I wake up to an empty bed.
Michael is gone.
Whenever I wake up alone I always feel like a one night stand.. until I remember I'm married. I guess this feeling will go away after I get used to being married.
I stretch and stare out of the window. I cant just sit around all day and do nothing. When I was a teenager and I used to sit around all day on the weekends, my grandma almost made me get up and do something. Whether that was walking around the block, doing homework early, cleaning the house, or reading a book, it was always something. My grandmother always told me that a day without work is a day wasted. I've been wasting days abiding by Michael's rule of not working. I may be laying in the lap of luxury, but I can at least get some work done.
As I am getting out of bed, I take the blankets and sheets off. These need to be cleaned after what happened last night. I fold it and put it in a corner of the room. I look in the closet and there is a vacuum. I roll it out and plug it up, vacuuming the floor thoroughly. This is a state of the art vacuum cleaner, even better than the Chamberlin's. I put it back in the closet. I wonder where my cleaning supplies are, probably mixed in with the supplies in his house. I mean our house. I take a shower and grab some of our hidden clothes and put them on. I head into the kitchen with the dirty sheets and blankets, and I sneak into the laundry room. It's a shame, he has the highest quality cleaning products, but his maids still cant clean this house spotless. Maybe they get away with just cleaning the areas that Michael uses the most, or maybe Michael thinks that it's just too big to clean thoroughly.
I'd like to prove him wrong.
I make sure no one is around. I see those maids gossipping all of the time. They have nothing better to do, I mean, they dont actually clean anything. The chef cleans better than them! Let me leave his maids alone. He hired and kept them for some reason. I throw the sheets and blankets in the washer and go back into the kitchen. I see his chef running out. She stops when she sees me.
"Do you need anything before I go to the store?" She asks, in a rush.
I shake my head. "It's fine. If I do get hungry I can find someting to cook."
"It's really no big deal for me to whip up something quick before I leave if you're hungry honey." She grabs the car keys off of the counter.
I smile and shake my head. "I'm not hungry. You can go shopping."
She smiles and runs out the door. I watch her pull out of the driveway and I look around the kitchen, looking for dirt. Of course I can find some dirt. It's a kitchen. The chef does a really good job keeping this place clean though. I grab a microfiber towel and look for the oven cleaner. I spray it on the oven and let it sit. I feel like pulling my bandana out and really going to work in this kitchen. Im sure Michael has burned all of my bandanas though. I grab a broom and I sweep around the island and the back of the kitchen. I throw out the sweepings in the garbage can and I hear the ding from the washer.
Sheets are washed.
I go in the laundry room and put the blankets and sheets in the dryer. I go back in the kitchen and wipe down the oven and cabinets. I look around and get another vacuum to sweep the living room with. I look around and I see the door to the library. I open it, examining it. It's pretty clean, except the books are a little crooked. I fix them and I alphabetize them as much as I can before I get tired. I figure the clothes are done by now.
As I exit the library, I look at all of the art that Michael has hung in his house. He has great taste in art. Im sure that he is rich enough that he can call the painter himself and request a piece that he will undoubtedly create for him. I dont see any pictures of him and his family though. Perhaps he keeps it in a special place. He may not have told his family that we are married, but from what I know they are tight and he loves them. I think about Nina for some reason. She was only really my friend when I was working at the clubs. She was still my friend though. I know she knows about this just like everyone else. She must be going crazy.
I go into the laundry room and take the blankets and sheets out of the dryer. I rub them on my face gently. I love the feeling of freshly dryed blankets on my face. I fold them and I put them in a basket nearby. I place it on my hip and walk into the lobby to go upstairs. I hear the door open and I turn around. I see Michael enter the house looking very upset. I know it isn't my fault.
He throws his bag on the ground and drops to his knees. Oh my... he must have really went through something. I put the basket down and I walk over to him slowly. He puts his face in his hands and he breathes deeply. On second thought, I will just leave him alone. I back up and he removes his hands from his face, placing them on his legs.
"Fuck, if only I drank." He whispers.
His profanity throws me off a bit and I keep backing away slowly. He takes another deep breath and he looks up, surprised to see me standing there.
"Hello darling." His voice is deep, tired.
I swallow hard. "H-hi Michael."
He helps himself up and brushes off his pants.
"Is there anything I can-"
He holds his hand up for me to hush. He looks behind me then points to something.
"You've been cleaning." he has an accusatory tone in his voice.
I look at the laundry basket on the ground.
"The one thing my maids will not do is leave something on the ground. What did I tell you about trying to be a maid?" He continues, clearly not impressed with the work I have done all day.
I try to explain, but I cant. I am a maid though... I just keep quiet and look down.
"Im glad you don't talk that much, because right now I dont want to talk to you." He says, kinda frustrated.
My heart sinks and Michael walks up the steps and slams the bedroom door. I jump and just stand there for a minute, trying to keep my emotions in check. I take a deep breath and the maids are behind me grabbing the basket.
"I-I'll take that." I say, my voice cracking. Wow he really shook me.
They pick it up anyway. "No need ma'am. We can put it away."
They take it away and I walk into the library, locking the door behind me. 'Don't take it personal. He had a bad day. You didn't ruin it' I say to myself. I pick up a book called "Glitch". I read a few chapters and I like it already. It's a teen book, but the concept it interesting. I look at my watch and keep reading. It's still pretty early. I can eat in an hour. I can hear a lot of walking around outside and I put my book down. I go out of the library and I can see the maids and other workers walking around with plates. I go into the kitchen and the chef is sitting at the island eating some pasta. She looks up and wipes her mouth quickly.
"I can fix you a plate right now."
I stop her. "No rush. I can fix it myself."
I fix my plate and I sit across from her. "Not to pry, but does Michael rush you?"
She shakes her head. "No. He called all of us to a meeting shortly after your wedding telling us to treat you like a queen and make sure that you don't have to lift a finger. We're just trying to make you feel comfortable here."
What woman is forbidden to clean her own house? It's like the opposite of a 1950's housewife.
I nod at her. "Thank you. You really have made me feel at home here."
She smiles. "Oh and just between us, dont take his work-induced anger personally. Best thing to do is leave him alone and let him come to you. He will never bring his problems to you."
I nod and smile at her. "Thanks for the advice. I appreciate you talking to me. Everyone else acts like Im untouchable."
She puts her plate in the sink. "Well you basically are. You're the most important woman in his life, besides his Mother, and if you're not happy trust and believe Michael will solve that problem very quickly."
I guess it is like everyone has to walk on eggshells around me. Im not going to get anyone in trouble though. They don't know that and Im sure Michael has ways of finding things out.
I sigh. "See you later."
She waves me off and I go back into the library to continue my book. I get through it pretty quickly, it is so interesting. I wish she would finally remember that she got to the surface though. I hear a knock on the door and I jump. It brings me back to reality. Another knock.
"Esmeralda open up."
It's Michael.
I unlock the door and he walks inside.
"Why did you lock yourself inside?" He asks, concerned.
I look down. "So no one would come in."
"I was glad to hear you had eaten." He whispers.
I shut the door and turn around, leaning on the door. I look at him. He looks much better. Michael looks over at the books.
"Forgive me if I have offended you." He finally says.
Im puzzled. "Offended?" I ask.
He walks over to a stack of books on a podium.
"Earlier, when I said I didnt want to talk to you. I know that hurt you and I apologize. I didn't want to talk to anyone, but I made it seem like I had a special anger for you. I didn't. I took my anger out on you and it was wrong. Please forgive me." He doesn't even look at me, he must feel really bad.
Wow. That is the best apology I think I have ever gotten.
I smile at him. "I forgive you Michael, but really I got over it quickly. I know you were upset and you needed your space."
He looks at me, running his fingers over one of the books. "I havent told you how beautiful you look today. You're stunning." He says, biting his lip.
I blush hard and look down. "You're too sweet."
When he acts like this I can stand to be around him. I'm the most comfortable around him when we are just laying in bed. Odd. Maybe because it's when he is the most vulnerable.
"You know what I haven't heard you say to me at all?" He asks.
My eyes get wide. Oh no. He is going to rip into me for not saying I love him, but I can't lie to him.
"Michael..." I whisper.
"It's alright darling. I guess it's not that big of a deal. We're married now so you have your whole life to get there." He finishes.
I panic and swallow hard. "I.. I'm just not ready yet."
He nods slowly. "It's fine. Dont feel pressured. Just tell me when you're ready. It may not be for everyone."
"I am trying, but Im not good with expressing my feelings very well." I admit.
"Honestly darling if it makes you sick just tell me." He says.
Wait, what? Telling him I love him wont make me sick. "If what makes me sick?" I ask, puzzled.
"Riding on the rides. I know some people hate them, so you can tell me if that's the case." He says, understandingly.
I sigh in relief. "Oh Michael I love roller coaster rides! We can go now if you want."
He looks at me weirdly. "You just said you weren't ready yet."
"Yes I meant I wasnt ready yet because I need to change my clothes. These are raggedy." I lie.
I walk past him and go upstairs to change into a blue sundress. I already rode on the rides though. I know he hated that outfit anyways. I go downstairs and he smiles and takes my hand.
"You'll enjoy this."
I smile and we walk outside, circling around each ride, greeting the operators as we go.
"Where would you like to start?" He asks, fixing his button up.
"The merry-go-round looks nice." I answer.
I think the only ride I am definitely NOT getting back on is that zipper.
He raises his eyebrow. "Playing it safe huh?"
I shrug. "I like that ride."
He nods and we walk over to the merry-go-round. I sit on a horse with a black mane and Michael sits on the one next to me, with a white mane. I hold on to the pole running through the horse for balance and Michael smiles at me, not needing to hold on. He motions to the operator to get it running and we start spinning while the horses move up and down individually. I actually do like this ride. It's so peaceful, but fun at the same time. Michael's version moves way faster than normal anyways. I can almost feel my hair blowing back in the wind it is going so fast. I look over at Michael and he is looking at me, almost silently making sure that I am having a good time. It's like a mini amusement park back here, who wouldn't be having fun?
Six rides later we find ourselves getting on the ferris wheel. Ive never seen Michael so carefree and comfortable until I saw him on these rides. The little kid that everyone talks about in interviews really came out in this moment and I think I like this aspect about him. He seems genuinely happy out here.
"Michael are you sure this dress is okay for these rides?" I ask, worried it might fly up.
"Yes darling now come on." He beckons me.
He helps me on the seat and straps us in. It slowly lifts us and the view is amazing. I feel the wind and my dress flies up. I smooth it back down, embarassed.
I blush. "I should have worn jeans."
He looks at me. "I love the dress."
He turns around in the seat and puts his lips to my ear. "I couldn't have seen what color panties you're wearing if you had jeans on." he says, seductively.
I tense up. Oh geez. I instantly feel hot. Just like that the little kid is gone and Michael has come back.
"I think they are cotton... let me check."
He gently slides his hand down my dress and pulls it up, revealing my blue panties. He slides his hand up and down my panties slowly.
"Oh yeah that's cotton." He says, as if he really cared about the material of my panties.
I moan under my breath and we stop at the top of the ferris wheel.
"You're dripping Kitten." he purrs in my ear. "Let's plug the leak before you ruin you're pretty cotton panties."
He slides his hand into my panties and I feel his long fingers slide across my flesh. He holds me back in my seat as I almost fall off of the ride from my convulsing.
"You dont want to do that. Just relax while I take care of this."
He looks at me as he is rubbing my wetness slowly and torturously. I try to control my breathing and shaking as he breathes on my ear, making me shiver.
"How does that feel?" I can hear the wanting in his voice.
My breath catches and I bite my lip as I feel him slide a finger inside of me.
"Ive got something to help your communication skills." He whispers.
He slowly takes his finger out of me then shoves it back in. I squeal.
He smirks. "There we go. Tell me how it feels."
I try to speak, but I cant control my breathing. Oh it feels so good. I even forget that we're at the top of a ferris wheel. I look down and Michael shoves his long finger back inside of me. I jump and whimper.
"Speak." he growls.
"It feels... so good." I pant and my legs spread farther, out of my control.
"I know it does feel good Kitten. I can make you feel very good." He says through his teeth.
I squirm in the seat at his words and he brings his thumb to my clit gently rubbing it while fingering me.
"Moan." He demands.
I moan automatically. I feel like a puppet and he is pulling all of the right strings. I bite my lip and grabs his arm, no longer able to control my moans or my desire. He bites my lip and I squeal. Im gonna explode if he keeps up like this.
"Oh.. Michael..." I moan.
"I love it when you moan my name sweetheart. The ride is not over yet."
He pushes his finger in deeper and looks into my eyes.
"Kiss me."
I resist the urge to throw myself at him, from embarassment, so I gently kiss him on the lips. As much as he kisses me, I feel so inexperienced kissing him. My first boyfriend and I didnt really kiss. Im alright at kissing back, not so great at initiating it. I pull back, feeling a bit embarassed at my poor kissing skills. Im surprised I can feel anything other than lust with his finger deep inside of me. He begins moving his finger in circles inside of me and I jump, the pleasure intensifying.
He chuckles. "I know you can do better than that Kitten. Kiss me like you mean it."
Now Im on the spot. I breathe deeply. Why cant he just keep fingering me and leave it at that?
I lean in close and my lips touch his, shaking a bit. His lips are so velvety and soft. I push myself into him as I feel his finger work my insides. I close my lips over his and kiss him, trying to bring out my passion. He doesnt respond so I guess he wants more. I reach a shaky hand up to his shoulder, moaning, as I feel a climax building up. I feel him open his mouth up and I hesitantly slide my tongue inside. I am relieved as he closes his mouth over my tongue, responding to my advances. He rubs on my clit harder and fingers me deeper. I moan in his mouth and he releases my tongue, but bites down on my bottom lip making me breathe deeply. I moan his name under my breath, squirming and trying to hold in my orgasm. He releases my bottom lip and he looks at me with dark, lust-filled eyes.
"You're gonna cum." he says, challenging me.
I close my eyes, avoiding his intense gaze. I start panting. I cant even moan or speak right now.
Im so close.
I feel the ride jerk and my eyes fly open. I look at Michael, clearly panicking, and he calmly holds his hand out over the edge of the ride, motioning for the operator to keep the ride still.
"Now we gotta get down from this ride. They're starting to get concerned. We cant get down until you cum." He demands, huskily.
My eyelids get heavy and I push back on the safety bar holding us back. He applies pressure on my g-spot and I dig my nails into the cushion covering the safety bar.
"Michael... oh my god.." I whine, feeling my orgasm on the tip of my tongue.
"Cum. Now." he breathes.
I climax hard, throwing my head back and muffling my screams by clamping a hand over my mouth. I feel Michael take his fingers out of me and he takes my hand from over my mouth. I shiver.
"I dont mind if you scream."
He licks his fingers and my heart is beating fast as Im catching my breath. Michael smoothes my dress back down and he moves his hand back inside the ride. The ferris wheel starts to lower. We get to the bottom and I am breathing normally again. The operator helps us off of the ride.
"You guys were up there for a while." He comments.
Michael looks at me. "She didnt want to come down."
I blush and look down. He pulls me in front of him.
"Walk in front and turn around occassionally saying something." He tells me.
I give him a puzzled look, but I walk in front of him, holding his hand. I still love holding his hand. We walk for a while and I turn around, walking backwards. He tilts his head down to look at me.
"I just want to say.. that I really like holding your hand." I say shyly.
I look down and turn back around. I can hear him chuckling behind me. It's kind've a juvenile thing to say considering he has had his finger inside of me for the past 10 minutes. We walk a little more and Im wondering why he wanted me to do this. We walk past some animal trainers and I turn back around again. My eyes wander until I get to his crotch and I instantly look into his eyes. He smirks at me.
Did I do that to him?
"You have great taste in fashion." I say smiling.
He smiles wide and I turn back around. We walk past the gardeners and I face him again.
"Can I ask you something?" I say quietly.
He nods. "Of course."
I bite my lip. "Can I brush your hair while we lay in the grass?"
He raises his eyebrows. "Im really not used to anyone brushing my hair but Karen."
I look down and he chuckles. I look back up at him, he is so irritating sometimes.
"Im kidding darling. Of course you can brush my hair. Im just happy you want to touch me. You know I love touching you."
I blush and keep walking. God he knows just what to say.
He pulls on my arm. "Wait here."
He walks over to one of his workers and starts talking and laughing with him. He walks back over and hands me a brush.
"I wonder why he even had a brush all the way out here." Michael says, puzzled.
I smile and take it. "Thank you."
He interlocks fingers with me. "Lead the way."
I turn around, looking for a spot we can lay down at. I see a shaded spot over by a tree and I lead him over to it. I drop to my knees and Michael looks down at me.
"Would you like me to lay in the grass or prop myself on the tree or.. sit in your lap?" He asks.
"Umm.. you can just sit indian style in front of me." I answer, putting my hair behind my ear.
He turns on his heels and drops to the ground like a ballerina.
"Im quite tender-headed so go easy on me." He warns.
"Okay." I say nervously.
I brush softly then I remember why he is so tender-headed. I think about the Pepsi incident. I wrap a curl around my finger. His hair is so soft and silky.
"Is this okay? Does it feel alright?" I ask.
He sighs. "I cant feel anything."
My eyes get wide. "Is.. is that normal?"
He giggles and I smile instantly. His laugh is so cute.
"I cant feel anything because you're brushing so softly." He admits.
I laugh, embarassed. "Sorry."
I continue brushing his hair and he turns around to face me. He puts a stick of gum in his mouth.
"Don't stop brushing."
I gently, but not too gently, brush his hair and he smiles at me.
"Im glad you're enjoying this." he says, almost taunting me.
"Im not trying to hurt you." I confess.
He shakes his head. "You're not gonna hurt me. You could never hurt me."
I smile a little and brush his hair some more. I didnt exactly expect for him to face me while I was doing this. He opens his legs and pulls me in closer.
"You smell divine." He says.
I blush. "Thank you. You smell great too."
"When are you going to believe that I'm telling the truth? You're beautiful." He says, genuinely.
I look down, feeling bad. It's not that I dont believe that he thinks I'm beautiful, it's just that I dont see myself as this beautiful goddess he makes me out to be.
"I want you to see what I see Esmeralda. To me, you are as close to perfection as it gets." He admits.
I stop brushing the hair and I fiddle with the brush. Can we please stop talking about me? He sees me avoiding the conversation and grabs the brush.
"I want to comb your hair. Turn around." He says.
I look at him and I turn around on my knees.
"On your bum." He taps me on my butt and I sit on my butt.
He pulls me into him and I feel my body so close to his body. I start to get hot. Not because Im turned on, but because Im so nervous just sitting up on him like this. Ive never been this close to a man and it's such a vulnerable feeling. I take a deep breath and he begins brushing my hair.
"You have beautiful hair." He whispers in my ear.
"Thank you." I whisper back.
He starts to manipulate my hair and suddenly it feels compact, tighter. Like he tied it in a knot. I feel on my hair and it's in a braid.
He braided it.
I turn around and look at him. "Where did you learn how to braid?"
He smiles. "Lot's of people. My mother, Janet, Karen. I just watched them and learned."
Wow.
"It's very good Michael." I say to him, impressed.
He smiles and I turn back around, sinking into his lap. This actually feels really nice. He unravels my hair and I close my eyes. I want to tell him that Im really starting to loosen up, but Im nervous about what he will try. I take a deep breath.
"You dont have to tell me baby. I already know. I can feel it. I feel your body getting more relaxed under my touch. Your veins arent protruding like you've been violated and you dont break out in a sweat when I grab your hand. Your eyes no longer widen at the suggestion of intimacy and even if it's subtle, I get your advances and I know when you want to touch me. You're getting used to being around me. You like being around me." He says.
Wow. I didnt even know he noticed. He is so detail-oriented. Maybe he wants to watch me more closely to be able to do more things to me. Either way, I love how he is paying attention. He kisses me on the cheek.
"And I know you're a better kisser than you're letting on. You're just afraid to show me your naughty side." He smirks.
I blush. "I dont even know if I have a naughty side."
He rubs up and down my arms. "I'll pull it out of you. Dont worry."
I swallow and pull up some of the grass under me. As usual, the things I plan on doing never turn out the way I expect. He runs his fingers through my hair gently.
"Would you like som gum?" I hear him popping in my ear.
Just in case my breath isnt smelling too good, I would.
"Yes please."
I turn around and hold my hand out. He smiles and closes my hand. He grips my hair at the back of my head and tilts my head back. He forces his lips onto mine and my breathing becomes labored. I feel him slide his tongue into my mouth, then he breaks the kiss, releasing his grip on me. I bite down on the gum in my mouth and open my eyes. Michael is smirking while putting another piece of gum in his mouth. That was...
Interesting.
To say the very least. He throws the wrapper in the grass and lays back. I crawl over to him and rub him on his stomach.
He grins. "I like that."
I blush and continue rubbing.
"I think you like touching me baby." He says.
I look up at him. "I like something about you."
He pulls me down on top of him by my waist and I cover my face with my hands.
He chuckles. "You're so cute."
I slide down his body and lay my head on his chest.
"How long do you want to stay out here?" he asks.
I shrug. "You can tell me when you want to go inside."
"Im on your time now darling." He answers.
I'd love to just lay out here, but these bugs are bothering me. I see a snail crawl across my hand and I jump up, shaking it off and screaming.
Michael stands up. "What's wrong?"
Im still so startled I cant speak. My hand is shaking and he rubs it gently.
"A.. a s-snail... my hand." I stutter.
He holds my hand as we make our way back into the house. Im not shaking as bad anymore.
"Are you okay now?" He asks.
I nod.
"Come. Dinner is ready." He says.
The last thing I want to do is eat after that horrible thing crawled on me, but I dont want to starve because of it. I walk into the kitchen with Michael and sit at the table.
He holds my hands. "Are you alright?"
I nod. "That just.. really freaked me out."
He nods and rubs my fingers. "I did something for you."
I look at him, wondering what it was that he could have done.
"What was that?" I ask.
He bites his lip. "I set you up with a talent agent."
I stare at him... Why?
"She is the best in the business and I just assumed you would be amazing so I kinda hyped you up." He explains.
My mouth is kinda on the ground right now. "Why?" I say finally.
"You said you wanted to be an actress. Im just helping make your dreams come true." He says.
I look down while I am processing this. I dont want to seem ungrateful because Im really happy he did this for me, I just cant believe it. It seems so unreal. Im gonna be in movies? Im gonna be on the big screen? I look back at Michael, deciding I will freak out about it some other time.
"Thank you. I really appreciate it. I just cant believe that Im gonna be in movies and on red carpets." I say truly grateful, but not trying to get too excited. I may not even be a good actress.
He smiles. "You're very optomistic. I love that. See, I just want you to be happy."
I hold his fingers to my mouth and kiss them gently. He giggles and I smile. His giggle is so cute. His chef brings us our food and we eat in silence. I daydream about my movies and getting awards. It is actually gonna happen now. I mean, it is plausible now. How did I get so lucky? Knowing Michael, he's not going to let them put me in just any movie. In that respect, I am glad that he is by my side. Then again, I dont want him controlling my entire career. Look at me, Im already talking about a career that hasn't officially started yet. Michael touches my hand and I jump out of my daydream. I look at him and sigh.
"Hey." I say simply.
He smirks. "I was wondering when you were going to come out of your daydream."
"I guess Im just really excited and nervous at the same time." I admit.
"Understandable. Are you ready for bed?" He asks.
I nod and we walk upstairs to the bedroom. I throw a nightgown on and Michael turns the lights off.
"You're meeting is tomorrow morning. I know you're not a morning person, neither am I, but that's the way it works in this business." He says, in his professional tone.
I nod. "I'm okay with that."
He kisses me on the cheek and sinks into the bed. Some nights, I think he only goes to bed so I can sleep. I doubt if he really gets that much sleep in a day. He is always working...
To be continued...