The sun shines on my face and I open my eyes reluctantly. What is usually a blanket wrapped around my body, is replaced by a sleeping Michael. Our bodies are folded together perfectly, like a jigsaw puzzle. I unwrap one of my arms from around his torso and reach up, brushing some curls from over his eyes. I stare at his beauty once again. A peace that I have been begging for has swept over him. I feel in this moment, a completely different man laying next to me than the man I married. It calms me. I kiss his lips gently, reveling in his presence, wishing he was conscious to appreciate my loving gestures. I slide my hand down his arm and into his hand, gently holding it. It takes me back to when we first met, and just a touch of the hand made me wild. I can't go back to sleep, so I lay watching his every move.
I think about what he told me the last time we were together. How he never wanted to be taken advantage of ever again and he was trying to protect himself in our marriage. I can understand that. I might not have understood it before, but I can only imagine how many women have taken advantage of him in his life. Made him believe that they loved him, but in reality they only wanted him for fame or money. Falling so deep for someone who doesn't care about you hurts.
I twist my wedding ring around on my finger with my thumb and sink into Michael's chest once again. I'm not used to him sleeping this much, maybe his depression has been doing this to him like with me. I'd never wish that kind of agony on anyone.
Michael's breathing becomes normal and I see him waking up. He stretches his legs, placing his free hand over his eyes and yawning. I crack a smile at his cuteness and he opens his eyes slowly, surprised and satisfied by the sight.
"Good morning." He says, sleepily.
"Good morning Michael." I reply.
"I'm very surprised to see you still here beautiful." He says, sitting up on his elbow.
"This is my house." I explain, knowing what he means.
"I don't think you're above abandoning me in your own home." He says, playing with my wedding ring.
I chuckle. "I'm trying to make sense of all of this. Can't do that running away from you. Last night was amazing." I say, smiling.
"I agree." He says, brushing my hair out of my face.
"But I'm not ready to get into a relationship with you again." I explain.
He drops his hand. "Oh." He says, sounding disappointed. "I actually anticipated you using me for sex." He says, looking into my eyes.
"That is not what that was." I say, not knowing whether he is serious or not.
"I know. I was kidding." He says, rubbing his thumb on my cheek.
"Why did you marry me? I mean, why did you want to marry me? What did you see in me that told you I would be the wife for you?" I ask.
"Honestly, I didn't think you would agree to marry me at all. I knew I was crazy for asking so soon and I expected for you to turn me down and call me crazy. But you have to understand that after that first date, I could see in you everything that I wanted in a woman and everything that I wanted in a wife. You were independent, beautiful, optimistic, honest, hard working, loyal, loving, generous and kind. I could tell you weren't the kind of woman that would use me for my money or betray me to get your 15 minutes of fame. I could tell a lot of things by the way you carried yourself and the way you spoke to me. You saw me as a person and not some celebrity. I appreciated that. I thought, why would I ever let a woman like that slip through my fingers? It may seem like I was expecting for you to accept my proposal, but it took me a while to process that any woman, especially you,wanted to marry me. You're not the first womanIve proposed to either." He explains.