Poe stood with his hands on his hips facing the mouth of the cave, even though it was impossible to see much through the sheet of rain outside. My clothes stuck to me like a second skin and the dampness inside our tiny shelter definitely didn't help. I was in a foul mood to say the least...rightfully so considering everything that had happened within the last six hours.
Poe, of course, was still as optimistic as ever. My eyes flickered from the torrential downpour back to him. All broad shoulders and narrow, tapered hips. His curly hair looked more wild than usual, damp from the rain and untidy from his fingers combing through it every few minutes. It was the only indication that he was at all anxious about our predicament. Everything else about his mannerisms could've fooled me.
"So now what?" I asked, having to shout over the rain pounding against the rocks overhead. I pulled my knees into my chest and wrapped my arms around them, trying to huddle in on myself to preserve what warmth I could. "Our ship is completely useless, we're stranded on this god forsaken planet in the middle of nowhere, and we have no way of contacting anyone. And it's cold. And rainy."
"Rainy? Really?" Poe said with feigned surprise, turning over his shoulder to look at me with raised eyebrows. "I hadn't noticed."
I gave him a look that I hoped indicated I wasn't in the mood for his humor. "We're stranded. You could look a little more concerned."
He let out a sigh, shoulders lifting then dropping again before he turned away from the cave entrance and came toward me. He dropped into a crouch. "We're not stranded," he said very matter-of-factly, rummaging through the single pack we'd salvaged from the wreck. "We've just hit a minor detour."
I scoffed, pushing my damp hair off my forehead and Poe's lips lifted at one side. "Detour," I muttered.
"Yes, detour." He pulled out a canteen and took a swig, offering it to me but I shook my head. "As soon as the rain lets up, we keep going. We gotta hit a trading outpost or some type of settlement eventually. We can signal for help, or maybe find a ship that can get us outta here. This is not the worst thing that could've possibly happened."
Debatable. That was what I wanted to say, but I bit my cheek to stop myself. He wasn't totally wrong...we could've died in the landing. One or both of us could've been seriously hurt, unable to walk away and even attempt to find help. So yes, maybe we were lucky that this was the worst so far. But it didn't change the fact that we were stuck.
"If you could magic us some dry clothes out of that bag, that would be a good start," I said sarcastically as Poe sat with his back against the wall of the cave. He had to be just as uncomfortable as I was. He'd shrugged off his jacket and had draped it over a rock in the back of the cave to dry. His t-shirt had still managed to get soaked all the way through and I hated that my eyes couldn't seem to stop looking at him. More specifically, the way the shirt clung to him and outlined every muscle on his torso.
"If I could, I would. Or at least some dry wood or kindling so we could get a fire going. As it stands, this is what we got." He pulled out a thin square of fabric packaged in protective sealant. Survival blanket, but just one.
I groaned and closed my eyes, resting my cheek against the top of my knees as a shiver wracked my entire body. "C-Can't rain forever. Or maybe it can." I waited for Poe to let out a 'psh' or contradict me with more of his positivity. Instead, he was quiet. I made myself glance up at him, clenching my jaw to keep my teeth from chattering. I wasn't made for the cold, I'd grown up with dry deserts and heat. Lots of heat.
The look of concern on his face made me pause, and my cheeks flush. Well, as much as they could for me being as freezing cold as I was. I could tell the gears in his head were turning— he had that stern, resolved expression on. A contrast to his usual, easygoing grin. Before I could ask what he was thinking about, his mouth set into a hard line and his hands went to the hem of his t-shirt.
"Alright, we gotta get you warm. I'm not gonna get an ounce of sleep with your teeth rattling in your head like that," he said before lifting his shirt over his head and spreading it out to dry on the floor.
It took my brain a very, very prolonged moment to process what he'd said. All I'd heard was 'teeth rattling, blah blah blah' before I was suddenly face to face with a shirtless Poe. Now there was something I'd never seen before. If the wet shirt had been a distraction, this was an entirely new realm of things that I'd never be able to stop thinking about ever again. He had the slender, athletic build of someone who wasn't used to sitting still for long, rain water glistening in the ridges of his abdomen. Dark curls of hair covered his chest, trailing a line over his stomach to the waistband of his pants. Where his hands currently were as he stood to his feet.
The connection from my brain to my mouth was malfunctioning. All I could do was stare.
"You just gonna watch, are you gonna start undressing?" he asked me, perking an eyebrow.
For whatever reason, that was what jogged me back to reality. I slammed my eyes shut. "Wait, what the hell are you doing? Why— what—" I sputtered and hated myself for sounding like a moron.
"Alright, you can calm down. It's called 'body heat'. And it's the only way we're both gonna make it through the night. It's science. Biology, or something like that. You went through basic training, didn't you?" he asked, sounding amused.
"Well, yeah—"
"Okay then. Take your clothes off. Your pale as death and your lips are turning blue and as cute as you are, it's not a good look," he interrupted and I heard the distinct sound of a zipper going down. Whether it was just those words, or the fact that it was Poe saying them that was making me so flustered, I had no idea. Maybe a combination? I was embarrassed of myself, though. It wasn't like I'd never seen a naked man before. And he was right. This was about survival.
"All of them?" I asked, taking a breath and opening my eyes. And wishing I'd kept them closed. God, was it possible for someone to be so...so stupidly attractive? He wasn't as built as some of the other Resistance fighters, but was made of lean muscles in all the right places.
Poe was in just his boxer shorts, laying out his pants to dry next to his shirt before spreading the blanket on the floor, folding it in half. One side to lay on, the rest to cover up with. He bunched up the backpack into a makeshift pillow and laid down on his side next to it, patting it invitingly. His dark eyes were dancing with quiet laughter.
"You're adorable when you get all embarrassed like that," he commented, propping his head in one hand. "But no. Not all of 'em. Contrary to what you may believe, I'm nothing if not a gentleman."
I pulled my lower lip in-between my teeth as my hands slowly moved to the hem of my shirt. Another shiver raced through me and I knew he was right. It was only going to get colder as the night went on. This wasn't about anything else but staying alive. That was it. It had nothing to do with attraction, or—or anything else.
"Damn it, it's cold," Poe groaned. "Will you please just do what I'm asking and get your ass over here?"
"Fine," I finally said and started lifting up my shirt before pausing. "But close your eyes."
At that, he looked at me in complete disbelief. "Are you serious?"
I hesitated before nodding slowly and he furrowed his brow before letting out a sigh and shutting his eyes. I waited a moment to be sure before pulling off my shirt, leaving on my damp sports bra underneath. I unlaced my boots, pulling off my socks one by one before shimmying out of my pants. It was even colder with only a few scraps of clothing to protect me from the elements. I glanced over at Poe, who was still lying on his side with his eyes closed and head propped in his hand.
For god's sake, I wasn't sure why I was making such a big deal of this. He was right...it was science. Or something. Two barely clothed people huddling for warmth. That was it. Except one of those people was Poe. And the other was me.
Stop it, I scolded myself. With a resolved sigh I dropped down onto the thin material of the blanket and scooted closer to Poe. Hesitant to actually touch him.
I heard him let out a breathy laugh before throwing the rest of the blanket over top of us. Then his arm was around my waist, pulling me into him. "You're gonna have to get a a lot closer for this to work."
My stomach was fluttering out of control, but the fact that Poe was very, very warm overpowered everything else. His skin was hot against mine, hardly any barriers between us, and I knew I was blushing. I felt him nuzzle his cheek against the top of my head as I tentatively uncurled my fists and pressed my palms to the warmth of his bare chest.
"God damn it, you're hands are freezing," he said in a rush and I felt a shudder rip through him as I tangled my legs with his and leaned into him.
"And you're like your own tropical climate," I muttered. He let out a chuckle, the sound rumbling inside his chest.
"I'm choosing to take that as compliment."
"Under these circumstances, it is one," I told him, trying to concentrate on the reasons behind why we were doing this instead of how it felt to be so close to him. There was still a little awkwardness...we were two people who ran missions together, fought together. The closest we'd ever been was sitting next to each other at briefings with shoulders brushing because the room was too packed for much personal space.
My hands slid down to his stomach and I heard him inhale sharply, the muscles there tightening. I felt the thin ridge of a scar on his side and traced it with one finger. A reminder that he was a soldier. Everything we did was survival.
Including this...but it was surprisingly intimate at the same time. I liked the way his arms felt around me more than what was good for me. There was warmth and comfort, but also safety and protection.
"What's this scar?" I asked softly.
He let out a hum, as if trying to remember. Which he probably was. I was sure he was covered in them, like me. Battle wounds all stemming from different times and places like a topical map.
"Bullet graze. After being ambushed by storm troopers when one of our informants went rogue."
"I remember that," I said, pulling the memory from the back of my mind. "You came back covered in blood. But smiling." I stifled my own smile, but I was grateful for it. I could smile because he'd made it back alive. "I couldn't go because—"
"You shattered your leg the day before," he finished. "You were in recovery, unconscious still. I came to see you, ya know."
I glanced up at him in surprise, but he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were closed and he was frowning. I had little memory of the injury and the time spent under the care of med droids. I'd been in and out of consciousness for days. As hard as I wracked my brain, though, I couldn't remember ever seeing or hearing Poe.
"You did?"
"Mhm. Before I left to meet my informant. I had to make sure you were gonna be alright. And while I'm sincerely glad you missed the mission, considering the ambush and all, it wasn't the same. Kinda felt like I was missing a hand, you know? I've lost count of the number of missions we've run together. I'm kinda used to you by now...even if you drive me crazy sometimes." His tone grew lighter and he squeezed me gently.
I smiled against my will. "Feeling's mutual, Dameron."
I didn't say it, but I was used to him too. I relied on him, counted on him, trusted him. Maybe more than I realized.
"Just throwing this out there, but under different circumstances, this would be pretty nice," Poe suddenly said, his fingertips following the curve of my spine down to the small of my back before reversing.
There was almost a hint of suggestion in his tone and I hesitated before pulling away enough to look at him. His fingertips stilled against my back as our eyes met this time. "Would it?" I asked uncertainly, not wanting to read too much into nothing. Into something that might just have been Poe talking for the sake of talking. Which he did a lot.
His gaze flickered to my mouth before back to my eyes. "Yeah, it would be. There's not really a whole lot of time for, you know, getting close to other people in the middle of a rebellion. But if there was more time, if someday we win this and there is more time, I wouldn't mind closeness. With you."
My heart leapt into my throat, and I searched his face for some sort of hidden meaning. Even though I was pretty sure I knew exactly what he was saying. That initial attraction between the two of us hadn't been my imagination. Even though I'd tried convincing myself plenty of times that it was, that it needed to be. For both our sakes. But Poe was giving me a very rare moment of vulnerability, and I couldn't let that slip out of my hands.
"I don't think I'd mind it either," I heard myself say. His lips lifted into a smile, eyes crinkling at the corners. "If we live of course."
He bit back a laugh. "Right, of course. If we live." His eyes drank me in again, and the longing there made my stomach clench. There was a moment of anticipation before he was sighing and pulling me closer, resting his cheek against my forehead again. "I'll try, but I can't make any promises."
I didn't answer, instead just closing my eyes and letting myself bask in him like he was a warm ray of sunshine coming in through a closed window. Close, but not as close as I wanted to be.
"I always knew you were into me," he said after a moment of silence. And all vulnerability was gone. Replaced by his usual cockiness. I internally rolled my eyes.
"I never said that."
"Isn't that what we just covered?" he asked. "Besides, I saw the way you watched me take my clothes off. It's always the quiet, sulking ones. Or maybe you were sulking because you wanted to be the one taking them off—"
I jabbed him in the ribs and his words cut off before turning into quiet laughter. "Please shut up. And you better not tell anyone at base we did this."
His palms spread against my back, holding me against him as he let out a another chuckle. "Not a word. Now stop being flustered and try to get some sleep."
"I'm not flustered," I muttered, the words muffled against him and barely coherent. I had no idea if he heard me or not, but it didn't matter. I was already drifting. The long trek from the ship, across this unforgiving planet, the rain storm and the sudden warmth, all catching up to me. It could've been my imagination, or maybe a dream, but I swore I felt Poe's lips against the top of my head before sleep finally claimed me.
quarantine do be giving me a lot of time doe.