Athena
It's a day before the wedding. Everything has been organised and prepared due to Julia claiming herself as the wedding planner.
Venue. Decorations. Cake. Everything she has organised.
Saying she wants nothing but the best for her son and her future daughter in law.
These nerves are going to eat me alive. This anxiety that is building up inside.
I don't know what to expect.
No one can save me. Mama used to.
But no one is here anymore.
No one can see or feel this pain that swallows me whole every single day and night after her death.
I hide it with fake smiles and blurry eyes full of tears but no one notices not even Papa.
I've just learnt to hide inside myself.
I learned how to stop crying.
I learned how to be somebody else, somebody that I'm not.
Most importantly...I learned how to be cold and numb... No one will know the difference.
No one knows me well enough to. It will stay like this forever.
I have no soulmate I have accepted that.
I will be forever numb till the day I am nothing but a gravestone.
Aodhan
I enter Athena's room to find her on the laptop her eyes glazed deep in thought about something.
Tomorrow is the wedding. Tomorrow I will be walking her down the aisle.
"Hey honey!" I say while looking at her. She looks up at me smiling.
"Hey Dad!" I know how hard this must be for her without her Mother by her side.
But she is strong and is getting through it and I couldn't be more proud of her.
She will have a piece of her mother with her though.
In the form of words on a hand-written letter.
Rosa even when alive wrote a few important letters for important dates to give to Athena. Her wedding day being an important one among others like becoming a parent etc....
"I know getting married without your Mother is difficult Athena but she didn't leave you completely alone." I tell her.
Her eyebrows furrow and she questions, "What do you mean by that Papa?"
Her confusion makes me laugh.
I say nothing but hand her the letter before leaving the room knowing she is going to need privacy for reading it.
Athena
Papa hands me a letter and leaves without another word. I look at the white envelope in my hands and I recognise my Mama's familiar cursive handwriting.
I'm scared to open it. I'm scared of reading the same thing I read during her will.
I'm scared of losing myself to the words that she could've spoken.
I'm scared of wanting to end my life to join her.
The thought too strong and frightening for me to actually do. During showers I see the blades and want to end my life but then I think about Mama.
She would be so disappointed with me ending my life. I am barely living because of her.
I am just surviving.
Waiting till the day my prayers are answered and I can leave this cruel world.
I don't want these words on a piece of paper.
I want Mama's comforting hugs and good advice.
With shaky hands I open the envelope. Ready to hear what Mama has to say. The envelope is addressed.
Her cursive writing neat and in black ink. The night before your wedding.
She knew. She must have.
Or why would she write these letters?
To my darling Athena,
Tomorrow is your wedding day, the most special day of your life.
Tomorrow you will walk down the aisle, radiating beauty, leaning on your father's strong arm, to meet the man you will take as the chosen love of your life.
Tomorrow this man you have prayed for will take you as his wife, for better or worse.
This specific God-ordained pairing of two young people claiming Jesus as their Saviour, joining together to live for Christ the rest of their days.
I don't know about you, but it overwhelms me.
I know without a doubt in my heart that this man is Romero Moretti. Your childhood best friend. Julia and I could always see the love in both of your eyes, planning the day you two would get married and finally make our dreams come true.
I couldn't be more proud of you today than I was before.
I don't know if I will be there with your father alongside to see you leave. But if I'm not I hope you smile.
I hope you can feel my presence with you every step of the way.
I'll raise hell on earth if I'm not by your side spiritually if not physically.
Headstrong and confident.
Stubborn and feisty.
Loving and giving.
Sweet and Sassy.
You are my child. My daughter.
The one I fell in love with when you were born. The baby I spent all my nights awake begging to go to sleep.
The toddler who clung to my leg and wouldn't let her mother go anywhere without her. The teenager who broke down in her mother's arms after getting her heart broken.
Tomorrow you are going to be a bride.
Even if it is not going how you are expecting it to go, don't forget to light the room up with your smile.
Your Mama will be right beside you holding your other arm.
Your Mama will be watching her only child get married.
You are always in my heart. Never far from my thoughts.
I love you Athena.
I'll love you forever.
As long as I'm living my baby girl i'll always be there for you.
Rosaline Aodhan Valentine (Athena's Mama) xxx
But you're not here. I want to say out loud.
After reading that letter, I did not get an ounce of sleep that night.
My pillow stained with the tears that wouldn't stop flowing.
Mama I need you.
I wanted nothing more than my mother by side.
But we don't always get what we want.
A/N:
Thoughts on this chapter.
I know all Athena ever does is cry but imagine losing your mother or someone close to you. Then getting put into a situation that determines the rest of your life.
Do you think Athena is overly emotional?
Do you think Athena will be happy with Romero?
Comment and Vote.
Soul x