Athena
Never not in a millions did I think that I would be attending a funeral. Let alone my mother's.
It's the morning of the funeral. Here I am.
Everyone has left me alone. Knowing I need space and time to heal.
Heal what? This pain will always be here.
Nobody is going to take this aching pain away from me.
It's a reminder of what I have lost.
Romero and his family are residing in a hotel and are attending the funeral. Alyssa and Kyle are coming. Everyone who was lucky to experience the kindness of my mother's beautiful soul is coming.
The cold shower is on as I let the water cascade down my body. Not caring that I'm shivering. The coldness resembling my heart.
How numb and cold I've become?
I don't want to leave the bathroom knowing I have to say something at the funeral.
I have to be cold and emotionless.
I can't let anymore tears fall.
I wish that were the case.
I leave the shower and dry my whole body. I have picked out a black bodycon bustier spaghetti strap dress to wear. It is a little revealing but I will feel comfortable in it.
(A/N: Ik the dress is inappropriate but it makes her feel confident and unbroken in it)
Comfortable enough to pretend I'm not affected. Curling my blonde brown hair, I finish and apply subtle make up on my face.
This is it.
Slipping my feet into red soled Black Louboutins I leave my room. I enter the hallway to see Papa sleeping on the couch empty champagne bottles littering the floor.
It's affecting him.
I thought he was calm and collected at the hospital seems like he was waiting for me to leave him alone.
He's drinking away the pain. Tears prick my eyes but I don't let them fall.
"Papa!" I wake try waking him up by calling him.
But he's not listening. Out of it.
Wasted. Wasted in the pain.
"DAD!" I scream loudly.
His body stands up abruptly with a jolt and he looks around.
"Rosa?" He says confusedly.
"Today's the funeral!" I say blankly showing no emotion.
A pain struck expression hits his face as he looks at my attire shaking his head in disapproval. He doesn't say anything.
This dress is what is helping me from showing no emotion, it is giving me the false confidence I need.
"Let me get changed and we'll head to the church!" He says while leaving.
Moments later her arrives in a black suit so smartly dressed.
How does he not have a hangover? A pounding headache?
He's acting like he didn't drink the night away.
The moment the doors to the church begin to near my heart starts beating rapidly in anxiousness.
My emotionless mask is set on. Nobody will know how much this death is affecting me physically and emotionally.
Every word that is spoken by Mama by strangers' goes one ear and out of the other.
After everyone has completed their speeches, Papa looks at me with a comforting smile. I get up quickly out of my seat and stand at the front.
Looking around at all of these unrecognisable faces, I look back to the front row and see Papa. Papa gives me the strength to continue.
I can't let these people see me weak.
On the front row is Papa, Aunt Julia, Uncle Nikolas and him. Taking a deep breath, swallowing the painful tears I begin my eulogy.
Dedicated to Rosaline Aodhan Valentine.
My Mama.
"I'd like to start by thanking you all for being her today. I never imagined I would be standing here talking about my Mama in the past tense. Like she isn't here." I say the tears are stuck behind my light blue eyes.
They have no permission to fall. Not today.
"There are really no words to describe my closeness with my mother. There are only feelings, indescribable feelings. Feelings that make my heart burst and my whole being melt. Because my mother was my insides. She is my insides. My guts. My confidence. My bravery and my strength. My sensitivity, my compassion, my loyalty and even my laughter." I choke out, my voice nothing but a low murmur speaking into the microphone.
"She was everything. She was my mother. I was her only child. So showered with love. Every little heartbreak I had experienced would break her heart. At 16 I lost someone who was once everything. He left me. But Mama always saw the good in him comforting me. That's just who she was. She saw the good and light in everyone." I glance at the front row but don't meet my eyes with his.
"If I had to conjure up one life lesson that she would want me to carry for the rest of my life, it is this: Seek advice from others, but always trust myself. She believed in me, and she believed that I always knew what was best for me."
This was true.
"And if I had to conjure up a second lesson or personal desire of hers, it would be a plea for me to forgive those who have caused me hurt. I'm not sure Mama understood the severity of pain I was put through by this one person. It might take a lifetime to forgive but for her I will. One day." I let out a laugh humourlessly.
"I miss you, Mom. I will trust myself, Mom, and I will be fine. I love you more than infinity. See you in heaven!" With that I leave and no tears leave my eyes.
Now here I am at her gravestone. Everyone long gone back home.
I wanted to be alone with her.
I'm scared of breaking down.
I'm scared of losing myself to the tears that are inevitable.
I need her with me. To guide me. To help me. To love me.
But she is never coming back.
"Athena!" I jump at the sound of the familiar voice and whip my head around.
Upon seeing Romero I glare at him.
"It's okay to cry!" He urges me telling me what I can or can't do like I'm a precious doll waiting to be broken.
"I've got no tears left!" I say angrily.
I don't know why I haven't told him to leave yet maybe because I'm not ready to be alone. Not yet.
"Remember when we were kids when I came to your house crying." Romero remember a distant memory.
"You asked Mama if you could stay with us forever. Your parents were fighting." I mumble remembering the day like it was yesterday.
"Rosaline welcomed me like I was her son. She was a second mother to me. She wouldn't want you to distance yourself from the people who are trying to help you." He says and I know there's some truth to his words.
"Let me take you home!" His words are nothing but sincere as he helps off the ground.
I don't turn back.
I can't.
I let Romero guide me to the car not caring about nothing anymore. I just want to go home and forget.
Forget everything happened.
Forget.
A/N:
How do u guys feel about Aodhan drinking the pain away?
How did u like her speech?
I got a little teary writing this.
I honestly luv Athena's character to bits.
Comment and vote your favourite character so far
Soul x