(GENERAL WANG)
It still took me four hours to get back to the Capital even though I rode hard and my horse to exhaustion. I went straight to my home, Wang Estate. I need to see that my lover and daughter are alive.
"Captain," Dayu was the one who welcomed me. I quickly grabbed him in my arms, hugging my heart tight. "Captain...?"
"You are alive. You are alive," I felt my heart beating so fast. Ready to burst. Dayu is alive. He is alright. Then I pushed Dayu away. "Hua? Where is Hua?" I asked my lover frantically.
"She is alive as well," Dayu said in a slow tone. His eyes filled with worry. "She is alive..."
"But she is not fine," that much I can easily discern from the worried and hurt look on Dayu's eyes. I let my lover go to look up. I know that my daughter is on the second floor of our home. "Is she hurt? I tried riding faster, Dayu ah. I tried...I'm sorry...I tried..."
"Shhh..." Dayu hugged me again to stop my fumbling apology. "I know you tried your best, Captain. I know. Don't do this...Hua needs us." Dayu's voice broke. "Your daughter...she killed Nadira."
My world stopped. "Hua...killed Princess Nadira? That Mughal Princess was here?"
Hua killed someone. This is not the first time my daughter used her strength to kill someone...but deep inside, I know this kill is different.
Dayu let me go to nod at me. "She was part of the invading force that attacked our home. An invading force made up of fifty men. We killed them all." My lover explained.
"And do we have casualty as well?" I asked.
Dayu's eyes dimmed as he nodded. "Fifteen of our servants were dead, as well as eight of our guards. Many more were hurt. We are already mending them, I set up an infirmary to accomodate all the wounded. What happened? I thought the Mughal force was going back to the South."
"It was a ruse to get me out of the Capital. And I willingly fell for it." I feel like beating myself for that stupidity. I was so eager to get Princess XiLen away from my daughter and Hua's fiance that I didn't see the trap she laid out for me.
"Is Hua hurt?" I asked Dayu, a little scared. I don't want to see my daughter hurting again. She already suffered a wound in her arm when she helped to save her fiance from an attack when this whole courtship with Prince Jin was just starting.
"Worse," Dayu said. My eyes widened at that. What could be worse than Hua getting hurt?
I was not prepared for the answer to that question. As Dayu and I moved upstair to see our daughter, I was not ready to see Hua kneeling by her bed while looking at her dead Nanny lying on my daughter's bed.
"She is not yet ready for us to take her Nanny. She won't let us touch her Nanny," Dayu's voice was laced with pain and fear. "I have never seen her like this, Captain. I don't know what to do." My lover seemed lost as well.
What could we do? If Dayu couldn't pierce into Hua's mourning, who can? I look around and saw my son standing close to the ruined doors of Hua's room. Dao is so still as he watched over his sister. I spied Prince Jin inside the room with Hua. Like Dao, my daughter's fiance is standing still while guarding my daughter.
No one is moving. No one has any idea how to move Hua from her post. No one knows what to do because this is a new territory for all of us.
Hua's world is standing still with her dead Nanny. And we are all standing still with her.
What should we do?
I found myself moving towards my daughter. I stopped when I got beside Dao and my son looked away from me. I saw Dao's fisted hands, the frustration simmering from my son's body is palpable. Almost tangible. The sorrow he must be feeling. Then I saw Dao's Nanny by the window of Hua's room. Dao's Nanny is alive. I closed my eyes in despair for my daughter.
I moved forward to kneel beside Hua. It's still dark outside and we can hear distant noises as people move downstair. But here, in Hua's room, it's like even the air is standing still.
"Daughter," I called for Hua. My eyes roam to assess my daughter's physical condition. There are dried blood on Hua's dress and several body parts. Most distinguished is the dried blood on her hands.
My daughter killed using her own hands. My daughter...
My heart hurt, like a hand reached inside my chest to squeeze my heart tightly. "Hua," I called for my daughter again.
Hua didn't recognize my call. She remained still in her kneeling position while staring at her dead Nanny. The blood on her Nanny's clothes, on the chest, made it effortless for me to determine how she died. A wound on her heart.
My jaw tightened. I am the head of this household. I am Hua's sire. She is my daughter. I have to save her from this sorrow.
I have to do something.
"Wang Hua, I am calling you." I touched my daughter's shoulder.
A mistake because I got my wish. Hua acknowledges my presence by turning her head and looking at me with her blank eyes. "Hua," I suddenly wish to know everything that happened. I want to know...how my daughter turned into this. A blank shell.
"Where were you? Where were you when Nanny needed you?" Hua asked, in a tone as emotionless as her eyes. "Nanny is dead. We don't need you anymore." She looked away. Coldly dismissing me.
I stared at my daughter's profile. Set like stone. Unfeeling and cold. And I realized, there will be no reaching Hua for today.
Her next words made that quite clear.
"Leave us alone." She said. "I want to be alone with Nanny. All of you, get out." Hua uttered as she closed her eyes. Then my daughter moved to get up from kneeling. She stumbled.
"Wang Hua," Prince Jin moved to help Hua but my daughter pushed her fiance away. "Don't touch me!" Hua shouted as one emotion finally filled her face. Anger. Unparalleled anger.
My daughter stood straight and regard us with fury. "Leave us alone! Leave me and Nanny alone! We don't need you anymore!" She screeched at us. She pushed Prince Jin away. She pushed me as well.
I stood up just as Hua grabbed something from her night table to throw at us. "LEAVE US ALONE! LEAVE US!" She shouted and started throwing more things. Dao moved to get inside the room so he can gather his own Nanny who started crying while watching Hua act like a madwoman in pain.
Dao hugged and guided his Nanny out of Hua's room. Prince Jin hesitated but Dayu took him away. I was left with my screaming daughter in her room.
When she realized we are alone, Hua stopped throwing things and looked straight into my eyes with accusations. "The gift your blood bestowed on me is useless. The lessons Father instilled on me are all useless. You should have taught us to not feel pain." Hua clutched the chest part of her robe, her bloodied robe. "You and Father should have taught us to take pains like this. You both failed." She said before pushing my chest. With enough force to make me move. "Leave us alone! We don't need you anymore!"
Hua kept on pushing me until I crossed the threshold of her room. Then Hua grabbed the curtains hanging by the threshold of her room to pull them together and close it.
I stood outside my daughter's room, listening to Hua cry in deep sorrow. Seeing her silhoutte as she hugged her dead nanny and lay her head on her nanny's unmoving chest. "Nanny, come back to me. I promise to be good. I promise. Please Nanny. Come back to me...NANNY!" My daughter's painful wail rang around us.
I closed my eyes and tears wet my cheeks. There's only two persons I remember crying like this for a dead person.
"No Uncle! No! Don't die, Uncle! I am here now. Uncle please...PLEASE, SOMEONE HELP US! UNCLE!"
"Baba, what will I tell Mama and my sisters, Baba?! BABA!"
Dayu and I know this pain. This pain of losing someone dear to us. Hua and Dao have no idea. They have no idea. I wished they would never feel this pain.
Well, Hua knows it now. And more than ever, I feel useless.
I felt the familiar comforting presence of my lover before Dayu's arms embraced me. I moved to hug him back. Together, we stood outside our daughter's room and endure our punishment.
Hearing Hua cry for her dead Nanny and feel useless as we couldn't do anything to ease her suffering.
We are Hua's parents after all. This is our job as her parents. Hua's pain is our pain.
..................
(DAYU)
In the end, sedating Hua was our only choice to get her to rest. I mixed something on her water and made her drink it. As the only person my daughter letting to touch her, I held Hua as the sedative slowly lulled her to sleep.
Dao graciously surrendered his room so his sister can lay there. I talked to my son while our people prepare Hua's Nanny to get clean. We will hold her funeral today as well.
"Don't you have to go back to the Crown Prince?" I asked Dao as my son stared at his sister's sleeping form in his bed. Prince Jin sat at the edge of the bed, holding Hua's hand.
"How can I guard the heir to the throne when I couldn't even focus my head? Me being like this will only endanger the Crown Prince. I have to straightened my head first before I can do my job." Dao said.
He is maturing fast, our Dao.
"Don't worry about your sister..."
I stopped when Dao gave me an intent look. "Not worry for Hua? You didn't see how she killed Nadira, Father..."
"I saw the body," I said to Dao. "I have formed the image myself on how Nadira died. How Hua did it. But that's over now. I want you to focus on yourself..."
"How?!" Dao's tone grew a notch. Enough to alert Prince Jin. "Can't you have this conversation elsewhere, Master Dayu? You two might disturb Hua's peace..."
I hate to admit that Prince Jin was right, so I took Dao out of the room and left my daughter on her fiance's hands.
Dao stood reluctantly before me. Looking like someone ready to endure a lecturing. I sighed. "I think things has changed now, Dao ah." I gave my son a sad look. "Most of your life, you and Hua shared almost every experience together. But this time is different. This event changes your sister. You and her have different views of the world now."
"Why? Because her Nanny died and mine survived? Why is that my fault?" Dao gave me an angry glare. But within his eyes, I also glimpse guilt.
"It's no one's fault but Nadira's and now she is dead as well. But when a dear person dies, the impact of that can be felt by everyone close to that person. Hua...this death has changed her already. She is a different person now."
"She doesn't have to be," Dao said mulishly. "She can overcome this grief. I will help her..."
"How?" I asked my son. "How can you help her when you couldn't even answer her when she ask where you were at when she called for you?" I sighed. "I'm not blaming you for anything. I was here yet I didn't do enough to secure everyone here. But I have also experienced pain like the pain Hua is feeling so I can understand her a little. You...you have no understanding of this pain."
Dao's eyed flashed with more irritation. "I love Nana too!" He adamantly said. "I lost her too. I love her too!"
I hugged my son. My innocent son. "I know. But it's different son, it's different from Hua's pain. I'm sorry but that's the truth. I won't roll that truth in sugar so you can swallow it. You have to face this truth. Hua is hurting. She is hurting badly and you cannot do anything to ease that pain aside from letting her face it on her own. You have to give your sister space and focus on yourself and duty for the moment."
Dao sobbed as he clutched me in a tight embrace. "But she is my sister! Mine! We are twins, I can help her! I should! She is my sister..." my son is full of sorrow as well. Probably filled with guilt as well.
I closed my eyes in despair for my children. "I'm sorry, Dao ah. I know it's hard to watch a person you love suffering but sometimes, sometimes Son, they have to go to their battles alone. We love them but there'll be war we cannot fight for them. Things they have to face on their own. Hua has that. You have that. You are twins but you two have to tackle different roads along the journey. Don't worry, Hua can overcome this. We have to trust her. And you have to trust me to look after her as she navigate this dark road. I will look after her. You live your life and do your sworn duty, Son."
Dao is not Hua's guardian. My son can lend his sister a shoulder to lean and cry on but to depend on Dao to solve every wrong and ugly thing on Hua's life won't be fair to both of them. Dao has a life of his own that he has to live. Hua has to face her challenges forward on her own.
My children are slowly becoming adults now.
Dao pushed away from me. "Baba went to the Palace to report to the Emperor. I have no doubt he will ask the Crown Prince to excuse me for today."
"Go to the Palace yourself," I told my son. Dao gave me a surprised look. I smiled at him. "You shouldn't let your Baba talk for you. You face the Crown Prince and ask his permission to be excuse for today. Face General Bam and Captain Ching and ask their explicit permission to stay here in the estate for the burial of Hua's Nanny. Don't pass that work on your Baba. Have some pride, Son."
Dao sighed before nodding. "I will ask the stable to ready Gentleman." He said.
I nodded. Proud that he understood his duty. "But before that..." Dao looked beyond my shoulder. I turned my head to see Dao's Nanny standing nervously near by. Dao moved to go to his Nanny and hug her again. Nanny hugged her ward back. She visibly sniffed. Now, more than ever, I see her and Dao holding each other tighter. I have no doubt in my mind that Dao held his Nanny closer to his heart after this.
I left them hugging to go downstairs. I have a household to manage, a funeral to assemble and wounded helpers to visit to see if they have everything they need.
I have so many roles but my role as Dao and Hua's Father is still on top of my list. Everything in our estate is standing still as we mourn with Hua, but after today things will change.
The twins are growing up and we have been invaded. Someone decided to underestimate us and dared to violate my home...the home I built with my lover.
It's an insult I will never let pass without retaliating. I will never let this insult to my lover pass. He is General Wang. This is General Wang's home. How dare them look down at my lover and our family like this?
How dare them hurt my daughter like this?!
I called for my senior guards to gather in a meeting.
"Behead those who dared to step put on my home without my invitation. Put the heads on chests and salt them liberally. We don't want them smelling. The bodies, burn them in a large hole." I ordered my guards.
They all nodded. "As you order, Master." Said one guard.
"But what will you do with the heads, Master Dayu?" One guard ask curiously.
"I will personally send them back to the person who send them here. That's manners. They bestowed a visit to us, we have to visit them back with gifts, am I right?" I told them.
My guards nodded in agreement.
"And Princess Nadira's body?" A senior guard asked hesitantly.
My jaw tightened as I thought of that killer. "Wrap her body in rags after salting her. Put her head on a box filled with ice. Oil that box so nothing will leak. I will carry that head myself." I said.
"Yes, Sir." With their orders given, my guards disperse to do as I bid them.
I think it's time I talk to Princess XiLen again. Maybe for the last time to clear things with her.