I'm back with the longest chapter I've ever written!!! 5126 words!! Once a-freakin-gain, I did not plan for this chapter to go this long so once a-freakin-gain I had to split it up.
Hella details up ahead. INTENSE PLOT DEVELOPING DETAILS!! Get comfy, everyone, this'll be a long, bumpy ride.
ENJOY~
It's been three days since the conversation with Lisa and still nothing has changed between Jennie and V. The Snow Leopard Shifter doesn't know how she has been able to cope , it's hurting less and less as they ignored each other. But she doesn't like that. It was so... numbing. She's waited long enough, she has to do something. It just didn't sit right with her that they were okay with just letting go with the close friendship they had. She needed to fix things if the hard-headed V won't.
Jennie approached Jungkook one day alone in the hallway of the Diamond and asked, "Have you talked to V?"
She noticed that he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Uh, yes, I've talked to him."
"Look, V is obviously keeping something from me and I know that you know what it is. But I'm not one to pry into someone's business and you're being the good friend by protecting him. But can you please at least tell me a little something, anything that will let me know why he's acting like this with me and if there's anything I can do to help."
Jungkook felt really bad for keeping Jennie in the dark about what's going on. He could see that Jennie was getting desperate now, the silent treatment between the two was killing her. So he led her to a more secluded and quiet place where he told her, "Fine. I'll tell you this much. V's dealing with... a personal problem right now."
"And what does that have to do with me?"
Jungkook was trying to find the right words, "It's... really confusing. It's just something that we all agreed not to talk about."
Jennie narrowed her eyes, "Who's the 'we' ?"
"The ones closest to him that he trusts the most."
"So... he doesn't trust me." That really saddened Jennie for some reason.
Jungkook quickly responded, "No, it's not that he doesn't trust you. You see, whenever something bothers him, his solution is to avoid it. I'm not saying you're the problem... it's just... you just remind him of it."
This conversation only confused Jennie more. "Is it me or is it something I did?"
Jungkook was getting more and more hesitant. "The answer to that would give too much away. I'm sorry, I can't say much."
Jennie blew out a heavy sigh of frustration, "I just... I really want to fix whatever it is that's happening between us. But if nothing's happened in such a long time... does he even care about me anymore?" Now that Jennie wondered that out loud, it sounded painful to her ears. "I don't want to put too much care into something that isn't meant to be fixed."
"Noona, don't think that way," Jungkook was slightly panicking now that there were tears brimming Jennie's eyes. He was not good at comforting girls. Where is Lali when I need her? "He does care about you, trust me. If it makes you feel any better, he's been mad at Jimin, Lisa, and I before and we got the same silent treatment. He's just really good at holding grudges." Then the younger realized his words and backtracked. "N-Not that he's mad at you, honest! And he's not holding a grudge on you! Ugh, what's happening right now is really confusing and you don't need to know. Just... know that things will get better. He will come around."
"Did he give you guys the silent treatment for almost three weeks?" Jennie challenged. At this, Jungkook was silent. "At least you know what you did to make him mad, I don't."
The brunette boy sighed in defeat, "V's always been hard to figure out, even I have trouble sometimes. He's just never good at dealing with problems besides putting on an ice mask, but believe me when I tell you that he really does care about you."
As much as Jennie would like to believe that, she needs to give herself the benefit of the doubt. She doesn't know what's going on in V's head right now, so she needs to protect herself first.
When her peripheral vision caught V walking by from afar, Glacia growled in agreement with her master. "Go for it", Glacia signaled. Jennie bitterly scoffed, "We'll see about that." Without hesitation, she went to execute that new idea.
"Uhh, Jennie-noona," Jungkook nervously followed the changed girl. "What are you going to do?"
"You'll see."
"Ohh nooo..." The younger has never seen her like this. When did Jennie have a cold look on her face?
When he saw that she was headed for the Mission Board that was also in the Diamond lobby, he sent a distress text to Lisa because he was done dealing with a girl's problems.
To RattyLali:
SOS Jennie boutta do somethin bad! Diamond Mission Board ASAFP!!
The swift Mink Shifter must've already been in the Diamond because all three of them arrived at the Diamond lobby at the same time where V and a few other trainees were gathered, one of them was the girl that has been talking to V a lot lately, Park Kahee is her name.
Lisa read Jennie's dark and jealous face to know exactly what Jungkook and Jennie were talking about before. Before the silently raging brunette could say something, Lisa spoke up, "Hey, V-oppa, you going on a mission now?"
V curtly nodded at her, "Yeah, some amateur gang is playing around with making bombs. I'm taking some of your trainees, Jungkook."
The Sky Master's eyes swept across the group in a quick evaluation. "Yeah, they told me. I approved them."
Jennie stepped up, not liking that she wasn't even spared a glance this whole time. "Can I come?"
She watched as V's jaw subtly tensed before briefly answering, "No." Then he quickly exited with his group.
Jennie was about to stop him when someone softly grabbed her arm. She was taken aback when she saw Kahee with a gentle apologetic smile, "I'm sorry, Jennie-ssi. But we already went through the plan and we're leaving now. It would take some time to catch you up anyway, so it's best if you stayed behind."
Jennie yanked her arm out of the grip and tightly smiled, "Thanks for the concern but I think I'm capable of going on a mission."
Kahee's smile dropped into a scowl and that's the confirmation that she was being fake all along. "Why are you suddenly barging in? If you wanted to go on a mission, you should've asked way before. I thought you always knew what Master V was up to." She purposefully said that to get Jennie riled up. She smirked, "Oh wait, he's been ignoring you, hasn't he? Tsk, he probably finally realized how weak and useless you are after that mission."
Jennie snarled, memories of that day flashing back. "I wouldn't call what I did weak and useless."
"Whatever the reason, I'm the one by his side now." Kahee obnoxiously patted Jennie's head. "I'll take care of him for you."
In response, Jennie exaggeratedly made gagging noises right at the girl's face. "You're fuckin' delusional. Never mind, I wouldn't want to go on a mission with you anyway."
"You would get in the way, anyway," Kahee countered.
The front door opened to reveal V who called out, "Kahee! Let's go!"
The said girl came running up to him immediately, "Coming, oppa~"
Jennie visibly cringed, Oh darn I should've spat in her face when I had the chance.
She felt a slight nudge on her back and found Lisa by her side. "Now's your chance. Go talk to him!"
Jennie glanced at the closing door and spontaneously shouted out, "V!" She ran towards the door to open it just in time to grab his arm.
V coldly glared at her, "What? I don't have time for this." His group was already in the cars.
This decision happened so fast that Jennie paused to think for a moment. "Yes, you do. Please, just a short talk." Without waiting for his answer, she pulled him inside again.
"Look, if this is about the mission, you can't go because you're not ready. After what happened last time, it's too soon."
"How would you know if I'm not ready if you haven't even talked to me for almost three weeks?!" There, Jennie finally said it out loud. "What kind of Master are you to not discuss what I need to improve on?"
"Jennie, I forbid you to go on any more missions until I say so," V said through gritted teeth. He was at the end of his patience and Jennie didn't know why he was so on edge already.
At this news, Jennie screamed at him in anger, "Are you fucking serious?!"
"I fucking am. And you can't go to Jimin about this either because that's against our rules." He turned to leave but Jennie was quick to grab his wrist again. Since Jimin was Jennie's other main master, she could get mission approval from him, but the rule was that if one said no, the other isn't allowed to approve.
Jenni never really had this kind of confidence, but the snow leopard in her was making her fierce with determination. Not even the dangerous glare V was shooting at her right now was going to make her back down. She needed to know. "Look, I wasn't even that upset about not going on this mission. But what you just told, no, demanded, is absolutely unreasonable if you haven't even been training me properly for the last three weeks."
After letting that out, she calmed down her tone, "V, what is up with you?" she asked in a gentle yet firm voice. "I've been letting this go on for almost three weeks, giving you space because you clearly have some problem going on. But you became more cold and distant with me. And honestly," her voice broke into a soft, bitter laugh, "it really hurts."
She caught a glimpse of his hard demeanor soften up just the slightest fraction, but that was enough to give her more hope. "Please, V. What is going on? Are you really okay?"
"Nothing's going on," V answered in an incredibly soft voice that made Jennie's heart leap. "I just need time to myself."
"How long are you going to keep pushing me away? I want to help you." Her voice was almost breaking from desperation but she tried to stay strong. But when she saw ice guard come back, face completely void of emotion, she knew she lost.
V shook his head and flicked his wrist out of her grasp. He turned his head away from her now, "Stop worrying. I'm fine." There was no softness that time.
The two Cat Shifters' dynamics were always like this: if one is calm, the other is calm too. If one starts to get irritated, the other does too, which leads to arguments and fights. They were both stubborn like that, neither of them ever wanted to back down, only building up. But those were always minor or playful since their relationship was still good.
But now, their relationship was anything but good. Since V was starting to show irritation, Jennie wasn't backing down. "Of course I'm going to worry. You're the one who told me it's always dangerous to go out when you're not mentally okay. You're too stressed out-"
"I don't fuckin' need you to worry about me!" V's temper finally burst and Jennie actually stumbled a few steps back, frightened. "If I say I'm fine, then I'm fine! Don't make me repeat myself even more!"
With every word, Jennie felt a sharp, harsh pang to her heart. V might as well be throwing his icicles at her. She bit her lip to stop the tears from forming, using the hurt she felt to fuel her anger.
She was so hurt that she couldn't control the words that she shouted right back at him, "Fine then! I'll fuckin' stop caring! You can come back with every limb broken and I won't care because you'll just say that you're 'fine', right?!"
"It's more like I come back to see you broken in the infirmary again as always."
Jennie didn't know what to expect, but definitely not those words and not that cold-hearted smirk. Am I really that weak and useless?
She really wanted to yell at him, hit him, blow up on him to release her anger, but it all was stuck in her throat as her heart clenched in shock and hurt.
Jennie's vision became blurry as she watched V's outline leave again. She quickly wiped her tears away and now noticed that there was a thick layer of frost covering at least half of the walls and floor of the large lobby. She also noticed that they had quite an audience, some on this floor and some leaning over the balcony.
Instead of feeling embarrassed or ashamed, she was irked by the whispers she was hearing. So she created a gust of icy wind in the direction of the gossipers to shut them up. "AGHH!" Freezing at the cold and her deadly glare, they scurried away. But there were still some lingering but that was taken care of when Jungkook simply gave them a warning glare.
When they were all gone, Jennie ever so calmly exited the Diamond. But before she left, she said to Lisa and Jungkook who were sadly watching her, "Sorry about the frost. It'll melt soon though."
***
"Bitch, that frost has still not completely melted and I almost fell twice already," was Jimin's greeting when he came in Jennie's room unannounced.
Jennie looked up from the book she was reading on her bed with dulled eyes, "That's embarrassing for a Master."
Jimin rolled his eyes at her attitude, "Alright, Ice Queen, chill out... uhh I mean warm up. Get your sorry ass out of bed, it's time for your evening training."
Normally, Jennie would never be late for training, but today was obviously not her day. She just slid down further into her comforter and said, "Nah."
To that, Jimin's eyebrow twitched in annoyance, "Stop being so dramatic. You act like you're heartbroken over a bad break up."
Now Jennie ever so subtly hid her face under her blanket, but Jimin took that as a sign of embarrassment and not out of laziness.
The observant fox smirked, "Ohhhh~ I see~" He bent down to be face level with her and pulled off her blanket to see her face covered by her hair.
"So you are heartbroken."
"Pft, no I'm not. Why would I be heartbroken over a relationship that was never there in the first place?" She turned her back on him.
"There was a relationship before things went bad for seemingly no reason. And I heard what he said to you... it's okay to admit you're hurt, Jennie."
He was met by silence but the slight shakiness of her body gave the sign that she was trying to hold back a sob. Jennie was vulnerable... and Jimin knew it.
"Come on, Jen, sulking isn't going to get you anywhere. I will drag you out if I have to, don't test me."
Jennie blew out a long sigh before sitting up straight. "Fine," she said and like a robot, she exited her room with Jimin following her. From the way she was speed walking and her cold, dead face, Jimin thinks he's seeing the female version of V: looking uncaring with a deadpan but the body language showed a killing intent. If V was the Ice King, then Jennie was the Ice Queen.
Huh, our plan should go well, Jimin thought, hearing Chim giggle mischievously. Jimin stopped in front of Jennie, "Before we head down to the Diamond, I need you to get something for me in my room."
"Why don't you get it yourself?"
"Because the direction to my room and the exit are opposites and I have to go set the course up. Therefore, you should get it for me." Jimin looked at Jennie dead in the eyes to show how serious he was.
"Ugh, fine, what is it?"
"It's a black notebook under my pillow. Check that it's the one with my evaluation notes. Meet me at the Gray Rock course."
Jennie groaned while pivoting around, "Ugghh fiiine. Be right there." In her head, she was complaining and whining how lazy and stupidly forgetful Jimin was today. A notebook with that much information? That was weird that he forgot it.
Reaching the boys' hallway, Jennie entered Jimin's room which was to the left of V's. She's never been in here, but she somehow expected a wall full of those intricate prank plans or at least some sneaky schemes like the Master Spy and Prankster he was. But it was actually pretty neat.
Jennie mentally scoffed at herself, Don't be ridiculous, Jen. Of course it won't look like those Hollywood movies. He's way more secretive than that.
She picked up the pillow on his bed and found the black notebook like instructed. She opened to check if it was the right one...
But instead found pencil sketches instead.
Jennie almost dropped the book in utter shock because of how realistic the drawing on the very first page was. She carefully hovered her finger over the outline of the tiger.
She furrowed her eyebrows in thought, Did Jimin draw V as a tiger?
Her left hand felt something on the cover of the notebook, and when she flipped it closed to see, she realized her fingers were feeling the carving of a "V" carved into the leather.
This time, Jennie did drop the book onto the bed and jumped back, "What the hell?" She could've sworn there was no carving when she first found it. She would've noticed something like that!
Gasping, she was worried that it folded the pages so she carefully picked it up and checked the pages again with shaky hands.
This was actually a sketchbook. But why would Jimin have V's sketchbook in his room?
Curiosity got the best of her and she decided a few peaks wouldn't hurt her.
What she found made her breath get caught in her throat and her head throbbed.
Each drawing was of simple scenes. Two children, a boy and a girl, playing with each other and having a good time. There was progression of them over the years, from toddlers to pre-teens. Jennie knew deep in her gut that they weren't just random children, she was certain that the boy was V when he was a child.
But the girl?
She didn't know.
Because in every drawing... she was faceless.
Jennie was fascinated at the intricate details that made the pencil sketches look like photographs. Some of the drawings even had captions that broke Jennie's heart because they sounded so mournful and longing yet beautiful.
Why so shy?? :) :) I remember this day I took you out on a "date". I wish you didn't hide your face but that's how I remembered it.
It was your 15th birthday... the wind didn't blow your hair in your face... rather... I remember you looking so angelic with your hair flying behind you. But sadly, I have to draw it like this because I don't remember what you look like... And if you ever see this, I hope you can appreciate my aesthetic effort by drawing your hair like this instead of faceless ;P :D
Jennie couldn't help but wonder... was it a chilly wind?
Oh V... what happened to you?
The more she looked, the more she questioned about V's past. Why did he draw these? Who's the girl? Is this really his childhood? Did something trigger these memories that made him upset lately?
Jennie was now becoming more aware that Glacia was growling and crying in distress, her poor soul animal was trying to tell her something but she didn't understand, just that she was feeling whatever her animal was feeling too. Why was her whole being - human and animal - so affected by this sketchbook?
Before Jennie could try to calm down, she heard the doorknob being turned. Expecting Jimin, she turned around only to slightly panic when she saw V instead.
The tired Master had just come home from his mission and did not appreciate an unexpected guest in his room. His eyes widened in the slightest panic, then rage started to build in his cold eyes. "What are you doing here?" He raised his voice, "Who said you could go into my room and look at my stuff?!"
Jennie frantically looked around and she thought she must've been dreaming but this was the reality. Her eyes must've been deceiving her before because she can swear up down left and right, from the Angel's heaven and back that she had entered Jimin's room. But in fact, she was in V's room... "I-I'm sorry! Jimin told me to get something from uh y-your room. I was just about to leave-"
"Then why is my book in your hands?" He didn't even give her a chance to explain. He snatched his precious sketchbook from Jennie's hands and literally shoved her out his door. "Now get out!"
Jennie almost fell to the ground with his force but caught herself, flinching as the door slammed behind her. No one was around to witness that, so she slid down the walls and let out a sob she didn't know she was holding back.
Why was V acting so damn cruel to her? V... I'm sorry... I'm sorry I'm sorry, she kept repeating in her head as Glacia silently sobbed with her.
She then remembered the whole reason why she got into this situation. Harshly wiping away her tears, she shifted to her snow leopard and sprinted out the building.
When Jennie got to the Gray Rock course, she didn't even care that Jimin was in the middle of teaching a lesson when she full-blown tackled him to the ground. They both went flying several meters, skidding across the bumpy, sharp gravel ground.
Jennie pinned Jimin down and growled loudly in his face, baring her fangs. The other trainees rushed to help their Master but he raised his hand to stop them, telling them to go home immediately.
But even when all witnesses were gone, Jennie's grip and deathly glare did not let up. Jimin held back a smirk, knowing to not provoke her now and spoke in a calm voice, "Do you want to hear me out before you kill me?"
Jennie roared and hissed again before she shifted back. Without wasting a second, she screamed out, "What did you do to me?! What trap did you set me up for?!"
Jimin struggled to stand up with his bruised and scratched back, but he scoffed through his pain, "Calling it a trap makes me sound like the bad guy trying to ruin you two-"
Jennie's hand shot out to clench Jimin's throat, her elongated nails digging into his skin, "You better drop that stuck-up, bitch-ass, sly fox tone of yours because I'm running out of patience. Now explain the truth as it is."
But the Fox Shifter's arrogance was too great, even when he was choking for air. "Ah, but... if you kill me, you would be e-expelled... no... executed... a-and you'll never see V again."
Jennie viciously shook his head back and forth a few times and tightened her grip, moving her nails to pierce a scratch into his skin. "Not that he would care because he hates me more now because of you. Now fucking explain!!"
"A-Alright!" Jimin's hands flew up to try to pry the claws off. "I-I'll tell you the truth." Jennie loosened her grip only just enough to let him breathe and talk better. "My Gift of Illusion Eyes, if you hold eye contact with me and my eyes flash a different color, you fell into my illusion dimension." Jennie could not recall seeing Jimin's eyes then a different color. "The eye flash happens as fast as a blink, you're not supposed to notice, or if you did, you forget about it.
"It's like hypnotizing you to see something but you don't notice a thing. I made you see the illusion that you entered my room and its interior because I know you've been in V's room before. But every physical object that's in there is still the same, you just don't see it because of the illusion."
With each word, Jennie wanted to choke Jimin right then and there because of how he used her. But she held herself back in order to get more information.
"The illusion wore off as soon as you felt the carving of the book cover, everything around you would've gone back to its reality, but I'm guessing you didn't look up to realize in time before V came in."
"Why?" Jennie felt her voice about to break into another sob but she held it in. "Why do this to me?"
"The sketchbook," he answered simply with a shrug.
The mention of it caused images of the drawings to flash before her eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut, she didn't want to think about them right now because they invoked too many emotions in her. She wasn't ready to figure them out yet. She had to figure out this fox first.
"You also must've known how important and personal it is to him," Jennie argued, "so why risk your friendship with him and mine and his deteriorating one?"
"Keyword: deteriorating. Some things just have to break down completely to rebuild itself. Some people just have to break down completely to rebuild themselves."
Jennie shoved him harshly to the ground, not wanting the shifter with a disgusting and insensitive reasoning to be near her. "I don't know exactly what you're trying to do, but it's inconsiderably cruel and revolting."
Jimin took those harsh insults with a bitter laugh, "Is that how you think I am?"
Jennie fired back with a question, "Are you really trying to help?"
"Yes," he answered with so much conviction that it took Jennie aback. "You don't understand, this may all sound twisted to you but I'm doing this for V's sake, and frankly, yours too."
Jennie cried out in frustration and confusion, "What does that even mean?!"
She didn't expect Jimin to look just as frustrated as he stood up quickly and stomped to her. "The sketchbook, Jennie! How did it make you feel?"
Again, the faceless little girl playing with the little boy flashed in her mind. Jennie squeezed her eyes shut again and held her face in her hands. "S-stop... Stop. I don't know what you want me to understand."
"I already have enough of V hiding his true feelings and thoughts about this. I don't need another stubborn cat to do the same." Jimin held her shoulders and spoke with encouragement, "Now would be a good time to acknowledge the feelings those drawings invoked in you. How did it make you feel?"
Jennie was now crying in her hands and Glacia was crying as well, not just for its Master, because in reaction to the images. "I feel... sad...devastated for him... because I know how it feels to miss someone you don't even remember... When I was looking through the d-drawings... I realized they were actually... his memories... I-I think there's something about V that's so... so similar to me that it's... terrifying."
Jimin nodded and urged her to continue, "It's okay. How is it similar?"
Jennie didn't think that the first person she'll share her biggest secret to would be freakin' Park Jimin, untrustworthy and devious in her eyes but he was the first person to notice. Even though he did a twisted illusion trick to get it out of her, he still noticed. And maybe... telling him will get her closer to figuring V out.
With a deep breath, Jennie revealed her secret. "I don't remember the first fifteen years of my life. I woke up in an old woman's cottage here in Korea and then she adopted me, became my grandma figure and we moved to New Zealand. But every now and then, I'll get random, short flashbacks of my early life. They never make any sense when pieced together. But when I came here and then joined the Academy... I got... more flashbacks."
She let out a nostalgic breath of laughter and blinked back her tears. "They weren't really often, and I never mentioned it to anyone. I learned to control my flashback episodes so that people don't suspect anything. But when I looked at the s-sketchbook... not only were those images overwhelming... but they also triggered my flashbacks... it's too much to bear."
"Jennie," Jimin rubbed her shoulders in comfort. "I know it's hard, but you need to talk this out loud so you can admit it to yourself that all of this means something significant. It won't do you good to keep them in. Now... what did you see?"
This time when an image of the childhood friends came into mind, Jennie tried to hold on it and the longing feeling was back and strong as ever. "I always see a little girl and a boy..." a tear slipped down her cheek. "I never see their faces... but I know it's the same ones every time... I don't know who they are... maybe it's younger me and my long lost childhood friend..."
She unconsciously squeezed her hands together like in the image she was seeing in her head of the boy and girl holding hands.
"They're always playing... and they look so... so happy." The loneliness and pain were growing deeper in her heart. "And I'm always hoping that that little girl I see is actually me... but..." Jennie trailed off, unsure of herself.
She looked to Jimin for help but he was silent, waiting for her to say her next words.
"Who is that boy? ...
Where is he now? ...
What happened to him? ...
What happened to ... us... ?"
Jimin gulped, this was the part of his plan that he did not figure out yet because he couldn't predict how Jennie would react. But he knew she was smart. He knew that given the right push, she'll figure it out.
But this is as far as he goes with his ability to help her directly.
"You're asking the right questions, Jennie." Her eyes widened with hope from his words. But she hoped too much. "Unfortunately... I'm not the one who can answer those questions."
Jennie's heart plummeted and she just wanted to give up. To forget all of this confusing shit. Leave the past in the past. Try to just focus on fixing the present, which was fixing V.
V...
But... if her instincts were right... meaning her human and animal instincts...
A part of her, the scared part, wants to deny it because even if they coincidences were too much and too great, they're probably just coincidences.
But Glacia has been crying restlessly in distress this entire time. Jennie just knew she couldn't push this theory aside any longer.
"Then V is the one who can answer my questions."
******
Jennie KNOWS!!! (but with a little uncertainty)
I hope I explained Jimin's Gift of Illusion Eyes well enough. So comment a question here and I can clarify.
On another note...
ABOUT "KILL THIS LOVE"
CAN. WE. JUST. LOVE. OUR. QUEENS. COMEBACK!!
KILLER VISUALS
KILLER VOCALS
KILLER RAP
KILLER QUEENS
THEY NEVER DISAPPOINT
aaaaand I got inspo from the entire music video and song :)