A few hours later I was sitting in front of a now picturesque canvas in my room. I had been painting to get my mind off of everything, and this was a perfect outlet.
When I decided to stop painting for the night I couldn't help but feel the intensity of the quietness around me.
I was used to hearing the subtle noises from outside my window. People passing by, cars and trucks zooming by, brief shouts across the street. Feeling the movements outside made me feel like I wasn't alone. Here, there was silence. It was heavy.
I decided to have a late shower before bed. There was one in my room, of course. I didn't need to go out into Ravenwolf more than I had to.
I let the pressure from the shower head rush over my shoulders. I took in the heat. Took it all in until it felt like I was burning my body.
I exited the shower, feeling heat escape from behind me. I changed into my pajamas and then jumped into my soft, King size bed. It felt like I was about to float into a cloud and disappear. It must have been seconds before I fell asleep.
*
In the morning, I went to the kitchen to have some breakfast. It was earlier than most of them got up. I was there for 6:30 am. Edna, who started her day around 7, was upset that I didn't wait for her to serve me my meal. I assured her that at the very least, I could pour cereal for myself. To mend this broken promise, I politely asked for her to make me tea for my tumbler.
I would be heading out to work in another hour, and she complied. I decided to sit in the meditation room for a bit and after I did, I found my way back into the foyer to go gather my bags. When I did, Kai was already there. Nathan was standing beside him.
"You're up early today Hazel," I nodded, and Kai barely looked at me.
"Did you enjoy your breakfast?"
"Thanks to Edna, I did... you're heading out early?"
"Yes, there is a board meeting, and a call at-"
"She doesn't need to know our itinerary for the day, Nathan" it stung to hear what Kai had to say even if it was true.
"Very well... but she is, after all, currently an heir to the business" Kai looked at Nathan, who was now unpleasantly reminded about who was 'in power.'
"If you'll excuse me sir, I'll be waiting for you in the car," Nathan said, while leaving. Kai was finishing putting his shoes on. I walked by him, thinking about how the silence between me and this family was blaring...
*
Some more days passed at Ravenwolf and I began to adapt to my surroundings.
I hadn't made any connections with a single member in this family except for Mackenzie. I was treated like the plague. Infected person: much be avoided at all costs. Or worse, may I was just invisible. I'd like to think I could absorb into the walls, or stand naked in the middle of the house, and I'd be mistaken for a statue or be completely ignored.
I knew who I spoke to (because they would respond back to me): Edna and Mackenzie were the only people, aside from Nathan, who gave me the time of day. I also went back and forth from work. So it didn't feel like my lifestyle had changed. It just felt I had upgraded my living situation like you would a new, bougie cell phone, once your plan was up (that seemed like a stretch, but if was the only thing I could compare it to).
I went back to the mansion and ate my meals in my room. I started new artwork in my room, read books in my room, and slept in my room. I hardly ventured out anymore.
Anytime I spoke with Rae at work, she reminded me about how 'different,' or more 'lifeless,' I looked. I denied it to no end. I told her it was because my iron levels were low, or that I was working on a spell bounding piece that kept me up late at night and napping at inconsistent times. She seemed to buy it for a while, but I wondered how long that would last.
The more I tried interacting with the Ravenwolf sons, the more rejected I was. It was like one of those awkward coming of age stories when the cliche nerdy kid tried waving at the 'popular' kid in the hallway and was treated no more than a speck of dust floating by.
I seldom saw Jackson. He was living his best filthy rich life on a jet. Last I heard, he was in Bali.
James always pretended to be inspecting or cleaning his glasses whenever he walked past me. As though gluing himself to a tedious, but detail-oriented task was more important than making eye contact or small talk with me.
Kai was just impossible to begin with. He looked at me with a kind of hate you could imagine someone may have for a lifelong enemy.
I would say that Charlie didn't give me the time of day because he didn't care for me, but I think he didn't care for anyone in this house. Or maybe he did, but I wasn't able to tell because I never saw him.
I needed to do something before I lost the reason why I was here in the first place.
I was losing more motivation each day. Before I knew it, I became what I feared I would be. Slightly more apathetic each day... one day when I was staring at myself in the mirror, I told myself that I needed to move onto Plan B. Daring, but necessary...