"Hey, are you okay?" Stephanie asks me in the dressing room.
"I'm fine," I say before putting on my lab coat and leaving.
Chief Hunt assigns us to an attending, and just my luck, I got Peds. I drag my feet as I walk to the elevator. I press the fourth floor and blow raspberries as the elevator door closes.
Alex does a double take once he sees me walking towards him.
"Hey," He says.
"Do you need me to do your rounds?" I ask.
"Yeah, sure. But are you sure that you don't want—"
"No, I think I can handle it. If not, then I'll page you." I interrupt.
He hands me to clipboards and descend to the first patient that I need to check on.
"Hey is everything okay with you two?" Arizona asks.
Alex sighs before saying:
"Yeah, we're fine."
Once I finish Alex's rounds, I go up to the NICU to see the premature babies and the sick ones. I put on the pink cover and tie it behind my back.
There was one premmy that caught my eye. Her name is Annie and she suffers from a weak kidney and liver function. Her heart shatters into a million pieces as I approach her.
"How can someone so small suffer from something so painful? You barely even started your life yet." I say to her.
I sit in the chair next to her and examine her small body. Her chest rose and fell at a faster pace, which is normal I guess since she's was born a couple days ago.
Then all of a sudden, her vitals started to increase too much for her small little body to handle.
"Nurse!" I call.
A nurse comes running in and open the incubator. She looks me and says:
"Page Karev,"
I nod and do so. Within five minute, Alex came and asks:
"What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything, I was just sitting down, talking to her. Is that such a crime?" I snap.
"No.. there's nothing wrong with that.. it's just. The premmies here are in bad shape and I didn't want you here to get too attached to them when they're barely holding on." He explains.
The monitor still continue to beep and Alex stands there with his hands on his hips.
"What are you doing just standing here?" I ask.
"Her parents signed a DNR.. they knew she wasn't going to make it, and they didn't want her to suffer." He says, closing the incubators.
"So they just left her here all alone? What kind of parents do that? What kind of mother does that?" I say.
"Did you enforce this?" I add.
"What?"
"Did you enforce them to sign the DNR?" I repeat.
"No of course not! They signed that on their own. You think that I'm some type of monster, huh? You think that because I don't want any kids of my own that I want to just stand here and watch as this little girl dies?" He snaps.
"No, that's not that I'm saying.. I'm...I'm sorry, I can't just sit around and do nothing." I say apologetically.
"Well there's nothing more we can do.." He says.
He motions me to go with him and I glance back at Annie. Then an idea popped up in my mind; I've seen a few studies that show that if you give a baby physical contact with you, that their state will become better. It doesn't always work, but it's worth a shot. I'm not going to give up on her like her parents did.
I pull off my pink cover before I take off my lab coat and stethoscope.
"What are you doing?" Alex asks.
When I don't respond, he calls my name. I pull my shirt up over my head and open the incubator.
"Shamira, what are you doing?" Alex says.
I take Annie into my arms and place her on my chest. I silently pray that her vitals will level out as I smoothly sway side to side. Annie whined a little and I shush her slightly. I have one hand on her back and my other hand on her head.
"Please work, please work, please work." I say under my breath.
"Shamira," He says, pressing a hand on my shoulder.
I still continue to look at the monitor with hope.
"You did everything you could.. I'll have a nurse call t.." he trailed off when her vitals went back to normal.
I sigh in relief and a wave of claps came from the nurses that came into the room. I see Arizona clapping as well and Alex pulls up a rocking chair for me to sit in.
"Alright, show's over. Give us a moment alone, please." Alex says.
When every one files out of the room, he crouches down in front of me.
"So.. how long are you going to hold baby Annie?" He asks.
"However long it takes." I say.
He nods and says:
"Look.. there's nothing wrong with you. You're perfect. There's no one in the world that I could ever imagine having kids with.. But I just don't see myself have kids right now."
"I know... I understand. We're at different stages in our lives and we should respect one another for that. I was a hothead when I shouldn't have been. I'm sorry." I apologized in a soft voice, trying not to disturb Annie.
"Do you want to know what i am ready for?" He asks.
"What?"
"For you to be my wife." He says.
My heart raced at his words and a wide smile crept onto my face.
"I wanted to ask later on tonight. But after what happened this morning, I didn't think that you would say yes. You don't have to answer right now, but I just wanted to get that off of my chest." He says.
He stands up and walks to the door. He was going to walk out until I say:
"Yes,"
"What was that?"
"Yes. Yes, I will marry you." I clarify.
He looks at me for a while before approaching me and presses a tender kiss on my lips.
"Oh thank God," he says while pulling away.
"And maybe we'll try to have kids." He adds.
"Really?" I say.
He nods and I add:
"As much as I would like to jump into your arms and kiss you right now, I should probably stay here with Annie."
"It's okay... we have plenty of time for that when you get home." He says.
"Alex, they're children here!" I whisper.
"They don't understand anything, they'll be fine." He says before pecking me on the lips again.
"I love you," He says.
"I love you more," I say.
"Impossible," He says before leaving the NICU.
A small smile spreads on my lips as I stare down at Annie.
"I just got engaged. Yes I did, yes I did." I say in a baby voice.