Grey's Anatomy Imagines {CLOSED}

Why Me? (3/3)

I sniffle as I pull a chair next to Mom's bed.

"Y/F/N, you went all Momma Bear on the Momma. It doesn't work like that, sweetie." She states.

I notice her tears stained cheeks, and I hold her delicate, strained hand in mine. I chuckle slightly and press a kiss on the back of her hand.

"I love you Mommy." I say.

"I love you too."

**

Mom asked me to get her a cup of French Vanilla coffee. I complied and when I walk back to the room, I see Bailey and a room full of nurses in Mom's room. My smile drops from my face and I drop both the French Vanilla coffee and the mocha latte. A breath hitches in my throat as I hear Bailey say:

"She's asystole."

They all just stand there and I say:

"Why the hell are you just standing there? Recessitate her!"

"We can't! She signed a D.N.R.!" Bailey says.

"Wh-what?" I say softly.

Tears stream down my cheeks and I slowly walk to my Mom. The life has completely drained from her eyes and her face. I close her eyes with my hands and rest my forehead on hers.

"D-do... do you want to call it, Dr. Y/L/N?" Bailey asks me.

"Time of death: 3:05 pm." I say with a strained voice.

I press a final kiss on her forehead before sprinting to the resident's dressing room. I find a corner and I slide down the wall. I tuck my knees against my chest and rest my knees on my arms. Memories of my life, ever since I was born, flooded through my head.

From my the thug who shot my parents. To the abusive foster family... She was the only parental figure I've got.. and I just lost her.

"Y/N? A-are you okay?" Cristina states as she walks into the dressing room.

I don't respond.

She sit down next to me and I wince as she tries to touch me. She takes the hint and moves her hand away, but she still tries to talk to me.

"I heard about your mother... I-I'm so sorry. I know what it was like to lose a parent, it's the worse feeling in the world.. You feel like you failed them, because you didn't try everything that you could." She states.

"And I also know that grieving is a long, painful process.. but don't push everyone away. I know the disadvantages of that, first hand... And it is not a good feeling." She adds.

Once she realize that I still wasn't going to say anything, she left. Meredith, Alex, Mark, Callie, Derek and Chief Webber tried to make me talk, but they still didn't make me budge.

So here I am, still sitting in the resident's changing room, at two in the morning. There were only two people left to try to persuade me: Bailey and Owen. My two best friends from different points in my life...

"Y/N, you've been in that same spot for twelve hours. You haven't spoken, eaten and sport for twelve hours. This isn't healthy. Living a life of guilt and grief isn't healthy.." Owen states.

"Blaming yourself for your Mom's death, isn't healthy. I love you, and I care about your wellbeing.. You can't blame yourself for the bad things that happened to you.. Bad things happen to amazing people, and that's a sad reality.. I know but please, don't let it consume you." He adds.

I sniffle and sobs escape my mouth. He turns my face so I will look at him. He rests his forehead against mine and my body shakes with every one of my sobs.

He shushes me as he rubs circles on my back, in attempt to soothe me.

"Come here, I got you." He states as he lifts my body into his arms.

I subconsciously wrap my arms around his neck and rest my forehead against his chin.

"It's all my fault." I finally say.

"No, it's really not." He says before he presses a kiss to my forehead.

"Why... why did it have to be me?" I ask.

"I have no idea." He states.

"Come on, lets take you home." He adds as he walks out of the dressing room with me in his arms.