Grey's Anatomy Imagines {CLOSED}

Alex's Best Friend (2/3)

He releases a shaky breath before he says:

"I killed a man today."

"What?" I say.

"Not physically killed, I made a math mistake and it caused a man's brain to dehydrate. He died soon after." He elaborates.

"I'm sorry Al..." I say.

"And there is a hole that I can't fill because of it.. I am guilty for killing that man. It's just, He was crashing and I had to think quick on my feet. I thought too quick and it cost as man's life." He adds.

"There is no one on this Earth who is perfect. No one. And everyone makes mistakes. Some worse than others but there is such a thing as redemption." I say.

"How can I redeem myself to killing that man?" He asks.

His chocolate orbs meet mine and I say:

"How could I redeem myself after almost killing Bill?"

"You did it out of self defense. And for protect my skinny little ass back in high school." He says.

"That doesn't change the fact I was one punch away from making Bill leave this Earth. And back than, I had the worst temper- I mean I still do- but it is not as bad as before." I say.

"That's beside the point. My point is, if I can redeem myself to Bill's family. Then you can definitely redeem yourself for killing that man. Now, I'm not saying it's easy and that it will happen in day... but it is possible." I add.

He nods and says:

"Where do I start?"

"You can start be accepting what happened.. and forgiving yourself what happened." I say.

There was a silence until I say:

"Now, about that syphillis."

A laugh emitted from his mouth, but it turned into a cry.

"Alex." I say softly.

His chest shook as he cries. I stand up from my chair and sat next to him. I softly examine his facial features until he gained the courage to look at me.

"I'm sorry. I feel like the wimp I was back in high school." He admits.

"Alex, you and I both know that you are not the same person you were in high school. You're better, it doesn't matter what that blonde or anybody else says. Because you will always have one person in your corner. One person who will defend you when you can't defend yourself. And guess who that person is?" I say.

He looks up at me and a point a finger at myself.

"Me." I say.

"So what triggered this episode?" I ask as rub circles on his back.

"Because I'm a failure, that's why. I failed my board exams when everybody passed there's. Do you know how embarrassing that is? Being the only one who failed the basic exam for interns?" He says.

"And on top of that, I can't do anything right anymore! I always let my emotions, snarky comments or dumbness get in the walk and it could cost someone else's life. I'm not fast enough. If I was faster, I could have saved that woman's life. But I wasn't fast enough! If I was there a couple of seconds before, she could still be alive."

"I have so much losses that I completely forgot the time when I had a win. How sad it that?" He asks.

"It's a part of life to lose, Alex. But you listen to me very carefully when I say: you are not a failure. You hear me? You're not a failure. You have earned the right to be one of those interned like everybody else. So what if everyone else passed. It's not about them, it's about you. It always been about you, Alex..." I trail off.

I finally realize what actually triggered this episode.

"I was that blonde chick wasn't it? You were starting to fall for her, weren't you?" I ask.

Alex leaned his head into his hands and continue to cry. I scoot over and rest my chin on his shoulder. My forehead rests on the side of his face and I continued to rub his back as he cried.

"She said I wasn't good enough for her." He states.

"What?"

"She doesn't understand me like you do. She doesn't get that I am actually a great guy, I'm just..." He trails.

"You're flawed. Guess what? So am I. And so is that blondey." I say.

"Izzie. Her name is Izzie." He says.

"Her and I started out good, but then I couldn't... I couldn't get it up and I thought something what was wrong with me. So I um...." He adds.

"You cheated on her, didn't you?" I ask.

He nods his head and he says:

"It took forever to her to forgive me. But she was using me for sex. Not that I was complaining, but I wanted something more. I didn't tell her that, but the more we had sex. The more I grew feelings for her. I let myself grow feelings for her and I got jealous."

"I got jealous and she ended up leaving me for a heart patient..." He adds.

"What! Isn't that against protocol or something?" I ask.

He nods and says:

"But I'm not a snitch, so I'm not going to be the one to let tell the Chief."

I pulled him in for a hug and say:

"Correction: you are too good for her. She's the one that missed on the great morning breakfast you make."

I hear him chuckle and he nuzzles his face into my neck.

"I love you Y/N." He says.

"I love you too, Alex." I say.