Y/N POV.
I leaned against the door and took a shaky breath as it took everything in me not to throw and break everything. I walked outside to the balcony and leaned against the wall slowly sliding down to sit. The tears were dangerously close from falling from my eyes but I tried not to let it. We were together for three years and those three years weren't easy. She fucked around with my heart to the point where I turned into someone I didn't want to be. A player
I looked back at those times in a moment like this. A moment where I feel like nothing matters anymore...everything is just numb and I feel like maybe this wasn't supposed to be my life. I suddenly thought about how my life would be without Kendall and I think I'd be better....maybe if I didn't meet her my feelings wouldn't be so fucked up.
I looked up at looked at the sky. It was dark and the clouds seemed to block all the stars in the sky. The clouds were dark and you could hear the loud boom from the sky indicating that it was about to pour. This seemed to match my mood. Dark. Gloomy. The dark clouds blocking the light from the moon and twinkle from the stars.... but maybe its better if the clouds block the moon and stars from shining down on us because that light may end up reveling the things that should be hidden and should stay hidden.
I looked up at the sky and closed my eyes a little trying to block all the thoughts in my mind. All I could do was picture her with him in my house. It hurts. Its feels like your whole world is crashing down and as much as you want to fix it...you just stand there and watch it fall apart. You watch as everything you once cared about slowly disappear and then your left with the one thing you dreaded most. The only thing that could make you feel like you've actually lost everything and everyone. Loneliness.
I've been alone before, I've had people that I care about chose someone else over me and you know what, it sucks. Its sucks having be to the one that's broken all time. Forgotten. That's what you are forgotten. You can give someone your everything and literally give them all of you and in return they give you none of them. Only say they do meanwhile they're destroying you slowly and you don't even know. You don't even know it cause you're so stupidly in love with them....and that right there is your mistake. A mistake that can hurt your heart more then any sickness, disease or death ever will.
I looked up and closed my eyes as I felt the rain drops on my face making me sigh a little. It started to pour making me look down and open my eyes and see everyone running for shelter. I ran my hands through my soaked hair and put my head against the wall and closed my eyes once again not caring of there was loud thunder coming from the sky. I could hear someone calling my name making me shrug it off since it was probably in my imagination but it seems that I was wrong.
Emily:"What the hell! Y/n!"She yelled opening the sliding door and getting down to my height"What are you doing out here?"She asked cupping my face making me look down"Come on...lets go inside"She said helping me up.
She helped me up and get inside the house which was a lot warmer then outside. I looked at her and noticed that she was soaked. She walked over to the door and closed it drawing the curtains and turning the lights on in the apartment. I just stood still and watched her as she moved around. She walked over to me and cupped my face making me look at her. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to tell her what happened but I couldn't.
Emily:"You need to shower....come on"She said taking my hand and leading me to the shower. After our shower I sat on the bed and looked at ground still processing everything that happened earlier.
Y/n:"It hurts...."I croaked out making her look at me and frown. She walked over to me going on her knees and lifting my face up.
Emily:"What did she do to you Y/n?"She asked making me put my face in my hands.
Y/n:"I-I don't know...."I said making her hug me. She kissed the side of my head and drew small circles on my back trying to calm me down. I wasn't crying and even if I wanted to....I don't think I can.
Emily:"Come on...lets get some sleep"She said pulling away making me nod and get in bed laying down. She got under the covers and as soon as she did I pulled her closer to me.
Y/n:"I'm sorry for crashing here and bringing all my drama along with me"I said looking at her making her kiss my cheek and give me a small smile.
Emily:"Y/n its okay"She said making me sigh and nod. I put my face in her neck and kissed it making her giggle a little"It tickles"She mumbled making me smile a little.
Y/n:"Night Em..."I mumbled making her kiss my head and sigh a little.
Emily:"Night Y/n/n"She mumbled making me close my eyes and let sleep takeover.
I woke up to a phone going off making me groan a little. I felt Emily move making me groan more and hide my head under the pillow wanting to sleep for the rest of my life and not wake up. Everyone can dream right....
Emily:"Hey....uh okay"She said. I felt her remove the pillow making me look at her and open my eyes slightly"Uh its Kendall's sisters"She said making me look at her wide eyed.
Y/n:"Her sisters?"I asked making sure I heard correctly making her nod. I took the phone away from her and got up from the bed and walked outside to her balcony"Hey..."I said making someone sigh.
Kim:"Thank god!"
Khloe:"We tried calling you over twenty fucking times!"
Kourtney:"And you didn't answer! We thought something happened to you"She said making me sigh and lean against the railing.
Y/n:"I don't really want to talk to anyone"I said looking at the ground.
Kim:"Y/n you need to talk to us so-"
Y/n:"Kimmy..."I said cutting her off making them go quite over the phone"I love you all like family but I need time away from you'll.... From everyone actually"I said.
Khloe:"But Y/n-"
Y/n:"I really do love you all but I need space and every time I hear you I think of her and I don't want that...I just can't. Goodbye girls. Thanks for always be in there for me when I needed. Love you girls"I said before hanging up.
I took a deep breathe and turned around to see the busy city of New York. Today was still a little dark and gloomy which matched my mood perfectly. I felt someone wrap their arms around me and kiss my cheek making me turn around and face her.
Emily:"Need a distraction?"She asked as her fingertips went down my chest making me smile at her.
Y/n:"You have no idea"I mumbled before connecting our lips. I know this is wrong but maybe it'll help me get over her.
Just maybe.....
One Week Later....
I've been in New York from the time of the Met Gala and I wasn't looking forward to going back but I had no choice in the matter. I had to go back and face my problems one way or another and sadly today was the day. I've been with Emily from that time and its been great, she's there for me when I have my down days and she's just an amazing support system. If you get what I mean.....
Emily:"Do you have to go?"She asked between kisses making me pull away chuckle.
Y/n:"Yes sadly...I have to face them sooner or later love"I said running my fingers through her hair making her pout a little. I kissed her pout making her smile slightly.
Emily:"You really know how to make a girl feel special.... Even if its for a week or so"She said making me chuckle a little and shrug.
Y/n:"Well I'm glad I did..."I said making her smile at me"Emily I'm really sorry I can't make this more...I'm sorry I can't commit to you"I said frowning a little making her peck my lips and pull away a little.
Emily:"Y/n its okay...Really it is. You and I just went through a break up and in all honesty I don't want something serious right now"She said trying to reassure me"Plus I'm sure we had way to much fun"She said kissing my lips again making me smile and kiss back.
We spent another half an hour or so kissing until she had drive me to the airport since I had my cars flown to L.A. She drove me to the airport making me hop out the car and grab my bags. We pushed past paparazzi to the gates making me give them my luggage to put it in the plane.
Emily:"Bye Y/n/n"She said pulling me into a bone crushing hug making me stumble back a little. I chuckle and wrapped my arms around her waist and lifted her up a little making her wrap her legs around my waist.
Y/n:"I really don't want to go...."I mumbled into her neck making her kiss my head.
Emily:"I really don't want you to go...."She said making me pull away and look at her and sigh.
Y/n:"I'll text and call whenever I can"I said making her smile and nod.
Emily:"You better..."She said making me chuckle and kiss her nose"Maybe just one more..."She said making me go to kiss her nose again but only to be met by her lips making me smile. She cupped my face and bit my bottom lip making me moan a little once I pulled away.
Y/n:"You're making it harder for me to leave...."I said making her smirk and ghost her lips over mine.
Emily:"As long as nothing else is hard I'm sure you will be okay"She said making me laugh as she giggled. I gave her one final kiss before I put her down and pulled away.
Y/n:"Bye Em...thanks for dealing with me and being there for me"I said making her smile and kiss my cheek.
Emily:"No sweat Y/l/n....I'll text you"She said making me smile and walk towards my plane.
Y/n:"I'll be waiting"I said turning around to face her making her blush a little and nod. I waited for her to walk back to her car and then got into the plane.
Once I got into the plane I felt lonely again. I felt reality settle in and it was scary to be honest. I didn't want to go back to L.A and face them. They all are everywhere I go and the internet doesn't really help with it. The plane took off making me look out the window and think about what awaits me back in L.A.
I made a vow to myself a few days ago and I was going to live by it. I need to get all my things out off her house along with everything that's connected to her. I don't want to have anything to do with her....and my vow is that to be the person everyone said I shouldn't be and I didn't want to be that person cause it would hurt her. Kendall. I thought it would hurt her but I'm not worried anymore.
Welcome back to the player lifestyle Y/l/n.....welcome back.
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