(no editing at all, i'll edit this laterrr)
Corey's P.O.V (Duh *SOBS*)
***
"You're so stupid, Corey." Rowan smiled cutely.
We were on our roof and I was goofing around with her, just to get her to laugh. I love her laugh.
"Why thank you, I try to act more like you these days." I teased.
She scoffed and hit my arm, but she was laughing. Until the laughing turned into hacking and coughing. Rowan was coughing up blood and black stuff and just things that are unhuman. I couldn't help because for some reason I was frozen in place.
"C-Corey, help me!" Rowan gurgled through coughs.
I could see Rowan's breather right next to me. But I still couldn't move. When I tried I got a shock so hard I fell right back in place. But after Rowan LITERALLY coughed up an organ, I finally just took all the pain and reached for the tank but it was too late. She faded from my vision as my eyes filled with tears.
"ROWAN!"
***
I sat up, gasping and wheezing and apparently crying. I could still feel the shocks and hear Rowan's "coughs" which was clearing someone knocking on my door. I looked at the clock as I gulped for air. 2: 00 AM.
"Um...Come in." I choked out.
The door opened and Princess was standing there. Well she and Cowan were. They both look like they hadn't gotten any sleep and were crying instead. I'd rather that than the on and off nightmares I keep having.
"D-Dad? Um...can I....we...talk for a little?" Cowan asked.
I wiped my eyes and sighed.
"Yeah, of course. Turn on the light--"
Princess scrambled to flip on the light switch. Like she was terrified. Maybe she's afraid of the dark. She and Cowan crawled into the bed and I furrowed my eyebrows.
"What did you wanna talk about?" I asked.
"Mom..."
I would've immediately told them to go back to their beds because I didn't wanna hear about Rowan but it was Princess who said that. She called Rowan, "mom".
"S-Since when do you call her mom?" I asked.
"Too late, apparently." Princess squeaked.
She started crying and like some freaky parental reflex I've developed I hugged her into me. Cowan curled into me.
"I had a nightmare. I dreamed I was sent back to the orphanage and you didn't want me because I reminded you too much about Mom. And then when I looked in the mirror my face was morphing into Mom's. You just left me there...You'll never leave me right?" Cowan asked worriedly.
"Won't ever even cross my mind." I promised.
"I didn't get any sleep at all. I just kept thinking mom was somwhere in my room and whenever I turned on the light it's like I couldn't see her, but I knew she was there. She's still here, Dad. That shouldn't scare me but it does--it's not comforting." Princess sniffed, wiping her eyes.
"I'm right here...that's going to have to be enough for a while." I breathed.
"Dad, how come you're so calm? Aren't you having any nightmares or freaky experiences? She was your wife..." Cowan pointed out.
"I feel terrible. Completely destroyed. I've watched Rowan die 50 different ways in my nightmares and in all of them I could've saved her. I've cried more this past day than I have my entire life. But It's just my job to protect you guys, and I can't do that if I'm crying my heart out."
"Dad..." Princess breathed.
"Yeah, sweetie?" I replied.
She shook her head.
"Why did you love, Rowan? Really. None of the sappy stuff--hard cold fact." She asked out of the blue.
I thought about it. I thought about it for a bit longer than I usually had to. Cowan played with my fingers and Princess took the liberty of going under the blankets with me. After what felt like forever I looked at Princess.
"It was her eyes." I finally concluded.
While Cowan seemed confused, Princess smiled and nodded.
"Yah...that was it for me too." She whispered.
I looked at her and pecked her forehead. I did the same for Cowan and sighed.
"Let's get some sleep. We've got a lot of long days ahead of us." I spoke.
But before I was done, Cowan and Princess were already nodding away. I made a promise to myself at that moment. I promised that from now on, everyday of my life, I'd make sure they know I love them. Because as we all just learned...one day either they or I won't be able to do that anymore.
~~
I woke up extra early today, around 4 am. Not because of nightmare, but rather because Sabrina texted me.
***
That Famous One (Sis) -- Be at your place by 5 to watch the kids. Take a jog or something. <3
Me-- I'll go out for coffee and probably announce to the fans.
That Famous One (Sis)-- How are the teens doing?
Me-- They're fine. Just a few nightmares.
That Famous One (Sis)-- Great. You?
Me-- ...could be better but could be MUCH worse
That Famous One (Sis)-- that's progress. Love you, Cor.
Me-- Love you too, Sab.
***
So, after tucking in Cowan and Princess and brushing my teeth, I pulled on a T-shirt and went outside. The air was crisp and cool because of how early it was, and I watched my breaths make clouds in the sky.
I went back inside and jogged up the stairs, into Rowan's study. The room felt sacred and I didn't want to disrupt anything but I needed someting...
I spotted it and went over to it, picking it up and using my thumb to graze over it. I haven't held this camera in years. Rowan's lipstick was on the side and I took comfort in that, putting it around my neck with the strap and heading downstairs.
Going back outside, I noticed how bright everything was. I looked down at the camera and could almost feel Rowan's supportive hand on my shoulder.
"Oh come on," She'd say, "What are you scared off?"
"Smudging the lipstick." I'd probably joke.
She'd smile. She smiled. She is smiling at me. I could almost feel it as I glanced upward. I took in the gorgeous sight of Row's smile. The gorgeous sight of the pale sun barely hidden by clouds. I let out a small breath and lifted the camera to the sky, letting the flash bring everything to white--
An hour later, I was still taking pictures of Rowan. Rowan's hair in the lavenders that grew in our neighbors garden. Row's smile in the sun and her eyes in puddles on the ground. I wanted to capture her laugh on camera so I ended up taking a small video of children riding their bikes to school, the wheels squeaking in harmony. I wanted Row's giggle next and so a recording of birds chirping followed.
It was only when I reached Row's love...that's when I finally reached the cafe. When I took the picture of that huge tree in front, that has been there since my grandparents were kids. It's an old tree but it's absolutely magnificent.
I hadn't brought my wallet or really anything but I was getting chilly so I headed into the warm cafe anyway. I leaned against a wall, clicking through all the pictures and came across the picture of the reflection of our house in a puddle. Row's eyes.
"I like that one!" Row giggled in my head.
Her giggle echoed in my head and I could almost see her brown hair whip as she turned her head to me. Or as she would've.
"Yah, I like that one too..." I sighed.
I took out the portable chip of the camera and had my phone scan it, then in the caption for the pictures I wrote:
Words cannot express how broken and destroyed I am at the death of @rowanblanchard but hey, I found a few pictures of her for us to cherish.
R.I.P Wife, Mother, Lover, Friend...
Then I attached the video of the birds chirping and the children laughing underneath the pictures. As I hit 'post' I heard about...seventeen dings. Two of them coming from the bench in diagonally-in front of me.
Two girls, probably 20-23 each checked their phones at the same time. As I figured, it must've been my post because they both gasped. One of them covered her mouth and dropped her phone on the ground, causing it to shatter. The other girl just gaped in horror at both her phone and her friend's.
I walked over and picked up the girl's phone, not bothering to introduce myself.
"I can buy you a new one, you know."
"Not right now, dude, one of our favorite actresses just died." The girl who didn't drop her phone spoke.
"Kelsey, d-don't be rude." The girl who did drop her phone sputtered, seeming like she might cry.
Both girls looked up at me and as I realized that they were twins, identical twins, they realized who I was. Only the girl who snapped at me seemed to care though.
"Oh my gosh. Corey...you poor thing. I'm so sorry for your loss and I really didn't mean to snap like that." She said quickly.
I looked at the second girl. I only knew the difference because she had a blue streak in her brunnete hair and her gray eyes actually seemed genuine.
"I'll mail you a new phone." I whispered.
"I'd much rather an invitation to the funeral." She said equally as quiet.
"Sorry, it's friends and family only."
"Well then...that's fine. I-I'm really sorry for your loss. S-She seemed like an amazing person." The woman/girl spoke.
I got up and walked out the cafe, when I heard footsteps. I turned and saw the girl still there.
"Wait. W-Will you tell Cowan I said, hi? Tell her Gracie said, hi." She asked.
I nodded, not questioning anything and as 'Gracie' turned to leave I snapped a photo of her moving profile. I got a clear enough picture of her and started on my way home.
The sun was firmly up now and so was the community. I could sense that after that post, especially with our house reflected in it, someone would recognize where we are and paparazzi would swarm soon--so I hurried to the mansion.
When I got it, Cowan was on the couch, playing with Pluto's frisbee. The poor puppy is with Row's parents because we couldn't give it enough attention in the past few months. The family of like 80 couldn't care for a puppy but an elderly couple could.
Cowan looked at me and smiled in a small way.
"Hey, Dad."
"Hey, Cee. Gracie says hi."
I tossed my camera and Cowan caught it instictively. She blinked her eyes and loked at me weirdly.
"G-Grac--?"
She gasped when her eyes caught the picture. She used her index finger to trace it and she looked at me.
"Who is she?" I asked.
"An old friend. The sister of an old friend. An old lover from another time..."
My brain faintly brought back memories of a 'Noah' who died two weeks after he and his family were adopted. She told us that the same day we offered to let her stay for: "A few weeks." Back when Cowan was still a baby, Princess was still a fantasy and Rowas was still a reality.
"She just as important to you as Rowan is to me?" I asked.
"...No-one on this earth...will ever be as important to anyone...as Rowan was to you." Cowan spoke quietly, spacing her thoughts and words almost like Rowan would.
I felt Rowan's supportive hand on my shoulder again and sighed, closing my eyes.
"You know what. I think you're right." I smiled.
Cowan looked at me and glanced at my shoulder. As if she could see Rowan's hand there just as much as I felt it. She's still here. Almost as if Cowan heard me she, without a word, took a picture of me. Right then.
"A picture of the living dead among us. Because she's still here. And so are we."
***Q-A/N! How is everyone? After a week of healing are y'all ok? Good. I'm much better now and the crying fits come less often...+sobs+. MY BABY. MY LITTLE BABY. I gotta go. Stay strong my scientists and bunny farmers! it's a double update at least?***