It was after eleven at night when I gathered up the courage to ask him.
To ask him if he truly meant what he had said to my father, "I'm in love with your daughter and we plan to be together for a long time and we'll raise your son to be who he wants and what he wants and we'll make a damn sight sure that we don't fuck up like you did or ever think for a second he isn't loved it appreciated for who he is,"
Did he truly want to be with me for a long time? Especially now considering I have Louis? Or did he just say it in the moment to defend me and my choices and to put my father in his place that he so rightly deserves?
Everyone had left a little after ten, Louis had joined us for dinner, been bathed and put into bed for seven. I'd read him a story, kissed him goodnight when he said 'thank you ellell for keeping me and being a better mummy than mummy was' which brought tears to my eyes that I held at bay while I told him goodnight once more and left the room; before having a little cry in the kitchen.
Matt had found me doing the dishes in the kitchen, crying silently and asked me what was wrong, telling me, "You're doing everything right if he's telling you that after what, just a day of having him? He's clearly happier here and getting everything a three year old needs, it's a good thing baby,"
"I know, I know he's happy but it, it just feels good to hear him say that after so little time. Makes me feel like I've actually accomplished something and I've never had that from them, my parents I mean," I sighed, turning to face him as I cleaned the last dish and put it on the draining rack, "But hearing that? I know I've actually made someone happy,"
"You've been making people happy for months Ell," Matt chuckled, his hand reached for mine and I raised an eyebrow, confused, "Well, our friends for starters, are happier since you entered their lives but me? I'm happier than I've ever been, these what seven, eights months since we started talking have been the happiest months in my life and no, I'm not just saying that,"
"How did you even know I was gonna say that?"
"You're predictable Ell, so darn cute but bloody hell, you aren't half predictable," he chuckled, pecking my forehead before leading us both back to the sitting room, where we watched This Is The End and laughed the rest of the night away.
But like I said, I didn't get a chance to talk through what he said to my father until after eleven, after everyone else went home following the movie ending. I was loading the dishwasher and cleaning the remaining rubbish up while he saw everyone out.
I quickly showered, needing the time to think and prepare in my mind, what I was going to say and how I would ask it. It probably took me less than five minutes to wash my hair, body and shave, me obviously having mastered the task at hand. As I stepped out of the shower I grabbed the nearest towels, drying my body with one and wrapping my hair up in another before throwing on a shirt I'd grabbed from my clean laundry earlier and throwing it on, turns out it was one of Matts.
When I got back to my room, Matt was still no where to be seen, probably still occupied locking up and shutting off all the lights. So I jumped into bed, laying down on my back looking up at the ceiling, "You've got a bad habit of over thinking baby,"
Glancing up I was met with Matt, standing at the bottom of my bed, "Yeah, I guess you're right,"
"So what's bothering that pretty little face?" He chuckled, laying down beside me, his arm wrapping around me to pull me against his chest.
"Just, Louis and whether or not I'm cut out for raising him, I mean my parents screwed up with all three of us and there was two of them. What if I screw his life up even more than them because it's just me? What if they were wrong to give him to me and not Nathan? What if I turn out like them and don't make enough time fo-"
"Hey, hey, hey, calm down baby," he turned on his side to face me, "I told you earlier that you're doing a thousand times better than them already,"
"I know but-"
"No ifs, no buts and baby?"
"Yes?" I asked, leaning up so I could see him properly.
"You're not alone, I'm here and I plan to be for as long as you want me to be," he pressed a kiss to my forehead, my stomach doing somersaults as he did.
"You really meant that when you said it to my father?" I bit my lip, tears springing to my eyes as my mind tried to comprehend that he had actually meant it.
"Of course I did," he licked his lips, his expression turning shy and nervous suddenly, "On holiday I was going to ask to out properly, you know to ask you to be my girlfriend officially because I never actually asked you, we just kinda started acting like a couple and I felt bad for never actually asking you properly," he chuckled, his cheeks flushed a deep crimson red and I giggled, "But i got nervous and started doubting you'd even want anything like that when my mind was already planning on staying with you for as long as I could imagine,"
"You got nervous?" I bit my cheek, trying to contain my giggles.
"Yeah, I guess I began doubting everything and what we've been through," he gripped my waist and hoisted me so I was straddling him, "Then we went to your parents place and I couldn't stand there and listen to them tear you down and tell you you'd never get anywhere or amount to anything and then for them to dump Louis on you still and then continue to drag you down like you were a failure," his hand reached up to cup my cheek causing me to smile before I leant down, pressing my lips to his.
He pulled back, smiling, "So i told him everything I truly felt and wanted,"
"You did? You meant it all?" Tears gathered in my eyes that Matt quickly wiped away with his thumbs.
"Of course I did, I know I'm yet to officially ask you to be mine but let's face it we've basically been a couple for three months, maybe more and I've known you for almost nine and god damn it I'm so in love with you it hurts," Matt sat up with me still straddling him, "I told your father I was in love with you and I intended to be for a very long time, I told him I'd help you raise Louis to be a better man than he could ever dream of, I told him we'd be the family they could never of been and I meant it Ellena, I meant every single word,"
I stared at Matt in awe as he finished speaking, the silence was comforting as we gazed into once there's eyes, a burning passion sat, "Fucking hell I love you Matt,"
"I love you too baby girl," he smiled, placing kisses all over my face.
"Ell?" He all but whispered and I hummed in response, kissing along his neck, "Will you? Be my girlfriend I mean?"
I pulled back, watching his eyes flicker over my face, searching desperately for any kind of response, "I wouldn't want to be anything else,"