-Helen-
Here's the mail mama Tionne said handing me the mail. Thanks baby I said taking the mail from her. I flipped through the mail bills, more bills, junk mail, when something caught my eye. A letter from the Fulton country prison. Fulton County jail I thought to myself sitting the rest of the mail down on the table. I immediately opened the letter it was from my baby sister Candace.
Helen,
I know it's been years since we've spoken and I know that is my fault but I am writing because I need your help. Andre left some time ago and it's been real hard to look after the kids. I've gotten myself in trouble and now my kids are in foster care. I can understand if you are still upset with me for everything that went down in the past but please don't let that affect this. Please Helen if you have any love left for me you'll help me make sure my kids are okay. I've lost track of Andre Jr., but Noelle has recently been moved. I am sorry for everything that happened in the past, please find Noelle and take her in. I'll sign over my rights so you can raise her and you don't have to worry about Andre because his name was never on her birth certificate. Please Helen!
Candace
I folded up the letter looking at it before going over to the phone. I dialed the phone number and listened to the phone ring. Hello Ava! Helen! Yeah its me. Long time no hear. I know I got a...you got a letter from Candace didn't you? Yeah I did, how'd you know? I got one as well last week. She said she was in some type of trouble and needed my help. Are you free tomorrow during the day to go and see what's up? Yes I am. Good we should go and see what it is that's she's done now. I don't know what happened Helen she wasn't always like this. I know she wasn't. I am worried though cause she was talking about Andre being gone. He was gone 4 years ago Helen. I don't know why she stayed away after that. I'll see you tomorrow Ava. What time? How about 2 its before I go into work for the evening. That works for me, see you then.
Who you gon see tomorrow ma! Boy what I tell you about eaves dropping on peoples conversations. You told me to only do it when you need information on Tionne. Mama! Girl bye, this my house if I need the information I'll get it how I see fit. Let me catch you listening to my conversation and it's on in your world she said slapping Kayo upside the head. Hey...Mama! I shook my head and went to my room. I pulled out the old photo album and looked at the pictures of us when we were girls. Candace was my responsibility but somewhere down the line I failed her. She got caught into drugs and the wrong people and before I knew it my sweet baby sister was a foul mouth druggie hitting the pipe in my living room in front of my child. Tionne doesn't remember that because I tried my best to scrub that memory out of her mind. But it was the last straw for me I wasn't gonna let her disrespect me or herself so I threw her out. She left Georgia for a while and went out to California before moving back to Georgia. I kept tabs on her, I knew when she was pregnant with Andre Jr and Noelle, I just wasn't around for her. I am sorry Candace I couldn't take care of you the way I was supposed to I said tracing over her picture.
The next day Ava and I went up to the Fulton county prison to see Candace it's been about 7 years since I've last heard from her and about 10 since I'd physically seen her. We had our falling out over you guessed it Andre. I knew the first time she brought him he was no good. But no she said I was being too hard on him and judgmental. Who are you here for the guard said? Uh I believe she's going by Young. Candace Young! You related to her? Yeah I am her sister and this is her best friend. The guard looked us over before pushing the buzzer and handing us the visitors passes.
How long has it been since you've seen her Ava? About 5 years she brought the kids to Ro's birthday party and I knew she was on something then. I saw her 2 years after that when she asked to borrow my car. Borrow your car? She wanted to do something for Noelle's birthday. So I drove them down to Savannah to the beach. How were they then? The kids looked okay but she had bruises on her arms like she had been using big time. I tried to talk to her and get her to realize that she needed to come home. You know so yall could put all that mess in the past. She wasn't trying to hear it, said you wouldn't want her in your home. Was Andre with her? Nope he wasn't. I heard he moved back out to California chasing a dream of being a rapper. Figures, I knew that boy was going to get her...into trouble she said walking up to the table.
Candace! Helen she said looking down. Oh my god girl are you okay I said looking her over before hugging her. No touching the guard said! Sorry! Sit down so I can see you. I could be better if I wasn't in here. Why are you in here Ava said? I did something stupid and it ended me in here. What did you do? I...I was strung out; I got arrested trying to sell Noelle! Hold on a damn minute you tried to sell your daughter? I wasn't in my right mind he said he only wanted to look at her and that he wouldn't touch her. He was and undercover cop. Candace oh god! I know Helen you don't have to tell me okay I was stupid and I should have listened to you. He said he was just gonna look at her. He promised he wouldn't touch her. God how can I be so stupid she said putting her head in her hands and crying.
Where are the kids now? Foster care I've been trying to find them but lost track them at the 4th home they went to. 4 homes Candace why didn't you call me sooner Ava said. It's hard for me to admit when I've done wrong and I've done wrong but now, now I need you to find my babies and take care of them for me. How much time they give you? 17 years! Damn I said looking down. Ava will you take Noelle and Andre Jr! No I said interrupting her! What! No if anyone is going to take them it's going to be me, you're my sister, my responsibility, I am not letting this happen again. I'll find them and I'll take care of them for you Candace! Really? Yes I let you go but I am not going to let them go like that. Thank you Helen. Don't worry I'll help you Helen, Ava said. Where was the last home they were in? A family by the name of Jackson they live on the outskirts of College park. Here is the case workers name that's all the information they would give me. Don't worry we'll find them. Thank you she said looking at me like she did when she was little. Ava can you give us a minute, she said still looking at me. Yeah I'll go ask the guards how we can make sure you have everything you need while you are here.
-Candace-
We were silent for a few minutes. Hel..Can...you go first. Helen I want to say I am so sorry for the things that happened in the past. It's not all your fault Micki I should have done more to keep you around and make sure you weren't going down that road. No one has called me Micki in almost 10 years. No one should ever be calling you that, that's my name for you Michelle! You look just like mama...I miss her so much Len Len. I know me too. Not a day goes by when I don't think about her.
Micki I know this seems like the worst possible thing that is happening to you right now, but maybe this is what you need to get your life together. I know Len, trust me I do I can't do this no more, I can't act like I don't have a problem. Me and Ava are here for you now that. We will always be here for you, be on your best behavior and maybe they will let you out early. You think? Prayer baby girl Prayer! She said sliding me a bible, remember Jesus is always in your corner. Thank you for coming Helen!
You thought I wasn't, you may be hard headed but you still my baby sister and I love you. I wish Noelle had a sister like you. She will, Tionne will love that little girl just like I love you. You think? I know! I still can't believe you had a little girl, the one that said she was never having kids. Yeah and I ended up with two. You said in your letter about Andre. I wasn't entirely sure if she was his, I was doing some other things when I got pregnant with her. But Andre Jr. Oh yeah he for sure his, he look just like him. So what you want me to do, I mean as far as them and... I want you to raise them Helen. Raise them like mama raised us in church everything. Okay so what about Andre? What about his ass, when he walked out on me he walked on them too. Leave him to chase his dreams in California.
Yall good Ava said coming back over to the table. Yeah we're fine. Tionne! She doesn't remember that day Micki. Okay good. Do me a favor will you? What's that? Tell her I love her and that auntie is sorry for doing that. I will! Make sure she looks out for Noelle, she needs a sister like her. She'll have two big sisters, Ava said smiling, Ro will definitely look out for her too.
5 minute warning!!! The guard said. I gotta go. We'll be here on visitation days don't worry Micki we are here for you. Love you Len and Ava. We love you too they said as I went back over to the guard.
-Noelle-
Noelle baby come down stairs so we can show you what we got you from the dress store. Ever since I've come here the Williams family has been so nice to me. I got here the week before Christmas and they still bought me a ton of presents, clothes and toys. I wasn't expecting that but I was grateful for it because I didn't come to them with much. It's only 3 of us here with the Williams which is way better than the 8 that were at the Jackson house. And the best part is she actually feed us real food. Like the perfect balanced meals with meat, vegetables, bread, and dessert. That's not just on special occasions either, every single night we get balanced meals.
They have a daughter Cecily she's 16 and then there is Randy their other foster son he's 4 so I am fall right in the middle. Mrs. Williams is always doing something sweet for us. Like on New Year's Eve we stayed up and had our own little New Year's Eve party complete with apple cider and party hats. I was finally starting to feel comfortable and sleep at night here at their house besides the nightmares. But even those were slowly going away as well.
Yes Mrs. Williams I said coming into the living room. Look baby girl I got you some new church dresses. Church dresses I said scrunching up my face. Yes ma'am a pretty little girl like you needs pretty dresses to wear when she goes to church. I've never been to church what's it like I said looking at the dresses with their ruffles and lace. It's a spiritual place where you go to connect with god. God I said looking at her. Yeah baby you know God, Jesus, the holy ghost. I shrugged like I didn't know. Harold she yelled to her husband. Yeah Glady's seriously you have to yell like that? I did we need to find a church for this Sunday. Well there is St. James Missionary Baptist church over on Elm and 24th we'll go there. Don't worry Noelle we going to go to a good church where you can learn all about God. Okay let's see how these fit you she picking up the white dress with ruffles.
Sunday morning...
Amen! Thank you Jesus! Amen!
I was in shock by the amount of people in the church clapping and singing and all the pretty dresses and big hats that the women had on. I'd never seen anything like it. Momma wouldn't even walk on the same side of the street as a church so we never went. I admired all the people clapping and worshiping as the huge massive choir sung. There was this lady with this huge voice leading the choir in the song. I was mesmerized by her she had this heavenly voice, smooth skin, long hair that almost hung down her back. She reminded me so much of my mother, like they had the same presence about themselves and then even kind of looked alike. Sometimes I would hear my mama singing when she thought we weren't listening or asleep. She had a beautiful voice to me.
3 hours later church was finally over thank god cause my stomach was growling and I was about to fall asleep. I wasn't paying attention and ran right into someone as I was walking out the church hall. Aye watch it before you mess up my shoes she said. Oh I am sorry I didn't mean...I wasn't paying attention. She looked at me a few seconds before speaking again. Its okay she said with a smile. It was a warm it reminded me of the time well the only time mama ever took us to the beach. For my 5th birthday she somehow got my god mom to drive us down to the coast for my birthday. One of the best and happiest birthdays I can remember. I like your dress it's very pretty she said pulling me out my thoughts. Thank you! I like yours too. Oh this isn't a dress it just looks like one she said moving her leg so I could see that it was actually pants. That's so cool I said.
Yo big head mama said come on a teenage boy said approaching us. You the one with a big head she said back to him. Naw your head is definitely bigger than mine. Says who she said going back forth with him. Noelle it's time to go Cecily said getting my attention. Okay! Bye she said smiling at me. Bye I said as I watched her walk after the boy. I watched her walk away for a minute before turning and following Cecily. She was so cool I mean who would ever think to wear pants big enough to look like a dress.
So did you enjoy church Noelle Mrs. Williams said as we ate dinner? Yes ma'am I did. What was your favorite part? The singing and how nice the people were. Do you wanna go back next Sunday? Yeah I do. Good sweetie and maybe this time yall can go to Sunday school with all the other kids.
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We learn a lot in this chapter like how Helen and Candace fell out? What happened to Andre's ass, and how Noelle first met Tionne not knowing who she was. The book is gonna start taking off from here and its full of juicy secrets that you wont see coming. Stay tuned!!
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