Calum's POV
Why does she thinks that I deserve better? Can't she see that she's the only one that matters in the whole fucking universe?! I messed up, why did I even say stuff like she enjoys breaking my heart when the person who's doing that is myself? I truly hate when I'm angry, I will say this stupid stuffs that I do not even mean. Just like what happened 6 years ago, the night I found out that she's going to Princeton, I was so mad inside and so confused, and not to mention pretty fucking stupid, I told her that she deserves better. That anger lead me to leaving her just cause she wanted to go and further her studies somewhere far away, what does that make me look like? A fucking ogre! A cowardly fucking ogre!
I'm upset that I said those hurtful stuffs to Shay but I still can't get my head wrapped around why does she have to think about it? I mean, I understand that the deal is actually a great deal, she gets to further her studies and work at the same time, and provide a better life for herself and Tommy. That's an admirable move, and I value her independence but can she see that I want to provide a better life for her and Tommy, especially everything that she went through? I can even pay for her studies for God's sakes, I just want to take care of her cause she has been taking care of everyone but herself. I just honestly, sincerely want her to be happy..with me nearby. Call me selfish but I want to come home to a family, have dinner together, jam with my son and do basically nothing with my one and only. She could read and I could write songs on the bed, and still be together, just like the old times.
I know who Shay Michelle Dallas is, I know her too well. She has ambitions, she wants to be recognized for her hard work and she never gives up. That's the strong lady that I fell in love with, and I should know better for being an obstacle in the middle of her road to success. After the call with Tommy and a brief conversation with Shay, I sit down on the sofa in my bachelor pent house.
Micheal walks by while I sigh deeply, "why aren't you at Shay's? And why do you look like a phantom just sucked your soul?"
I look at him wearily, too depressed to even make a facial expression, "when can be infinitely happy, Mikey? Why does life have to just push us to the limit? Why not just let us be so that we can have our happily ever after".
Mikey laughed at my words while pouring some cereal into a bowl, "happily ever after? What are we? 9-year-old girls?"
"Fuck, you don't even know these stuffs. Why am I talking to you anyway?", I throw my hands in the air as a sign of surrender. I stand up and walking towards my room, and all of the sudden Micheal stopped me from moving with his full cereal bowl on my chest.
"Talk to me, bro. It seems like you need it",he said and I widened my eyes, "you think?!"
"Sit down here in my office, let's have a little chat", he sits on the kitchen stool, and pointing to the stool beside him, motioning me to sit down.
"The kitchen is your office? Nah, it's fine, I'll just think of something", I turn my body around to walk towards my room then Micheal called me out, "Cal, you know what happens when you bottle everything up inside!".
I stopped walking and let my fingers run through my hair, and turn to him and give in, "fine! I'll sit down in your fucking office". I sit down on the kitchen stool beside him, looking at him feeding himself some cereal.
"You know, I should be laying on that couch, resting my mind on it", I told him.
"Who do you think I am? A psychiatrist? Man, we bro's talk in the kitchen on the kitchen stools", he said and I just went along with it.
"So, something happened with Shay", I told him while resting my elbows on the counter .
"Obviously, girls are crazy like that", he said and I point at his direction as a sign that he's on point with that fact. "So, what happened?"
"You know the house up the hill that I like, the one that has the view of the city?", I asked him and he nods his head, "yeah, the one that you always said that you're gonna buy it one day when it's time to settle down".
"I did", Micheal spits the cereal out of his mouth and bits of it are all over the counter and on me.
"Dude! What is with you guys handling news? If you don't blab it, you spit it out! God!", I yelled and Ashton came out half naked, just strolling into the kitchen, not noticing the fuck what happened, take a glass out of the cabinet and pour orange juice from the fridge and sit down opposite us. He looks like he just woke up, and when he sees the mess Micheal made, he just looked at us and asked, "what the fuck happened?"
Before I could say that Micheal here, is one clumsy ass, he jumped to the gun first. "Calum just bought a house for him and Shay and Tommy to live in!", Ashton was drinking his juice and then, he spits it out too because of the news I bought a house. "No shit!", he shouted.
I hit my hands on the counter, "you guys are fucking disgusting! I'm done talking to you guys!", I stand up, I stand up, turn my body and all of the sudden there are these long arms wrapping me over the shoulder, and I realize it's Luke hugging me.
"Luke, you okay?", I asked him and he nods his head, "I'm happy for you, that is all. But you're gonna move out of here so I'm totally gonna miss you man". The thought of not waking up to these goons does make my heart feel heavy to leave this place, I would not get daily hugs from Luke or stupid pranks from Micheal and even nonsense chattering from Ashton, I wrap my hands around Luke and I could feel our strong bond.
"Fuck, man. I'm gonna miss you too, bro", Micheal stands up, and puts out a frown, extending his arms and hug the both of us.
"What are we? Fucking teletubbies?", Ashton points out while drinking his orange juice, thinking that hugging would diminishes his masculinity.
The three of us just stood silent, and embracing this man-hug. I can see Ashton just stared at us, and at last he gave up, cause I know among all of us, he has the biggest heart of all. "Fuck, dude! Let me in!". He came to us and as he extends his arm and move closely to us, "and don't anyone of you say..."
"Big Hug!!!", Luke yells and Ashton throws his head back and taking a step back, "seriously Hemmings? Ruin the moment are you now?"
"Yep, Ashton's right. I'm done hugging", he lets go of Luke and I and just pat me in the back, "gonna miss you, bro".
Luke unwrapped me and said something to Ashton, "oh come on, Irwin.The moment is ruined when you have to pollute the air saying we're fucking teletubbies! We all fucking know you love them!".
"When I was 3! I'm a grown ass man,now!", he yelled and Luke eyed him suspiciously, "so if right now, teletubbies is showing on tv, you're not gonna sit down on the couch and spend half an hour watching the show?"
"Guys, don't fight..", I said but then Luke puts his hand on chest, "no no, let's hear his answer".
Ashton looks confused now, and he nervously folded his arms, "maybe..for 15 minutes?", he answers and I can't help but to laugh cause we all know that he loved Teletubbies but knowing that he would still watch it, that's hilarious.
"You serious now, man?", Micheal give Ashton a disappointing look. "I knew it! I knew it! A grown ass man, my ass!", Luke yelled and jumping up and down.
"Only for 15 minutes, I'll watch it to know if there is any changes and whether it's different when I was 3, is the set different, are they new teletubbies and is the sun baby remain the same or if they used a different baby?", Ashton tries to defend himself and I hit him in the back, while laughing my ass off, "nothing can save you from this, Ash. This is pure gold!".
Ash then laughs too at his own stupidity and looks at me, "we're gonna miss you when we have these kind of fights, man. They're not gonna be the same without you."
I stopped laughing and come back to reality, "well dude, maybe I'm not moving out just yet. I'm not even sure whether Shay and I are in talking terms".
"What? What are you saying man?", Ashton asks and I can see Micheal waving his spoon up in the air, "yeah, he was about to tell me what happened between him and Shay but then...this got in the way", he waves the spoons at all of us, signifying that all of us were to blame for the interruption.
Luke looks concerned immediately, "but, didn't you just bought a house? Isn't that supposed to be good news?"
I put my hand behind my neck and chuckled, "I was about to propose too".
Everyone's jaw are metaphorically on the floor, but literally if I could pull a few inches, it'll reach the floor eventually.
"SHIT!", I hear Ashton yelling. "No no, you're fucking with us right?", Micheal laughs and hoping that I was joking and then there's Luke, "he's fucking with us because no one in the right mind would propose after getting back together for two months!".
I pulled the little box from out of my pocket, gently opening it and a big-ish diamond ring is shining clearly for everyone to see.
"DAMN!!!!", everyone shouted and throw their heads back, not believing that I actually bought a ring and planning to propose to Shay.
"You're fucking serious", Ashton said to me with his hand covering his mouth.
"And fucking stupid! Don't jump to the gun so fast, son!", Luke told me and finds his way sitting down on the couch, trying to calm down.
Micheal just chuckle and feeds himself another spoon of cereal, "and fucking lucky cause she messed up before you propose, take that as a sign my brotha!".
I close the ring box and put it back in my pocket, "irrespective of you guys's reactions, you guys know how I feel about her. Eventhough she's considering working at Princeton and yeah, that confuses me and made me angry at first, but now I realize that maybe that's what she supposed to do, cause she has been through so much", I told them calmly.
"You bought a house for you, her and Tommy to live in, but she's gonna work all the way a New Jersey and no doubt she's bringing Tommy along and you'll just end up in that big house all by yourself? I don't know what is this girl's problem!",Luke flips both his hands up in the air.
"Of course you don't, you stupid penguin! Shay wants to do something for herself, she found a job that she likes and obviously, she doesn't want to depend on Calum on everything", Ashton said and I point at his direction cause he's correct but then Luke retaliates, "can't she do something for herself here in LA, why does it have to be in New Jersey? Okay so if she doesn't want to depend on Calum on everything, I bet the both of them could talk and discuss on that matter right?", he looks at me and I muttered, "correct" at Luke's direction.
"Well, maybe the job is only offered in Princeton and she has worked so hard to get that kind of opportunity, I mean isn't that why she even moved to this country in the first place?", Ashton faces Luke and he furrowed his eyebrows cause Luke is just being utterly oblivious.
"But she has Calum, Calum is a pretty wealthy guy and he can get Shay any kind of job she wants. Calum has let her go once, you think that he wants to let her go again?!", Luke expresses his opinion sternly.
"Which part didn't you understand...", Ashton walks to Luke's direction and he seems like he wants to knock some sense into him and I quickly stand in front of him, and ask him to calm down.
"Guys, you are being ridiculous, cut it out! Now do you guys see my problem?", I look at Ashton then to Luke, and they seem to have their opinion on the situation but they understand my predicament.
"Do you love Shay?", I hear Micheal asks me away from the kitchen stool.
"With all my heart, Mikey", I answer.
"Would you rather have anyone else take her place, and live in that house with you?", he asks again and I bluntly answer, "no, it's Shay and Tommy that makes that huge house feels like home".
"Throughout all of this, have you ever imagined yourself being with someone else? Someone better than Shay?", he's being weird right now but I'll play along.
"I've never stopped thinking about her since the day I met her".
"You still want to be with her, even though life with her is not gonna be easy? You know, disagreements and stuff,"
"I rather fight with her than not talking to her at all, that's for sure", Micheal's question even got Luke and Ashton interested.
"You know that life is complicated?", he asks and I nod my head, "do you know that love is complicated and fucked up?"
I nod my head again, then he look me in the eye and asks, "would you rather have someone else loving you and be present in your long healthy life, knowing that both of those things are fucking fucked up?".
"No", my eyes widened. "I don't fucking get it", Luke said and Ashton folded his arms, "neither do I".
"I have to go get dinner, I'll be at Shay's", I grab my jacket and before I make my way to the door, I give a big kiss on Micheal's cheek. "You're a fucking good psychiatrist".
I walk out of my door, making my way to buy dinner and meet Shay and my son. I know what I'm going to do now to make this work, and I plan to tell her tonight.
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a/n: so excited for the next chapter! Leave a comment and thanks for reading :)