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Best Friends or Best Lovers
Chapter Fifthy Eight
Lola
That night I got to sleep in my own bed again, Kiki insisted to sleep with me but that wasn't a really good idea. What if I woke up and something bad happened, I didn't want her to be there with me if it did happen.
Niall his arms were loosely around me when I woke up the next morning, he also sang me asleep like Lou and Haz did the other nights before. "Ni, love," I said, poking his cheek.
"Morning love," He yawned and kissed me cheek. "Did you sleep well?" He asked and I nodded, placing my hand on top of his naked chest.
"Can you please get my medicine out of my bag, it is a little box filled with the pills," "Yeah, one second," Niall climbed out of the bed and dissapeared out of our room.
A few minutes later he got back with the pills and a glass of water. "There you go," He gave it to me as I swallowed all the pills for today.
"We will travel to Cardif this afternoon with the buss," Niall reminded me, climbing back in bed to me and putting his arm around me again.
"We have a Meet & Greet in the morning," "Oh okay," I was going to ruffel my hair but stopped myself just before I touched my hair, what if I lost more? I sertainly didn't want Niall to see..
Instead I ruffled his hair, pecking his lips in the proces. "H- How was the c- chemo?" Niall stuttered and I looked up to him, there were already tears in his eyes.
"Exhausting mostly, it makes me even sicker than I am though," "Did i- it hurt?" I shrugged, placing my head on his chest, fidling with my tubes so they would stay there. I was still getting used to them while moving around so much.
"I don't know.. Can't really explain it, how it feels or how much it hurts. You just feel this super tiny tube in the beginning, but now not any more 'cause I got used to it.." I tried to explain but I couldn't find the exact words for it.
"Oh.." Was all that came out of his mouth, I could feel his musles tense up underneath me. "W-Why didn't you told me when we were at my place? When we w-were together before Christmas?" I shivered, I wasn't really sure I knew the answer myself.
"I-I thought it would be for the best.. I don't know really.. I didn't want to bother you with this.. We were so happy there, I didn't want to ruin us," I tried to explain, tugging the blanket over my shoulders.
"But why.. Why could you tell him but not me?" His grip around me got tighter. "Is it because you still have feelings for him?" It rolled over his lips so casually.
"Excuse me!?" I highered my voice, pushing away his arms as I sat up. "I love you Ni, I thought you knew that.." I furrowed my eyebrows, why would he still think that?
"I-I thought you could trust me a-and tell me you were s-sick for god's sake.." More tears were forming in his eyes as he looked at me. "I am your man Loli, you love me enough to be with me but why couldn't you tell me?" He nearly begged me with his eyes.
I clutched my shirt tightly in my hands so he wouldn't notice my trembling hands. "I-I.." Nothing more came out of me, I couldn't speak. There was a small thing growing in my troat, tightning more and more by the second.
"What does he know that I don't? Lola, please I am tired of this," Niall sighed, not realising I was starting to have a panick attack. "I am so tired of not knowing.. I don't care about the little things anymore, the memories you had from before me but just this.. What makes him more important to you that he should know you have fucking cancer Lola?!" He raised his voice, I closed my eyes trying to calm down.
"What does he fucking know, that I don't?! Tell me!" He reached for my arms, nearly shaking me upside down in his mood. "I am your man, I am the one to protect you! Tell me for christ sake!" I pressed my hand over my ears, not needing to hear any more of his words.
"Lola, tell me!" He demaned and I opened my eyes to see his raising hand, was he going to slap me, what? "Stop!" I yelled, covering my hands all over my head so he couldn't touch me.
My breathing was un even and the tightness around my troat was still there. "Don't fucking touch me," I whimpered, slowly getting out of the bed as I shuffled towards my dressing table with the tank in my hand.
"What?" "I said do not touch me," I clutched myself in a tight embrace, trying to steady my breath. It wasn't working.
Niall got out of the bed, slowly walking over to me. "Lola tell me! I need to know!" I shook my head, didn't he notice I was having a fucking panic attack?!
Harry
All of us were downstairs, cleaning up the mess from last night while Louis and I were making breakfast. We slept over in the living room on some air beds that Liam brought with him yesterday.
Kiki ran inside the kitchen, nearly kicking over Louis in the proces while she clutched onto my legs tightly. "They are fighting.." She was trembling really badly.
I picked her up, her legs around my waist as I hugged her body. "I am here now," I whispered in her ear, kissing her forehead.
"Why don't you go outside with uncle Zayn and aunt Perrie and play on the swings in the garden?" I asked her, walking over to the others in the living room. "Can you do that for me?" I softly asked her.
Kik slowly nodded as I gave her over to Perrie. "I will go talk to mummy okay, I love you princess," I told her and the couple left the room with Kik.
"They have been yelling for half an hour straight now," Danielle informed me, a worried look over her face. "Should we-" Liam got interupted by Lola stamping down the stairs with her tank.
"Lola, stop running!" Niall yelled after her as he ran down the stairs. "Niall s- stop!" She couldn't catch her breath, she shuffled over to the living room.
"I- I can't tell you!" She cried out, Niall got ahold of her wrist, tugging her towards him. "Why fucking not?!" He yelled to her and I walked over, pushing him away.
"Do not fucking touch her!" I roared to him, pushing him one more time before I turned to Lola. Eleanor already wrapped her arms around her, helping her stand while she was trying to breath.
"Don't you see?! She has a fucking panic attack!" I yelled back at him, Niall froze his eyes fixed on Lola.
Louis got in the room and changed position with El, Lola couldn't stand on her feet - this was all too much for her. Louis wrapped his arms around her, holding her up as she cried. Her entire body trembling as she did.
"Why, do you fucking know everything?!" Niall yelled suddenly, giving me a hard push. "Because I do," I said, trying not to give Niall another push in the process.
"She was fucking abuse by her father Niall! You can't fucking touch her while she is in this state, having a freaking badly panick attack and she can't even breath properly on her own!" I screamed at him, standing between him and Lola.
"She is in this state because she is scared out of her mind! You want to know why you fucking idiot?" I went on, throwing my hands up in the air. "Her mother died, because of the same fucking thing that is happening to her right now! That is why she fucking couldn't tell you! That her mother got sick, went crazy and died!" I left out the part she did that herself.
"She died on the second day of Christmas, that is why that is our day! I was fucking there when her mother died, we fucking saw it happen!" I screamed not in control anymore, tears rolling down my cheeks.
"The only real family she has, is me! I am all she has so don't fucking think you have a chance to take that away from her, from us." I said, looking over my shoulder to see Lola's shaking body.
"Louis didn't even know all of it, do you see us fighting over the fact that I know more, that I am her family? Do you see me and Dani fighting while she has been the most best friend on earth to her when I left her? No, because we fucking care about her. Do you see El doing the same? No, because she cares so freaking much about her as if she was her own sister! But do they ask questions, about her dad, her mum, her past and what more? No, because they won't," I rambled, looking back to Niall.
"You are not the only fucking person in this house that loves her more than yourself, I do, Kik does, I think all of us do. So don't think you can take her away from me, I am still her fucking family Niall," I sighed. "Look at her, does it make you feel better now? That you now know everything? No cause now you have the burden to know the terrible, terrifying things that happened to her," I shook my head, walking over to Louis and Lola.
Every one kept their mouth's shut, I nodded at Louis who picked Lola up in his arms as I took the tank. Moving her over to the couch, putting blankets over her and Louis as she clutched onto him.
"So that first Christmas together, it wasn't because her dad exidently knocked her over so she fell down the stairs and hit her head?" Niall whispered, my eyes shot back to him.
"It was because of her dad, who hit her head against the wall so many times she almost died because of it," El gasped and threw her hand over her mouth as she got hugged by Dani.
"I know her body better than you do," I stated, seeing the jealousy grow in his eyes. "I was the one that took care of all the bruises and cuts every time she got beaten by her father," Lola closed her eyes, finally able to breath on her own now.
"I was the one that was there for her, yes I wasn't doing that when you got in the picture, but I was before. But do you see me get angry at her or you for the fact you took care of her? No because I am so gratefull you did, cause if not I know she wouldn't be here today, so you should be gratefull to me for all the times I saved her in the past, if not there wasn't even a girl to fight over," I kneeled down next to Lola, making sure the tank was fine.
"Thank you," Lola whimpered, opening her eyes as she looked at me. "Stay golden love," I whispered back as she put her head in the croak of Louis neck again.