𝙳𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚝 | 𝙱𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝟷

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚢 𝚃𝚠𝚘

𝚂𝚝𝚎𝚟𝚎

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It took fifteen minutes for someone to sell the story, twenty before my social media was blowing up.

Thirty before I was entering the lobby of the complex alone, my eyes shooting over to Alexander, and he looked almost sad for me. I nodded at him, no use in fighting with him, Sofia wasn't mine, there was nothing for me to be jealous of him for. "Steve," I stopped at the edge of the couch, turning to where Alexander was coming out of the office, something small in his hand, "I'm the last person who wants you two to be together," he held out his hand and I almost collapsed, he was holding the engagement ring, I don't even remember throwing it out, "but somewhere below all the fucked up emotions you two have you both love each other," I took the ring from his palm, looking back at his face, "I found it in the trash, don't toss it, go talk to her."

"She's in New York," I pocketed the ring, "I think, I don't actually know, but she's not here."

"She's upstairs, she came in alone about ten minutes ago," Alexander shoved me gently over to the elevator, my feet felt like weights when they started moving, "if you two won't talk I don't think either of you will bounce back, either have a plan to make up, or get closure, but you two need to talk."

I looked back at Alexander as he pressed the elevator up button and his hand clamped down on my shoulder, it felt like all the hatred I had for the man disappeared, he hated me and Sofia, but he knew how much the two of us relied on each other to function. Codependency at its finest Sofia and I, we were both slipping. I had done a lot to her in the years, but public humiliation was a new low, even for me, and she never played into my games, never in public. She kept her head down and was docile little Sofia.

We've well and truly fucked ourselves up haven't we?

The elevator ride up wasn't slow enough, neither was the walk to Sofia's door. What the hell was I doing? She wouldn't want to see me, but for some reason I couldn't go without her, I couldn't breathe if I didn't cover some ground with her. Tucking the ring back into my pocket, I knocked on her door, stepping back to lean against the wall behind me, I didn't think I could stand on my own right now. "Elena, please I told you," she froze mid sentence when she opened the door and saw me. She was back in her clothes, well mine to be exact, the gray hoodie she stole from me a few weeks ago was on her body, and her biker shorts were barely visible under it, but it felt good to see. "Steve," I watched the longing in her eyes for a moment, before she was building shields up, "what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to apologize."

"Right, well it's water under the bridge," it wasn't, but she was trying to avoid talking to me, "we fight all the time it's nothing new."

"Except it is," I looked behind her, making sure she was alone, "can we talk, please?"

Sofia wanted to fight, I know she did, but I could also see how tired she was, it was the little things I learned over the years of watching her. Her green eyes paled out, she didn't care about her posture, she lost the flush of her skin. She just became stagnant, and god I wanted to fix that, I wanted to kiss the pain away, and scream how much I loved her because at some point this wasn't a game anymore, I fell in love with her. Like really, truly fell in love with her. The fight left and Sofia stepped back, pushing her door open wider.

I walked into her little home, and it screamed Sofia at every turn, the girl could have a fucking library from all the books she has laying around. That's the thing not many people know about Sofia, she's a bookworm. She loves anything from romance to fantasy to thriller. I asked her one time years ago why she would rather lay by the pool with a book instead of having fun, to which she replied, I'm having fun because I get to escape my reality.

Thought it was corny then, could definitely use the escape now.

It felt like oceans and continents had made their way between Sofia and I as we sat on her couch, me on one end, her on the other. I don't remember a time where Sofia felt so far away when being so close. Or maybe I just ignored it because I was too busy chumming up with my friends. I wish I never put their wants in front of mine, because then Sofia wouldn't be so far from me. "So," she started, fidgeting with her fingers like she does when she's nervous because she wants to talk, she wants all the words to pour out so I can fix her like I've always done, but she doesn't want me to have the playing cards, "have you heard from the detectives?"

And I smiled, because two weeks ago that's how I started the hard conversation we were going to have. "No," I leaned back, stretching my arms across the back of the couch, crossing my ankles, "you holding up okay with that?"

I wasn't, but this wasn't about me.

"No," she let out a small laugh, dropping her head, "I don't think I'm holding up at all anymore."

"C'mere Sofia," I pat my legs, "I don't like the distance, we need to talk and you're too far."

This time she didn't hesitate, she crawled into my lap and turned so her back was against the arm rest and I lowered my right arm so it was across her hips. "Look, if you're sleeping with Carter, that's none of my business," she looked up at me, those precious green eyes breaking again, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that to you in public."

"It's not like that."

"Sofia really, it's okay, you're allowed-"

"No," she looked up at me, eyes watery, "it's not like that, he's still in love with Isabella and I was only wearing his clothes because I stayed at his last night to run from you. Because seeing you like you were last night broke everything in me," she was crying, my right hand coming up to press her head into my chest, so she could hear my beating heart, it was always the best way to calm her down, "I don't want you losing yourself because of me."

If that doesn't make man want to die, I'm not sure what does. I pressed my lips to the top of her head and just left them there, because I needed her to breathe, I needed her to breathe so fucking badly so I could as well. "I ran," she continued, curling further into my chest, "I ran because I didn't know what to do."

"You and I don't run from each other Sofia," her eyes closed while I pulled her tighter to me, "we never run from each. Yell and scream and fight? Yeah absolutely. See who can hurt the other more? That has us written all over it," I pulled back to cup her face, her green eyes catching on mine and I died a little more inside. If her lip quivered I would be a goner, I was already one, but I would be long past redemption, "we don't run from each other, slap me, hit me, scream at me, but do not keep me out."

I tucked her head under my chin, holding her against me while silence overcame us, I needed to tell her the truth, that I was in love with her, that I had been for the better part of my life. I knew it wouldn't change us, but it might give me a hint of how to fix all of this. Drugs and alcohol were already gone, models and sports groupies had been deleted from my phone, Curtis and Mickey were going to purge my system of partying, I knew that from the looks in the restaurant, I just needed Sofia to tell me what to do to fix it completely. And if telling her the truth would start that, then the truth is coming out.

"You were eight years old," Sofia sniffled, tilting her head to look up at me, "wearing a pleated skirt that I know you hated, but it was Logan's birthday, or it was the day before, you were playing soccer with my brother and his friends, your mom had done your hair up in those two little pigtails you wore religiously from preschool til fifth grade," I smiled at the memory, my eyes closing as I continued, "you noticed me by myself, ran over to me and sat down on the grass in front of me, asked me where my friends were, I told you mom didn't like having too many kids over, I lied, they were upstairs," I laughed lightly at the memory, "mom asked me to watch you guys while she made a snack, and I told you I was surprised that you noticed that I was by myself, and you replied with, I always notice you,"

"You're the first person I notice when I go anywhere," she finished, looking up at me while I nodded down at her.

"That was the first time I knew you were special, I knew I loved you."

I let her adjust in my lap, moving so she was facing me, and her face was covered in curiosity, "the second time, you were fifteen, at that god forsaken party with Logan, he got mad at you, I took you up to the water tower for the first time," her hair had stuck to her face from her tears, so I pushed it behind her ear, I needed to see her face, "you gasped, told me the view was beautiful, I told you that it was, it was so beautiful, but I wasn't talking about the view, I was talking about you," she let me place my hands on her thighs, the warmth was comforting, "I knew in that moment, with you barefoot, in that dress that looked like silver running down your body, I was never moving past you, you were the only great love in my life, I would never be able to find someone to compare to you, but I couldn't have you. So I pushed you, I was the cruel brother you knew me to be because it kept you at a distance. But god it has killed me."

She scooted forward in my lap, laying her head back on my shoulder, and good because the next one was one of my favorite memories, and this brought her closer to me for it. I wrapped my arms around her waist, tilting my head back once more.

"The third time was your eighteenth birthday, you were drunk off your ass, wearing that yellow bikini that I still have burned into my brain, dancing to every song that I put on, from All Summer Long, to The Anthem, to Pour Some Sugar on Me, you were laughing and it was the most free I had ever seen you be," I ran my hand under the sweatshirt, resting it on the small of her back, "I told you to come sit on my lap, I kissed you that night for the second time in my life, I remember knowing I was dying slowly because I couldn't keep you, but god damn did I want to, I wanted to take you home that night and just hold you but I couldn't because you were my brothers, but he doesn't love you the same way I do. He never can. Because while Logan loves you to keep himself guided, I love you to the point I need you to live, I need you to breathe, and I've royally fucked us over, I know that. But you need to know your love was not a game to me, I was not trying to conquer you. I feel in love with you Sofia, more than I ever have before, and not having you is the biggest loss I've ever felt in my life."

Silence was overcoming the room, and it wasn't uncomfortable anymore, but I think I had somehow managed to bridge the gap between us just a little bit. I'd have to thank Alexander later for this, because it was his idea, and as much as I thought he was a prick before, maybe he really did care for Sofia, because he even said that he didn't want us together, but we wouldn't come back without each other. The truth is, Sofia and I have been fighting the magnets that pull us together our whole lives, she acted like I didn't hurt her when I was an ass, I acted like an ass to keep her away from me because it hurt how much I loved her.

But we were masking the hurt we did to each other.

"Tell me there's hope for us baby," I whispered against her ear, her arms that were wrapped around my neck squeezing me tighter, "tell me there's a way for me to unfuck us, or tell me if I need to fuck off and leave you alone forever."

"Get help," she whispered, her head never leaving the crook of my neck, "for your drinking, and the drug use, and the emotions you fight, if you show me you're even trying to be better, I'll let you back in. Take me on dates, show me you love me the way you say you do."

And fuck would I do anything to get her back, "hey baby," I smiled against her ear, her little hum of acknowledgment making me smile wider, "fuck your written in the sand bullshit, we're written in the stars. There's nothing that can keep us apart."

"Not even me going to London with Carter because Prince William and Kate Middleton are expecting me and are excited?"

"That makes me jealous but not for the reason you think."

She pulled her head out of my neck, a playful smile on her lips when she looked at me, "why then?"

"You get to hang out with Kate Middleton and I don't." I dodged her slap laughing, allowing her to slump against me again, holding her against my chest, and god did it feel so good. Two weeks apart and it felt like a thousand years. "Have fun okay? That's a once in a lifetime experience, I can't wait to hear about it."

"Can I have my ring back?" She questioned softly, and I lifted my hips slightly, one hand sliding in my back pocket to pull it out, "I just want to put it on a necklace, it's your promise to me to get better."

I smiled, leaning up to press my lips against her forehead, "sounds good baby."

A knock on the door had both of us jumping, using her hips I helped her stand up, watching as she walked over to the door opening it, "Carter," she looked back at me before back at him, "hi, I'm so sorry, I just saw you called."

Little liar, I tried to mask my smile, but she was amusing as hell sometimes.

"It's alright love," he leaned down to press his lips to Sofia's cheek and anger that would've once burned in my chest was missing, because she was still mine, "Steve."

"Carter," I nodded, slapping my hand in his and giving him a bro hug, "take care of her for me yeah?" I looked over at Sofia, leaning down to press a kiss to her other cheek, "have fun Sofia."

"Mate," Carter called after me when I exited the apartment, only pausing to look back at him, "she'll be in good hands I promise," and then he smiled at me, one that said he knew everything that was happening and he was excited for me, "I'll bring her back to you in one piece."

"I'm holding you to that King," I used two fingers to salute him, Sofia and Carter chuckling at me, "have fun guys, I'll see you when you two get back. We'll go out for drinks."

With both their acknowledgement, I entered the elevator with a new blossom of hope.

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