I will write about yesterday in detail and then today
I Arrived kinda early but the drive there was so beautiful omgggg I was in complete awe of the sky and at one point I caught a glimpse of the orange sun rise and it was stunning sobhanAllah. I listened to Einaudi on the drive up and it made everything so scenic. I
I got to know more staff members yesterday. I was working with a senior HCA called Tracey and at first I didn't get a good impression of her cos she was like can I just call you halloumi instead. It reminded when someone at the other hospital was like Can I just call you helicopter. In all honesty I was offended. I think it's incredibly rude and offensive to not take any effort to learn someone's name. It's a way of dehumanising someone by completely disregarding their name and making a new one for them. White people have Siobhan as a name, I'm sorry but if you can say that then you can say any name.
The staff members didn't like she said that, I could tel it caused a fuss. She said that when we were all hanging around the reception desk cos there wasn't much to do and other ladies were like uh no you call her by her actual name and learn her actual name, and they stuck up for me. When she said it at the time I obviously laughed it off and made a joke about Nando's halloumi sticks to try and just divert the conversation onto something else. And then people were like you can call her something else instead and I was like lol no it's okay, they were like call her tofu or someone else was like she looks like the fairy godmother from shrek 💀 they said this whilst Tracey was there so it wasn't backbiting lol. But o think even Tracey realised what she said was out of pocket.
But anyways I think she did actually learn my name and she was actually incredibly lovely the rest of the day and I actually went to her for help when I needed it because she's approachable, they all are to be fair.
I ended up taking cannulas out all my own without supervision. I did it with supervision the first few times but then I was on my own two feet. It was a little scary at first especially doing OBS on my own cos I remember I couldn't do it properly last week but I knew the best way to learn is just throw yourself in the deep end. So by the end of the day I was honestly way more comfortable in what I was doing and learning where all the equipment is.
I did blood glucose levels right at the end too. That was supervised. Honestly anyone could do it idk why I'm hyping myself or proud of myself cos it's nothing crazy or special it's literally pricking a needle in someone's skin to get their blood glucose but it's just cool cos I haven't done it before.
The entire day was good even the porters are really good and things. You do see a few theatre assistants come up because they normally take the patients to theatre.
I loved the kitchen staff there too they're so friendly omg and they're so welcoming. Proper British old school ladies swearing and things but honestly they're so good and smiley.
There's this one guy I keep seeing since last week and idk his name and I've been introduced to most people and every time we pass in the corridor we do that awkward smile . You know the smile when you know someone but don't at the same time. So I was sat in the office and he was there and we did that awkward smile again and honestly I'm good at making things less awkward so I say to him, what's your name because we keep passing each other but we keep doing that awkward smile when you don't know each other and that kinda broke the ice and he laughed and told me his name. I've forgotten it already😭😂 think it was Danny? Or it began with an R? Idk lol
There was this patient who had drank like 3 cups of hot chocolate and omg it was torture for me cos the drinks machine they have there is so peng and I have had the hot chocolate from there on the first week when I wasn't fasting and urgh I really wanted one I struggled a lot yesterday. I told myself I'd make a mug of hot chocolate when I'd go home and I did contemplate it but I never made one. That patient has a hair salon called mint in pthcawl so I was getting hair tips from her lol.
I also spoke to another patient who could speak for hours on end and I'd never get tired. We didn't have anything to do it was like 6pm so I didn't mind staying there. He reminded me of Ayrton's dad with the way he kinda looked and spoke. His business is doing really well and he was telling me about his life and things, he is 62. He told me his business name too. High motive. He was lovely.
He told me about strawberries and vinegar I was like ehhh??? Come again??? I thought I had weird food combinations but this is something I have to try lol
He told me how his Muslim friend told him about spicy mango's I was like yeah it's a thing. You season it. I do it with watermelon, i season it to make it spicy and it's so good but never tried it with mangos
Then another patient who I initially liked but quickly didn't. He was a Muslim patient, half Sunni half Shia, I think he said his mums Shia and dad Sunni which is actually quite rare because shias don't have a problem with Sunnis but a lot of Sunnis have so many weird misconception of shias. They're taught weird things about us from a young age. All my Muslim friends are Sunni apart from honey and they also had weird things told so I had to lay out the facts to them straight. It shouldn't be like that unfortunately but it is what it is.
But he was a motivator as a side hustle and he kept talking and talking and I couldn't be rude and just leave the room cos he was talking about imam Ali and Hazrate Fatima and how good God is and things. And he was trying to be helpful but his comment of "I make people" "I make you" or showing me all his achievements on his phone. Like come on now let's settle down
But he was Muslim and was like I'm trying not to break my fast but the nurses want him to drink water cos he needed to urinate and I'm no Muslim professional but I said in Islam you don't have to fast if you take medication or obviously when you have surgery you kinda need to break your fast. I explained to him it's important for his body to urinate after surgery so nurses know he's all okay so he broke his fast
When one patient was leaving to go home, he tapped my shoulder cos I was at reception so my back was to him, so I turned around and he thanked me for the help. I appreciated that so much. He could have just gone home and not acknowledged. Manners are a beautiful thing. Tbh I didn't even do much but it was nice to be recognised.
When I was sat in the small office room, I was in there with this New Zealand nurse , she's soooo lovely and friendly, omg I could talk for hours with her. And I seen marshmallow cookies in a tub in front of me and I was like urgh I want one and she goes take one then and I go I'm fasting and she goes well take a couple for when you break your fast at home and I checked the tub to see if it has gelatine cos marshmallow does and it didn't have any and it said suitable for vegetarians so I took one and I had a bite at Iftar when I came home but it was a little too sweet but I appreciated her saying that like take it home to eat.
I was educating them all about Islam and Ramadan we were all huddled around reception, it was almost time to go home at this point so we didn't have any work to do and night staff were coming in for handover. They were asking me so many questions and the one question I absolutely HATE and I think most female Muslims can agree with me on this, is "don't you get hot in that?" If I was hot Susan, I'd have taken it off or stayed home, but thank you for checking my well-being.
They were asking me things like don't I get hot in it or do I have to wear it at home or who gets to see my hair or how does Ramadan work. It made me realise how poorly educated people are on different religions and how grateful I am that religious education was compulsory up to GCSE in school cos we learned about so many religions it's a good eye opener. I know they meant well though like it wasn't out of spite
They wanted to see pics of my hair and me in makeup so I showed them pics of my sisters wedding. I was talking to them like they were my best friends you know. 40-60 year old women
One was telling to me to leave early at like 7:10pm and I was ah nah I can't and things and honestly I stood my ground a lot. I didn't want to honestly and then she goes yeah but you're fasting and I go listen , tomorrow you could all identify as Muslim and say you're fasting and leave early too😂 they all found that funny and laughed lol there was about 7 of us huddled around the reception desk lol.
Like not being funny I can identify as a fridge and say I got all the snacks you need.
But I saw them when I was out in the car park with A
Omg okay so Ayrton.
The man that he is honestly. I was on call with him when I finished work and like I said yesterday , I said I seen a bike and I couldn't remember what his bike looked like I've never had a full good look at it so I didn't even think that that could be his. Also before I continue the blossom tree outside the hospital is beautiful I was gonna take a pic of it. But anyways yeah he was asking me things like what type of bike it is and what the number plate is and I thought he was asking that to see what type of bike it was, cos you know, he's interested in bikes. And then when I opened my car door it was a little too close to his mirrors and he goes "watch the mirrors" and I snapped my head around and seen him walking towards me. Biggest surprise ever.
I think I ran and hugged him I can't really remember what I did😂 I sat on his bike and it's the first time I've sat on an actual motorbike, I sat on my cousins kid motorbike when I was younger lol but that's when we were kids. So that was cool. And I got to turn it on. His bike is bouuuujjjeeeeee it has a little tv and it's got a light switch to turn the bike on likeeee it's so cool.
We went to chilli flames and I'm glad we went cos omg the panini was everything . I thought it was really sweet that he paid for my parents food as well. My dad ate the rice, I asked him today, and my mum was too full to eat the panini when I came home cos she had already ate so she said she'll have it later so it's in the fridge. But I ate a bit of the panini when I woke up at 4am lol it was just too tasty. Oh I had a bit more of his rice I took home too.
He helped me parallel park and he wasn't condescending or whatever and I'm glad he actually came in to help and he guided me just the way H does when she tells me which way to steer and things cos I don't know. And I actually even ordered onion rings. Ilham was talking about onion rings the other day and it got me craving it. I've made home made onion rings before too and they turned out decent. I'm not a massive fan of onions although I don't mind fried onions, honestly it depends what food context it is if that makes sense but the chilli flames one was really good but I was just too full to have anymore.
It was cool driving behind him lol he was like swerving in and out when driving and things and omg when I seen him behind me flashing his lights on the motorway I was like whatttt😂I actually think I fully postural turned around and looked behind me to see if it was him😂
He drove all the way to make sure I got home safe and urgh that was too cute I had to give him a hug so I got out the car and I did.
Annnnd then I came home and spoke to Ilham and had a shower and things and slept.
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Now today.
Drove to the dentist and they took an x ray of my teeth cos I told them my gum was hurting me and there isn't anything wrong with it that they could see so that was good. I'm booked in for two weeks time to get my temporary filling into a permanent one and they were like do you want silver or white and I'd like white but it was so expensive so I went for silver. But when I came home my parents were like that's what we are here for, your dad will pay for it, call them up and say you want white. I thought that was really sweet of my parents they've never ever said no to payment and costs. I didn't even ask them they offered. I paid for my appt today though and it was like £14.
I love the smell at the dentist is that weird lol.
I then randomly and very spontaneously decided to go gym. I was in my sporty clothes, I just didn't have my sports bra with me. I was debating just going home but I ended up going gym. I did 20 mins on the stair master. I avoid the stair master or only do about ten mins on it at the end of a workout but i switched it up and decided to start my workout with the stair master.
I then did RDLs with the weights I normally use but there was one that was heavier and I wanted to see if I could do it. But I knew I couldn't lift it off the rack so I asked another woman to help me out lol so she held one end and I held the other and she said she'd help me put it back bless her. I did a few reps of that. So normally i do 3x8 reps with whatever weights I can and if I feel like my posture is weakening then I drop the weights or I cut down the reps. So with the heavier weights I only 3x 5 I think. And then we put it back together
My legs were still sore from the other day at the gym but felt better
I then went on the treadmill for 15 mins and walked on incline. I didn't wanna push myself too much cos I remmeber I got a headache when I pushed myself last time. Ilham called me when she was on her break when I was on the treadmill so I spoke to her and then I drove home. I told her I found out there's a friend referral scheme at work if you know someone who is applying to work and she seemed keen for me to try it but I can only access that on the work computers so will try that tomorrow towards the end of the shift
I had a cold shower at home. Maybe a little too cold.
I then went upstairs in bed cos I was cold. Wearing his hoodie and had a nap. I was knocked out I was so tired. I'm still wearing his hoodie. I woke up at like 16:02pm.
And now I'm waiting for iftar. 3 more hours. I'm not really craving anything tonight. I know. Shock. 😂 I want some of the panini if my mum is too full to eat all of it
Actually I've been craving avocados
Wanna try avocado Nd peanut butter
I don't like Easter eggs but can't lie I don't mind a crème egg but only one cos they're so sweet lol
Also this time last year, actually I think it was yesterday last year. Ayrton came to my house. I had taken a selfie on sc and he had given me two hickeys on my neck and it came up on my snap memories.
I also had a memory me and tash on my Snapchat memories from 6 years ago today, crazy to think about
Todays gym.
Urgh his hoodie smells so gooooood.
I caught myself thinking about Ayrton's sweet gestures today from yesterday and I was just smiling to myself.
I told him I'm trying to be better during Ramadan in terms of praying and things and honestly I have been praying 5x a day most days but I've been slacking again so I need to try.
I'm working tomorrow . Then will probably go food shopping on Friday to prepare for Saturday Iftar I'm doing for my friends.
I was on TikTok before I fell asleep and I ended up crying cos I came across an account and it's a guy who does really heart warming things and gives money and surprises to those in genuine need. Like he'd go up to them and ask for a quarter from a homeless guy to catch the bus and the homeless guy gave him the quarter from his money cup and it made me cry cos he didn't even have much in the cup. And the guy gave the quarter back and was gave him money and things. And I was watching his other videos and it makes me realise how blessed I am for the life I have alhamdulilah like I shouldn't complain.
Not to say problems or feelings are invalid but it's important to focus on what we have rather than what we don't.
Why does time go by fast at home but slow in work
Anyways
17:29pm
To whoever reading this please keep Palestine in your prayers, "Israeli" people have raided the famous al aqsa mosque and tied Palestinians when praying and have beat them up. News coverage makes Palestine to be the bad guys. It's the one topic that will make my blood boil
Ilham just sent me this . I think I'm known for snickers and peanut butter now 😂
Yesterday meant a lot to me and I genuinely think it's up there in terms of memories with him. Made me happy It was all just so thoughtful alhamdulilah