Diana's POV
Opening my eyes, I'm met with an emtpy bed.
Sitting up immediately, I look around the room, and release a breath of relief when I see I'm safe.
Tucking my knees to my chest, and wrap my arms around myself.
Alex..is in a mafia.
A fucking mafia.
He kills people. I saw him holding a gun like it was nothing.
Standing up, I walk to his bedroom door, quietly stepping out and walking down the hall.
A door to one of the bedrooms opens, and I freeze in my spot. I was hoping I wouldn't run into anyone.
A relax when I see Casey, who stops when he see's me.
He then quickly walks over to me, hugging me tight. "Thank god you're okay" Casey mumbles, pulling away and looking at my face, inspecting it for injuries.
"You must be hungry-"
"I want to go home" I tell him. He looks taken back.
"Really? You dont want to go hug the boyfriend?" He asks confused. "Please Casey" I whisper, and he nods.
"Of course, of course. Lets get you home" He shoots me a smile, holding my hand as we slowly decend down ths stairs.
When we reach the bottom, we walk to the front door. Casey opens it, just as my name is called.
"Diana?" I turn, seeing Alex walk out of the kitchen slowly, looking confused.
"I'm going home" I tell him, and he stops walking. Which I'm greatful for. The closer he gets the more I want to hug him. To cuddle into his chest while his arms envelope me in.
"Are you okay?- Fuck, is this about the mafia things?" Alex asks, and I drop my eyes to the floor.
"I'm going to go" I whisper.
"Diana please just let me talk to you first" Alex pleads, taking slow steps towards me.
"Goodbye" I mumble. "Diana wait-" He walks over, but Casey quickly stands infront of me.
"Back off" He tells Alex. Alex shakes his head. "I mean no harm, I just want to talk-"
"I know. But she doesn't. Put yourself in her shoes. She needs space" Casey tells him. Alex's eyes flicker to mine.
"Please Diana" Alex mumbles. I look away.
"She's ring you, if, and when she's ready" Casey tells him, and Alex sighs. "Okay" He nods his head, running a hand through his hair.
I take small steps over to the front door, before opening it. I turn, seeing Casey and Alex talk about something quietly.
Before I can say anything, Casey walks over, gently placing an arm around my shoulder and leading me outside.
We walk over to my car. I stare at it confused. It was at the office car park, how did it get here?
Casey opens the passenger seat, and I get inside. He closes the door behind me.
Looking out the window, I spot Alex standing in the doorway, looking at me sadly.
I look away while Casey gets in the car.
He begins driving off, and in the rear view mirror I watch as we drive further and further away, Alex getting harder to see by the second.
My eyes sting with tears, and I bite my lip, turning to look out the window as I silently cry.
******
Its been two weeks.
I haven't seen, nor spoken to Alex at all. I haven't been going to work, for obvious reasons.
Alex has been kind enough to respect my wish of wanting space, and hasnt texted me one.
I miss him.
I miss him so fucking much. But I'll have to get over it. Because I'm breaking up with him.
Ive been looking around for jobs over the last two weeks. I've applied for a few, and am waiting for a response.
I dont want to, but its the right thing to do right? I know it is. But the problem is I dont care. I still want to be with him. But I have to fight my feelings.
Sighing, I put my elbows on the table, leaning forward and resting my head in my hands.
I haven't been sleeping well. I simple dont feel safe, and the break up I need to do is leaving me restless.
All problems would be solved with Alex beside me.
Why the hell cant he be a normal guy?
Why couldn't he just have been my boss. Why did he have to be in a fucking mafia. And why did I have to fall in love with him off all people.
"Are you okay?"
I look up, seeing Casey walk into the kitchen.
"Fine" I shoot him a smile. "I know a fake smile when I see one" He chuckles, sitting down on the chair beside me. "What's up?" He asks.
"Its nothing" I mumble, looking down at my mug of hot chocolate that has gone cold by now. "Why are you avoiding him?" Casey asks.
"No reason" I tell him.
"Did he hurt you?" Casey asks, and I scowl, shaking my head. "No, of course not" I mumble.
"So its the mafia thing?" Casey asks, and I snap my head up to look at him. "H-how.?-" "Unimportant" He shrugs.
I sigh, knowing there's no point in questioning it. "Yes" I answer his previous question.
"Do you love him?" Casey asks after a few minutes of silence. "Yes" I tell him honestly.
"Are you going to break up with him?" Casey says, and I look back down at the table and nod. Its the right thing to do, I repeat to myself.
"Why?" He says. I look at him confused. "He kills people" I tell him slowly.
"And what will breaking up with him do?" Casey asks, and I go to say something but stop.
What will it do?
Leave me sad, lonely and miserable. But what good will it do?
"Are you scared of him?" Casey asks. "No, I know he's never hurt me" I answer.
"So why leave him? Why cause yourself unnecessary pain and sadness, when you dont have to?" Casey says.
"He kills people. Its the right thing to do" I mumble. "But is it what you want to do?" He asks. I stay quiet.
What I want doesn't matter.
The right thing to do is to leave him.
"Look, I'm not trying to make you stay with him. If you want to break up with him, do it. I'll be here with my bat when he shows up wanting to talk to you" Casey promises.
I chuckle. Of course Casey wouldn't be scared to hit Alex with a bat.
"But if you're doing it because you believe its the right thing to do, its bullshit. Sometimes, you have to be selfish. You have to do the wrong thing to be happy. And yes, it might make you a bad person, but who's going to judge you?" Casey says.
"I know I wont. Alex's millions of siblings wont. So who else is there?" Casey asks.
"I can tell him loves about you. You can see it in his eyes whenever your name is so much as mentioned. He's a good guy, depsite the whole..you know" Casey chuckles.
"You think I should stay with him?" I ask. "I think you should do what makes you happy" Casey tells me. "You deserve to be happy. And you deserve to have someone" He tells me, standing up.
"I have you, dont I?" I chuckle. He shoots me a small smile, dropping his eyes to the floor.
"You'll be okay, no matter what option you pick" Casey tells me, and I nod my head, shooting him a smile. He turns, walking out of the kitchen and back upstairs.
I sit in silence, contemplating what I'm about to do.
Deep down, I really didnt want to leave him. I wanted to stay, regardless if that made me a horrible, sick person. I wanted someone to tell me its okay to be with him, and Casey just did.
'I deserve to be happy' I think to myself as I take out my phone.
Even if that makes me a horrible person. I dont care.
I click his contact, and the phone starts ringing.
He picks up almost immediately, and neither of us talk at first.
"Are you okay?" Alex asks first. I look down at the table. "Can we talk?" I ask him instead.
"Of course. Where would you like to talk?" He asks. "My house" I tell him. "I'll be over soon" Alex tells me, before the line goes dead.
Taking a deep breath, I place my phone on the table.
I sit there, thinking about what I'll say. Or do.
I need to not hug him the second he walks in. I need to fight the urge to fall apart in his arms. At least until after I get my questions answered.
The doorbell rings, and I freeze. Checking my phone, I see its already been twenty minutes.
Cursing, I stand up. I look a mess. My hair is greasy, and hasnt been brushed. My clothes are dirty. I look exhausted.
Not having much of a choice, I slowly walk to the door. Opening it, my heart speeds up when I see Alex standing there.
Dont.Hug.Him.
"Hey" He shoots me a small smile. "Hi" I whisper. Standing back, I give him space to walk in.
He steps inside, closing the door behind him. I walk over to the living room, keeping my head down as I try calm down.
I know he's following me, I can hear his footsteps.
I sit down on the two-seater couch, and he sits on the opposite side. Thankfully, he sits as far away as possible, obviously sensing I needed some space.
"I want to know everything" I tell him. "Everything?" He repeats. And I nod my head.
"Okay" He says.
"My family lead a mafia. Jay, is the don, but we all have our own part. Sage runs the training facility. Leo is the tech guy. He find names, addresses. Stop us from getting attacked cyberly. And I run the company. My other brothers just do jobs" Alex tells me.
"We do not kill innocent people. Only people who have wronged us, or are rivals. We do not take part in any human or sex trafficking ring-" I let out a breath of relief. "-we mainly specialize in weaponry and drugs. We are fairly well known on the crime side, and we have alot of enemies. I'm sorry you got dragged into it. We didnt know they knew of you just yet, but no we do, we'll be careful" He tells me.
"I won't let it happen again Diana. If you choose to believe anything I say now, please believe that" He tells me, and I feel releaved, since I know Alex wouldn't lie.
"Have you every killed anyone?" I ask him. "Yes" He nods causally.
"Do you torture people?" I ask. "Not me specifically, but yes, people within our mafia torture people to get information" He answers.
"Can I ask you a question Diana?". I nod my head. "Are you scared of me right now?" Alex asks. I shake my head. "I know you'd never hurt me" I tell him. He nods, looking relieved. "Im glad you know that".
The room falls silent.
I think back to what Casey said for the millionth time. 'Do what makes you happy'.
Im a shit person. Such a shit person. Im too tired to care.
"Okay" I mumble, and he looks confused. "Okay?" He repeats. "Okay, I want to still be with you" I tell him.
"Really?"Alex mumbles, looking to be in disbelief.I nod, shooting him a small smile. He smiles, causing my heart to skip a beat.
Alex beckons me over, and Im quick to listen. Climbing onto his lap, I straddle him, while my arms wrap around his neck and I hug him tightly. He hugs me tightly too, burying his face in my neck.
We both sit there silently for an unknown amount of time, letting our fears of loosing eachother die away while we hug tighter
"I'm so sorry about what happened" Alex whispers, breaking the silence.
In the car park, I got a gut feeling to run. And when I did, and hurt multiple pairs of footsteps chasing after me, I never felt so scared in my life.
Then I woke up in that dark room on the dirty mattress. A guy came in, and I found out the truth. Then some alarm went off, and a while later Alex showed up.
"I was so scared" I whisper, my eyes pricking with tears at the memory.
"I know baby, I know. I'll never let it happen again" Alex promises, kissing my head.
I pull back, staring at his face. His eyes notice my teary ones, as well as my slightly wet cheeks. He dries them with his hand, before leaning our forheads together.
He closes the gap, gently kissing my lip. I pull away a few seconds later, before hugging him again. His hand rubs my back soothinly, the other stroking my hair.
"You're safe with me" He whispers.