A/N: Woah!! Chapter 46 already! Four more chapters till chapter 50 which is a little more than the halfway mark into the book. After ABS is done, I'll be editing and revising it. That's my plan for the near future:)
SONG FOR THIS CHAPTER- SPACES by ONE DIRECTION
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C A R O L I N E
The bedsheets smell like Harry. The cologne he spritzes on his body every morning wavers through my nostrils, making me smile at the very thought of him lying next to me. By the time my eyes flutter open, reality strikes me across the face. Everything about last night seems so surreal...was that Harry speaking or someone else? What is it that's bothering him so much that he's taking his anger out on me?
It isn't healthy, that's for sure.
I'm the one getting hurt in the end, while Harry continues to repeat his mistakes. I follow behind him like a lost puppy, agreeing with everything he does and says. But it isn't my fault that I need him.
I want to be the type of girl who loves someone because she wants them, not because she needs them to hide behind.
Slowly, I'm going to work towards changing that. I turn my sore body over to the other side of the bed; the sheets where Harry used to lie is empty. He must of gotten up already. I pull myself up and scan my eyes over the room. He's not here. A hopeless sigh surpasses my lips.
I can tell Harry feels guilty though, for what he said last night. I never expected such harsh words from him. Even though he apologized shortly after, I can't help to think...Is he right?
I can feel it- the way Harry and I are slowly drifting apart, going our separate ways. His eyes don't reflect the same love we shared, instead they're replace with guilt and sadness. It feels as though I'm the very reason.
A tear slips from my eye and down onto the cold bedsheets. I find Harry's shirt lying on the ground and so I pick it up and bury my face in it. Its overwhelming scent of alcohol gets me dizzy, so I throw it back to the floor. That tee shirt used to smell like lavender.
I quickly go use the bathroom and throw on some clothes. I don't really care what I wear anymore...it's not like anyone's going to see me and I've got no one to impress. Not a single bit.
My stomach starts to grumble with hunger so I make my way towards the cabinets, trying to find something to eat. However, in one cabinet I find a black shoe box resting at the back of the space. My eyebrows crease in confusion. What's this doing in here?
I look around before pulling it out. My stare is set on it for several seconds, weighing it with my hands. It doesn't have any type of label on it, so I'm assuming it's nothing important.
One little peak wouldn't hurt.
My fingers are sweaty and fumbling as they clutch the lid of the shoebox. My conscience tells me this is a bad idea, but my brain says otherwise. Maybe this is the answer to everything. I can just take one little millisecond glance and pretend I never saw anything. It can't be that bad.
Right when my hands prepare to fling the lid off, the front door yanks open and a familiar furious voice yells.
"Hey! Don't fucking touch that!"
Uh oh.
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H A R R Y
"Hey! Don't fucking touch that!" I bark at Caroline when I see the box in her hands. I can't believe she fucking tried to snoop through my things. I never thought she would be like this.
Besides and most importantly, that shoebox contains all the papers, plans, and IDs of the Mighty Kingdom. If I hadn't walked it, Caroline would of saw everything and I would have a lot of explaining to do. I've hidden it for a reason.
I went out to get Caroline something as an apology for my behaviour last night, but today I catch her doing something much worse.
"What fucking else have you been snooping through?" I ask coldly, crossing my arms over my chest. Caroline lays the shoebox down and looks down, not saying a word. "Answer me!" I raise my voice and she jumps a bit, startled at my tone.
"I-I'm sorry, Harry. I was just curious." She apologizes, but it only gets me angrier, making me chuck my jacket at the floor.
I laugh bitterly. "I'm curious too, angel, but do you see me going through your bras and panties?" The last part, I furrow my eyebrows, making Caroline even more uncomfortable. But she deserves it. I don't even care at this point.
"I know I shouldn't have tried to take a peek." Caroline says with a shaky tone, eyes starting to water up with intimidation. I roll my eyes.
"If you knew that, then why did you?" I ask her hysterically, putting my hands up in the air. She bites her lip. "Sorry isn't going to fucking cut it." I look down at the paper bag in my hands. I slam it down on the table.
"This is for last night, but I don't even think you need it any more. I thought you were better than this, Caroline Ann." I say angrily, my eyes seeing a totally different girl from the one I fell in love with.
Before I leave to the bathroom, I turn back to Caroline standing there, tears running non-stop from her face. I spit harshly at her. "Bon apatite."
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C A R O L I N EI
I know I shouldn't have. I know I shouldn't have tried to find out what Harry's possibly hiding from me. I should have just left it. It would've been better than him being this angry with me. I feel like a complete, senseless idiot.
My eyes trailing to the brown bag on top of the counter, I pull out the contents. It's a stack of Belgium waffles with a scribbly 'I'm Sorry' written on top of the the mountain of whipped cream with chocolate sauce. Even though I want to smile, I suppress it. I don't deserve an apology...what I did was worse.
Immediately I start feeling guilty. I can't live like this. Harry officially hates me now, proven the fact that he doesn't want my apology. But I can understand...a simple sorry can't fix the spaces between us.
Maybe we are better off apart.
Salty tears are slipping from my eyes as I pick up my dufflebag from under the bed and lay it on top of the mattress. This is fucking impossible...we are fucking impossible. I've fantasized greatly about the future welcoming Harry and I, but now it all seems like I'm blinded from the truth by them.
If Harry actually cared, he'd tell me what he's hiding.
He's just not the same Harry. Either that, or the Harry that I've fell in love with is a temporary one. Maybe that Harry never existed. Maybe this is actually the real Harry.
Soft, clawing sobs escape my throat as I shove a bunch of clothes and my diary into the bag. Harry brought it to me the night he took me; I write down everything in there. Right now, I know exactly what to pour down into words.
I was smitten by the light,
Failing to see the dark soul who spat harsh words.
I could not see a thing
Because the charm rolled off his tongue.
But that was irrelevant
And a mask he put on.
I wanted for us to love,
But that love is going sour.
Like the milk of five days.
I don't know what I just wrote, but it was all the jumbled and mixed feelings clouding my judgement. But one thing's for sure. I should get going- back to the castle and back to Liam, Mother and Father. Living my destined life.
Wiping away the big fat tears that moisten my face, I sling the heavy bag over my shoulder and look behind me before heading to the door. I look around at the motel room, taking in the look of Harry's artistic paintings and his clothes lying on the ground. I'm going to miss it. I hope he forgets about me and moves on with his life too, he deserves better.
He deserves a girl who won't piss him off as much, a girl who can satisfy all his damn needs, a girl who can be strong enough to cope with his harsh words.
I know it's not me.
I suck in a deep breath before my clammy fingers reach to turn the lock on the door, but a large hand slams itself on the wooden door. My mind goes blank for a second when I hear all the yelling aimed at me.
The voice snarls at me, as my body is pushed backwards towards the table. "You aren't going anywhere, love."
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A/N: I know this is a short chapter, I'm so sorry. I just didn't feel like writing today and I know this chapter was lazy and crappy. Sorry for that too. M. x