Only For Him {COLLINS #2} 🔞✓

XXVIII

I should have been ashamed of myself but astonishingly I was not. It was not me. This was not what I wanted. She had insulted my Erin lot of times now and I still fell weak against her. I wanted to sue her for vandalizing my property as well as for not respecting a person who wasn't even here anymore. But, I couldn't understand why I ran back to give answer of her question and again betrayed the eternal union I had with my Eri Perri.

I don't know how many times I had thought of what would have happened if I were in her place. Would she have cried? Would she have missed me? But, I knew one thing which was I would have never wanted her to be upset or shed tears over me. I hated it when she cried especially if I was the reason.

I would have really wanted her to be happy if I weren't around anymore. I would have wanted her to fall in love. I would have wanted her to get married and have kids like she had dreamt. I would have wanted her to forget me forever.

She would have wanted the same for me but I was always wanted peace. I loved her too much to ever forget her. I loved her too much to even want to fall in love. I had vowed to always love her and there wasn't and would never be even the tiniest place for any other woman in my heart.

I walked to the elevator, furiously pressing on the push buttons to leave the floor. I breathed in sharply trying to forget what just happened. I had betrayed her again. And she was never going to forgive me. She wouldn't have been happy with my deeds. I rushed out of the elevator as soon as it reached the ground floor. I walked back to my car and all the cool air choked me.

Ironically, she was in the air, mocking me.

I looked up wanting to rush away from the place but I froze again when I heard her voice.

"Don't tell me you regret it!"

I didn't want to turn around. It wasn't her.

I had crossed all my limits. I had no right to ruin someone's life.

"Mr Collins?" I turned around only to see this kid's face radiating anger building inside her. She looked furious. Her little chubby face was nothing like of my liking. Her hair was too long, straight. I preferred shorter, intense blonde curls. Her lips were nothing like my Eri's and I was ashamed that I latched onto them. She was a medium height-ed kid. I was into tall one. She was nothing like her. She was a kid and yet I did those unethical things to her.

What had I become? A fucking paedophile!

I could feel the uneasiness creep up my chest as she glared at me. I felt like a true jerk. How did I let all those words slip off my tongue? How could I propose something so unethical? How could I even think of her quenching my sexual urges?

"Do you regret whatever happened between us?" She asked again.

I was really uncomfortable standing so close to her. She looked me in the eyes. I hated it whenever she locked eyes with me. Her chocolaty eyes resembled my Eri's. But, I needed to understand she wasn't her. She was a fucking kid. And I didn't want to play with her. I was not a player. This was not me.

"You dirty dog! Why the hell did you ask me to be your sugar babe when you weren't sure of your own decision?" She yelled. I turned my head to look away from her.

"What's your age?" I asked. I wanted answer. I couldn't live with this heaviness in my heart.

"And why the fuck do you want to know that?" She crossed her hands over her chest.

I sighed, disappointed with myself and the mastery of self control which I had fucked up with. "Forget it! It was a bad idea."

"What did you say?" Her face was red in anger. "What do you think I am? A sexy toy that you could use when you want too?"