Into My Heart

XVI

The day went by quickly, as Mallory and I really started to bond to the next level: this kid was so inspiring. Despite her handicap, she always was sunny and motivated, as if nothing would stop her from being the person she aspires to be, and restrain her from attaining the goals she had set for herself. 

Actually, most people could learn a lesson or two from Mallory Press.

But I, on the other hand, was lost in my thoughts, and had been all day long. Every corner of the house we would meet, the more anxious I was getting of coming across from some corpse, just like Christen had came across one day or two earlier. And  didn't want Mallory to get involved with all that - yes, she was on the verge of turning 17, but she did not deserve to learn the fragmented truth about her family.

She deserved to remain a child a little longer.

As we were playing chess in the sun, right near that huge tree hiding the immense household that belonged to the Press, I found myself thinking about my life, and about my father: so many lost years only to watch him die, and then learn about him being the head of a gang. I was so aspired by my newly found hatred against him that I did not realize that Mallory had beaten me fair and square.

"Chess mate!" she joyfully exclaims, placing her last pawn near my queen, before removing it. I indeed was doomed - and she seemed pretty un-excited about it: "You getting distracted every three seconds removed the thrill of beating you, it was too easy."

Shaking my head slowly, I nod.

"You're right" I admit, staring right into her eyes before adding: "I'm sorry, my thoughts were invading."

"Are you sad about your father?" she then asks without any warning, making me jump slightly. How does she know about my father's death?  I think to myself, quite annoyed, Nobody was supposed to know, nobody in her family would care, but she immediately gives me the answer that made me even more angry: "I overheard Rachel and Chris talk about it. I am sorry for your loss."

Trying to remain calm and unemotional, I only say:

"Don't worry, we didn't get along that well"

"Well, why?" Mallory innocently asks, raising her eyebrows.

Of course I couldn't get mad at her for asking some specific questions: I really wasn't good at therapy, and this dialogues kind of felt like it. 

I sigh.

"We fought a lot when I was younger" I explain, choosing carefully my words in order not to either break down into tears nor insult him. As her attention is fully on me, I continue: "And then I decided to leave and go live somewhere else, only to discover that he had been cheating on my mother before she died, and we lost contact, until recently when I learnt that he was very sick. But too much time had passed, I guess."

"I'm sorry" Mallory sincerely says, "I understand you quite well, actually: sometimes, although we live in the same roof, I feel so distant with my relatives - except for Christen. I would like to leave, too."

I frown, turning to her.

"Really?" I ask, quite surprised. 

"Yes" she says, neither sad nor feeling down. It was like if it has been like this for so long that she did not know how else to think. "We have never been a real family: dad and mom cheat on each other  ; Tyler and Channing are so competitive with each other that it totally destroyed their sisterly bond ; Christen is just so misunderstood that she cannot be herself with all of them ; and me, oh, me! I'm just there, a burden."

"You are not a burden, Mallory" I seriously say in a reflex, internally shocked by her way of thinking. Processing all the other information, I add: "I have not known you for long, but you are a bright, smart and hella funny young lady: you are worth the world, okay?"

Her laughter invades the room, and my surprise seems to revive it somehow. Her eyes are suddenly so bright that they could light up a whole city, while I, on the other hand, just sit them, staring at her in disbelief.

After a few seconds, the laughter fades, and she just stares at me as well.

"What is so funny?" I ask, truly confused.

Mallory smirks, before saying:

"You remind me of Christen: she would always tell me this when we talk about it. We talking about it rarely, but with me she is herself, and she is smart, bright, caring and so, so special. And she doesn't even realize it. She is the reason why I am trying to get better every day."

"If you don't mind me asking" I immediately say, without really thinking it through before, "why do you see a resemblance between me and a girl that is quite the opposite of me?"

She smirks again, this time, with sarcasm.

"Maybe you are too busy losing yourself in your thoughts to truly get to know her, but I know you both are quite alike to some extent. Maybe you should give her the benefit of the doubt, she is nothing like the rest of our family."

"But-"

"You see, I haven't known you for long, Abigail, but somehow I know that you are the kind of person to push everybody away in order to avoid confrontations and abandonment" she continues, willingly ignoring my contest. After staring right into my eyes, she harshly says: "That is exactly what you did with your father, then with your half-sisters, and it is now what you tend to do with everybody else because you are scared."

This time, I am the one who let an impatient laugh out of my throat. 

"And what exactly do you think I am scared of, genius?" I ask, immediately regretting it.

This kind of response was exactly what she needed in order for her to firmly answer:

"Of feeling any sort of love for anyone but yourself, because it would hurt too much if you did and the other person rejected you."

Ouch. 

"You don't know the first thing about me" I angrily say, while getting up slowly and walking away. 

After a few seconds and steps later, I hear her say:

"Oh, but I do."

Little did I know that Christen overheard the whole conversation from afar and now was walking after me, trying to catch up. 

And when she finally does, right in the entrance of the Press property, my breath is taken away.