Into My Heart

LX (PART 2)

SAM

My world seems to be falling apart.

Firstly, my head was a mess ever since I started feeling complicated things toward Shelina: she is a mother-to-be, probably not gay, and higher than my usual standards. Furthermore, I pushed her away badly, and now things between us were just cold and awkward, especially since I didn't know if what I was feeling was reciprocal.

Secondly, I was beating myself up for not allowing me to feel things toward her because she is a woman: indeed, if she was a guy, I'd already have made my move or shown her how I felt. Interiorised homophobia might really be a thing, I guess: I mean, my two sisters were attracted to girls - I say attracted because I don't want to label them, especially Abby since she is just in love with Christen, which doesn't mean she is gay ultimately. Why couldn't I be as brave as them and face my feelings?

Thirdly, this whole suspense about the Patriarch and what is going to happen to all of us in the next few weeks is unsustainable: I don't want someone I love to get hurt, and that also include Christen, who I have grown to absolutely adore, or Alex for some reason, since Kristie seems to care about her. Either way, I needed to find a way to protect them all. 

Oh, and also: I was now walking into the hospital where Abby works because Shelina has started to feel contractions announcing her baby girl's upcoming birth. 

When I walk into the waiting room, a doctor immediately walks toward me and asks:

"Are you Samantha Mewis?"

"Yes" I say, surprised, "why?"

"Mrs Zadorsky has asked for you to be by her side while she delivers her baby. Do you accept?"

In shock, I just instinctively nod my head yes.

I follow the nurse into the birthing room, where screams were coming out from. When I enter, I immediately search her with my eyes, before finally seeing her: she was lying down on the delivering chair, her eyes closed tightly, moaning in pain. Without thinking, I put the chirurgical gown on, as well as a mask, and run toward her, sitting down on the chair next to her.

When I grab her hand, she opens her eyes, and somehow they soften, as if the fact that I was there made her feel less alone. She squeezes my hand tightly, and for a momentI forget everything about those past weeks when we barely talked to each other: now I want to be there for her, whenever she needs me. 

After a full hour of pain, baby's screams invaded the room. In tears, Shelina waited in order to hold her baby girl for the first time. Oddly enough, she hadn't let go of my hand before she held her daughter, and when I proceeded on getting up and leaving, she held me back with her hand on my forearm. 

A soft smile on her lips, and her beautiful eyes filled with a light I have never seen, she just whispers:

"Thank you, Sam."

I smile back, staring at the small body into Shelina's arms, before emotionally saying:

"It has been an honour to assist you during this"

Shelina smirks. 

"Her name is Maura."

My throat attacked by emotion, I just smiled and, naturally, leaned on in order to deposit a soft and small - yet feeling full - on her forehead, before departing the room. 

Once I am outside, I suddenly and surprisingly burst into tears, burying my face into my hands.

A familiar voice says behind me:

"Hi, Sam."

When I turn around, I am surprised to see Mallory, staring at me with an innocent smile.

Wiping my tears away quickly, I just sigh and figure out what I am about to say at the moment.

Taking a deep breath, I only manage to let out:

"Hey, Mal, 'sup? What are you doing here?" 

The younger girl smirks. 

"I could ask you the same question" she remarks, raising her eyebrows.

"Shelina just gave birth" I explain briefly, feeling how tired I really was at that very moment. As my social battery starts to run low, I continue: "She called me, so-"

"You and her are a thing, then?" the youngster shamelessly asks, openly mocking me.

"No, not at all, we-"

"Yeah, right" Mal concedes, and somehow something in her voice seemed quite sassy. As I am about to try and defend myself, she continues: "Do you know if Abby's here today? She works here, right?"

I frown.

"Yes, she was supposed to work today... We should check around! You need any help?"

"I'm all good, thanks" Mallory says, looking around quietly. After a few seconds, she adds: "How's Christen, by the way? I haven't seen her in a few days now and I am starting to worry a little bit."

That is stranger: why wouldn't Christen talk to her sister if she is living at our family's place? 

Raising my eyebrow, I just say:

"She's okay, I guess... She's been busy."

"Busy enough to forget her sister, I guess..." Mallory slowly says, her voice breaking a little bit. After a few seconds of an awkward silence - what am I supposed to respond to that? - she asks: "What room is Shelina staying in?"

Turning around, I point at the door I just crossed minutes ago. Nodding her head, Mal gives me a thankful smile. I could see her fist was in her pocket, probably holding something, but I didn't bother to ask.

After a while, I only say:

"Maybe you should let her rest, she is very tired" 

"Makes sense" the younger girl says, nodding her head slowly. "You're right: I'm just going to go to maternity in order to see the baby-"

"Maura" I announce, and somehow my voice softens while talking about Shelina's daughter.

As I blush, Mal nods.

"I'll go see Maura, then. Thanks, Sam."

With that said, she disappears, walking up the stairs, never turning back.

After only seconds going by, I hear someone running through the corridors: when I turn around, I see Abby and Christen rushing toward me, and they seemed out of breath.

Before I can say anything, Abby aggressively asks:

"Where is she? Where is Mallory?"

"She went to the maternity, why would you-"

"Let's go" Christen orders.

I follow the two women but, alas, when we finally make it to maternity, baby Maura is long gone already, with no trace of Mallory...