Into My Heart

V

There are many ways in which people have hurt me thorough my life ; to an extend where, as of right now, I cannot trust neither truly like them, not right away, not after quite some time. When I see my father, or his others daughters, all I can feel is emptiness because I have been through too much to feel anything anymore.

While following Mallory Press inside the house after her sisters and mother left, I am having the weirdest set of emotions regarding the place: it is like something highly malfunctioning and toxic was living in the huge house's atmosphere. I even feel shivers down my spine as we reach the elevator in order to go to Mallory's room. 

The teenager was actually pretty silent, sometimes throwing me odd looks, but mostly just staring in emptiness. Realizing that talking to her would only disturb her, I only bring her to her room, pushing the high-tech wheelchair her parents bought her. Once we make it to the room, I am impressed by the posters in the room: David Bowie, Nirvana, Deep Purple, Genesis, and so on. There must be at least 50 posters of 50 different old rock bands or singers. Amazed by those flourished walls, I also notice a very impressive, high-tech computer set up, with three screens and a special typewriter. There were wires everywhere, but the screens were actually off. Frowning, I stare at the girl as she just has her eyes on them, and she shivers. As a disabled person, she must've been obliged to comply with technology instead of some 'normal' activity for girls her age, such as sports for instance since her legs don't work anymore.

 Suddenly, she coldly stares at me and points at her bed: I take this as an invitation to sit down, and do so in silence. I can tell the girl is formulating something to say in her head, and decide to be patient. 

When she finally does speak, I am glad I waited:

"Before you ask the usual boring questions" she starts, her voice suddenly more mature and dark than before with her family, "I lost my ability to walk because I have been abducted by a gang my father was rival with, and they show me in the spine. Some parts of the bullets just touched the critical parts and it was too late."

As I am about to react, she goes on:

"I was playing soccer before all that happened, I was pretty good, mamá said, and I could've gone pro, she said. Soccer was my whole life, but now my life's over or, at least, this version of my life. My boyfriend left me. My sisters left home. My papá barely is there, mamá is here but she isn't here mentally. It is so lonely here."

I nod my head, as she painfully stares at her hands, and then her eyes get lost again. She does not cry - maybe she cannot cry anymore, maybe she has been crying too many times. One thing is for sure: she is traumatized, and she is a clever girl: she knows there is no way out.

I am clever too - I will never lie to her.

And, somehow, she knows it. When her eyes finally find their way to me, she just stares at me shamelessly, probably reading my thoughts or something. I don't blink, I don't run away - I just stare back.

After smirking, she lets out a small "huh" as if she is surprised, before frowning and saying:

"No nurse has ever shut up when I said that."

"That's 'cause I'm not a nurse" I admit, nodding my head quietly. As she cracks a small smile, I add: "Besides, I bet everybody has had their opinion on who you are, how dreadful what happened to you was, and how you should feel. So, just know I'm not like them."

"What are you like, then, Mrs Dahlkemper?" Mallory asks, raising her eyebrow.

"I am nothing" I immediately say, not hesitating one second, "to you, at least. I am nothing and nobody to judge and ask questions."

She nods her head again.

"You're different than the others" she then elaborates, as if this conclusion was as odd to her as if I had just jumped out of the window at that very moment.

"That's before I am nothing like anyone else, just like you are nothing like anybody else."

She smirks, and then we fall into silence.

To be honest, although I am not fond of teenagers or human beings in general, this seventeen-year-old might have the worse life of anybody I've met so far, and I kind of immediately knew that I could get involved in some sort of sisterly attachment with her. Nevertheless, I would never openly admit it - I mean, I don't want Samantha and Kristie in my life, so why would I want to get attached to anybody in this town, let alone a disabled, rich girl?

She must've realized that I was lost in my thoughts because she is still staring at me while asking:

"You are a very oddly unique person, I can tell. You remind me of my sister."

I frown.

"Which one? Because that could come up as an insult all things considered" I joke, as Mallory cracks a smile again.

"Neither Channing nor Tyler, rest assured" she says, before adding: "No, I'm talking about my ghost sister, Christen."

This time, I get really confused.

"Ghost sister?" I repeat, trying to remember if anyone had mentioned her since my arrival. Maybe there was this shadow behind me when I departed yesterday... or not. "How come I have never heard her name mentioned before?"

"Ay, that's the golden question, Mrs Abigail" Mallory sarcastically lets out, as she does not seem to be willing to tell me more about the mysterious Christen Press, ghost sister of the Press mansion here in Orange.  Nevertheless, she adds: "You've never heard of her because she is not like the other members of this family."

I nod my head, smirking.

"I bet she's your favorite sister?"

"I am not allowed to tell... But she is her own woman, and I find this absolutely amazing considering that she's been through hell. But I am not allowed to talk about that either; nobody is."

"I see."

Knowing that this conversation wouldn't go any further, I just stare down at my hands, as Mallory lights up the three screens in front of her, departing for a world that is now her own, where she could run and be whoever she might want to be - freedom in the virtual world.

And as I left the house in the evening, I swear I could've seen a shadow looking at me from a distance as I closed the portal...