Chapter 57

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In the cupboard. The cupboard, trapped. Spiders, an old mattress, dust mites, no light. Trapped, hungry, thirsty, weak. They wouldn't leave me here to die. They can't-

I woke with a tremendous jolt, my breath in my throat, and shaking. I couldn't recognize where I was, and my mind trailed to my overly vague dream of being trapped again. It was just, so vivid.

I looked around hazily. Everything was dark. I stumbled out of bed hurriedly, slamming the wall's light switch into the 'on' position. I was doubled over, feeling light headed. Breathe. I yanked the door open, desperate to escape. I can't be trapped again. I didn't quite comprehend the voice exclaiming what on earth I'm doing. The touches on the shoulder, and the slight tugs were numb to me. Breathe. Everything was spinning, and as I ran I turned on every light switch that I passed. BREATHE. I'm panicking. Hyperventilating.

"Harry, please-"

"Get away. Get away!" I screamed, backing away, and holding out a defensive arm. Why can't I breathe?! I looked around, half expecting to see Uncle Vernon, crouching to look at me through the small entry way of my cupboard, but everything was too blurry to make out. I burst through the front door, leaving it wide open, and took an enormous breath. As big as I could. I felt the cold air bite through my lungs, burning my already dry throat, cracking my chapped lips. It made me feel worse.

I felt the world around me fall as I sunk down. Soon I was doubled over, knees to my chest, trying to find any bit of fresh air that I could. Not violent winter air, and not hot, stuffy, muggy, reused cupboard air. Soon enough, there were tears cascading down my cheeks, allowing the cold air to bite at them. I was becoming desperate for air, I felt like my lungs were collapsing on me. I gripped my chest, feeling my nails dig into me. I can feel it crushing me. I was painfully aware of the slender hand trying to pick me up, and I dimly followed.

"Please, let's go inside. It's freezing tonight. Come on, it's okay. Everything is alright. Follow my breathing..." I recognized the pleading yet calm voice, but everything was too hazy for me to understand. I know those hands. I've felt them before. But my mind was still reeling, and suddenly, the cold air that was making my core shiver was exactly what made me realize that I'm not trapped in the hot, stuffy cupboard.

"I-I can't. Please, le- I need air, light." I said through shallow breaths and a deeply furrowed brow.

I felt the warmth as he hugged me close, and it felt like a suffocating grip around my throat. I pushed him away, shivering violently.

"P-please. Air." I said, getting closer to the cemented ground.

"I need you to breathe with me. Follow my breaths as I count." I saw a flash of white blond settle by me; my stomach gave an awful lurch.

"Feel where you are for me." I felt the ghost of my right hand go from my chest- heaving and weighing me down- to the pathway leading to the front door. The pathway. The front door. I blinked a few times, pleading for my eyes to adjust as much as they could without my glasses. I'm not where I thought I was.

On my right side, I felt every minuscule indent on the ground, taking it in every time my finger passed over a small bit of loose rocks. I took my first successful deep breath.

My left hand felt cold, dewey, soft. Grass. I closed my eyes. I gripped it hard, feeling each blade clasped in my hand like feathers, softly brushing against my palm until I could understand. I'm not trapped.

My bare feet, they were numb from the cold, more so than my finger tips, and I could feel the hem of my pajama pants as the wind nudged them side to side.

It was then that I noticed the hand rubbing up and down my clothed back soothingly. A trembling hand, trying its best to keep steady.
I moved my left hand backwards, and I felt as my surroundings shifted from grass to a person. Someone's knee, covered by a pant leg. So the grass was in front of me, not next to me.

I leaned into this person, not bothering to open my eyes and confirm that it was who I thought it was. He's shivering, just like I am. I felt a tickle at my ear as his warm breath gave me the smallest bit of relief.

"Let's go inside." Whispered a soft, trembling voice. I nodded, and slowly, shakily, we stood. I was gripping his arm the entire time, as he had it held out for me. I opened my eyes to be greeted by blurry vision as we neared the bright yellow light within the house. And as soon as the door was closed behind us, and I was standing on the welcome mat, I could feel my feet slowly start to regain feeling. I rested my head on the figure next to me, who I now confirmed to be Draco. And I felt a brief chill go through me.

"Are you okay?" I nodded softly, closing my eyes again.

"Do you want me to leave all of the lights on?" I felt his hand shift from my back to my hair, and exhaled at his soothing touch.

"Just need a lamp." I murmured.

"Okay... do you think you can go back to sleep?" He asked, softly as ever.

"Let's go to bed." I whispered. Not knowing if I'd really fall asleep, but knowing that I would love the comfort of a bed right now.

As we made it back to the room, Draco turned off each light we passed, and I made sure to stay slightly in front of him, and make sure I could still feel him. I don't want to be trapped, consumed by darkness. When we made it to the bedroom, he closed the door, going to his bedside to turn on a table lamp, then going back towards me, to turn off the main light. He lingered beside me, staring into my eyes.

"Are you sure you're alright?" I could hear the concern lacing his tone.

I nodded. "I'm alright now... it's okay." I whispered, closing my eyes once again.

"Okay." I felt his lips brush mine for a soft, loving kiss, that I returned, before he held my hands, leading me to the bed.

The covers were warm. Almost as if I'd never left them. I enjoyed it, as the soft comforter embraced me in a sort of hug, as the sheets settled around me. My head rested on the pillow, which had become cold to the touch, and my head seemed heavy as lead. Then, I felt Draco hug me from behind. Snaking his arms around my waist, as the rest of him was pressed against my frame.

"Try to get some rest."

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