Just Neighbors | spencer reid

021

"What're-" Spencer clears his throat, "What're you doing here?"

"I uh- heard what happened." I mumble, "I'm so sorry Spence."

He begins to close the door but I stop it with my hand. "Spencer, please. I'm here for you."

"Where were you when I called you 4 times and received no answer?" He questions, his face and voice staying monotone.

"Spencer." JJ warns him.

I turn towards her and give her a small smile. "I'll be fine here, I'll call you tomorrow." I tell her.

She raises her eyes brows as if asking 'you sure?'. I nod and she nods back in confirmation. JJ stares at Spencer for a bit before slowly walking to the elevator. I turn back towards him, taking in the way he looks. His hair was a bit longer than the last time I saw him and it was a mess on top of his head. He was in a grey shirt and sweatpants with his robe hugging him. His eye bags were worse than usual. He looked like he's gotten no sleep.

"Are you coming in?" He asks, his voice low and quiet.

"Yeah." I respond back, sliding through the door as he moves out to the way.

Spencer closes the door behind us and locks it. I stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to do or say. What do you say to someone who's girlfriend died right in front of them?

He leaves me standing there as he walks to the couch and sits down on it, not saying anything to me. I walk over to him and bend down in front of him, placing my hands on his knees.

"I'm here Spence." I remind him, "I'm not leaving until you're okay. Or at least better."

"Maeve's dead."

His voice was laced with sadness and there was an empty feeling about him. I feel like I wasn't in the room with the man I love. This isn't my Spence.

"I know." I whisper, rubbing his knee comfortingly.

"I didn't get to tell her I love her."

A tear escapes his eyes and falls down his cheek. He doesn't bother wiping it away. I feel my heart aching for him, wanting to take his pain away. I stand up and sit next to him, pulling him to me and hugging him tight. His head finds its way to the crook of my neck and his arms wrap around me. That's when Spencer finally breaks. He shakes in my arms as he cries, my arms tightening around him. I feel tears start to build up in my eyes but I hold them back. I need to be strong for him right now.

One of my hands plays with his hair while the other rubs his arm in a soothing motion. He slowly starts to calm down but I don't dare let go and neither does he.

"I don't know your beliefs because we've never really had that conversation before but-" I pause, swallowing back the tears. "Just know that she's in a better place. No matter where, I'm sure she's happier. Right now she could be watching over you, wanting you to be okay."

He moves his head out from the crook of my neck and sits up, his brown eyes staring at me. I remember when they were so warm and welcoming. Now they're just dull and dead-like.

"I feel lost." He whispers.

"You'll find your way. It'll just take some time."

"How? How am I supposed to get past this?"

"You're the genius here Spence. You tell me." I grasp his hand in mine and squeeze it.