You blankly stared at the shower wall, watching the condensation from the hot shower you were taking drip down it. The water pelted against your back as you sat there, knees tucked to your chest. You had no thoughts, no emotions, no motivation. It had been a while since you'd been sitting there numbly, the water had turned cold. Your skin resembled sand paper as the goosebumps rose from the cold shower you sat in.
"Y/N?" You heard someone say through the door "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm getting out just give me a minute" You called back to the person
After a few additional minutes you reached forward and turned off the shower, you stood to your feet and pushed open the curtain. A gray fluffy towel grasped in your hands as you dried yourself off and proceeded to wrap it around you. You stepped towards the mirror and placed a hand against it as you swiped away the fog created from your hot shower.
"Wow" you mumble staring at your pale face, sunken cheeks and dark eyes. You looked like shit, no amount of showers could fix that.
As you did your makeup and hair, you looked at yourself once more. You still resembled a walking corpse but at least you could pass it off as a long night of editing. You walked out the bathroom towards your closet and pulled out a big hoodie and some leggings. You slipped into some shoes and walked out of your room only to knock into David.
"Oh hey" You grinned
"I was just about to come get you" David smiled leaning down to kiss you.
Your lips moved with his, yet you couldn't feel anything. His hands caressed your face as you both pulled apart, his light brown eyes twinkling as he smiled at you. You only smiled back and let him pull you to the living room where two of your friends awaited your presence.
"Hi, sorry for taking long" You apologized walking over to give them hugs
"No worries!" Natalie said holding you tightly, she was the only one who knew.
"Where to?" Ilya asked david as the three of you walked out of your house
"Urth Cafe?" Natalie suggested
"Sounds good!" David grinned grabbing your hand as he led you towards the passenger seat of his tesla
You shifted uncomfortably and moved closer to Natalie making David pause with a confused look on his face.
"I just want to sit with Nat today David" You apologetically smiled "We haven't spoke in a few days"
David nodded in understanding and began to mess around with Ilya as everyone got situated. Natalie took hold of your hand giving it a light squeeze as you looked at your feet. David's phone buzzed during the ride making his eyes snap to it quickly. You didn't miss the way he made sure you weren't looking at him before checking it.
"You okay?" Natalie lowly said
"Honestly, no." You frowned "I don't know if I can do this anymore Nat"
"You should talk to him then" She said "He needs to hear it"
You nodded at her words as you just held her hand for comfort. As you guys arrived Natalie offered to go order and get seats for you guys with Ilya, purposely making it so that you had to talk to David.
"Hey, you okay?" David asked wrapping his arms around your waist "You're acting weird"
"I think we should save this conversation for later" You mumble prying his arms off your waist
"Y/N, what's going on?" David said gently gripping your wrist
"I don't want to talk about it here David" You said
His grip got tighter as he looked at you, his eyes clouded with anger and confusion. He pulled you closer examining you. Your breath hitched as he got closer to your ear. He lightly chuckled as he noticed the look of panic on your face.
"Tell me now" He demanded
"You're the problem" You whispered "You have been acting so cruel towards me"
"I give you everything" He snaps pushing you back a bit
"You won't let me go David!" You screamed "Just let me go"
"You know I can't do that" David said "I love you, you aren't leaving me"
"David, it happened three months ago." You cried out "You have to let go"
"No" David said tears in his eyes "I can't lose you again"
"I've been dead for three months. You can't keep living like this"
"I don't know who I am without you" He cried as his voice cracked
"I love you david" You sadly smiled "Just let me go"
Every word hit David like a truck, all the memories he had suppressed and all the pain he refused to feel cane barelling towards him. He was a victim to his own neglect as he remembered the sound of your screams, the breaking of glass and crunching of metal. The last image he had of you barely alive stuck in his head. The memory of burying you mocking him.
"David!" Natalie screamed bringing david back to reality.
His eyes wide and filled with panic as he searched for you, in this reality where you were gone. Natalie watched him with sad eyes as she realized he was having an episode again.
"Where is she?" David screamed "Where's Y/N?"
"David, we've talked about this" Natalie calmly says "Y/N passed away three months ago"
"No! She was right here Natalie, I saw her, you saw her too!" He yelled gripping his hair as tears fell down his cheeks
"David, you need to breathe okay?" Natalie said slowly approaching him
"No! She's not gone, she can't be gone" He growled "Whatd you do to her?"
"David, Y/N passed away in the car crash you guys had three months ago" Ilya said as he rushed in to the living room
Natalie secretly holding the sedative that he was to be given when in this state. His wild eyes focused on Ilya momentarily before darting around looking for you. Natalie quickly injected the sedative in his arm making David jump. His body tending and then relaxing as the quick working sedative began to hit.
"I'm only half of me" David frowned "I just want her back"
"We know David, we do too" Ilya said holding his best friend.
David felt more tears fall from his eyes as he fell into a state of tranquility. Hopefully when he woke up, he'd see you again.
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Soooo I had no idea what I was doing with this but I did it. I wanted to throw y'all through a big ass loop lmao
Also I'm pretty sure this book is flopping bc I don't update as much :/
