Beatles WG Oneshots

Cook of the House

Moving to the countryside was the best decision of Paul's life. Only a few days ago he was under so much stress dealing with the public asking about the Beatles breakup, if he had any grudges against Yoko, and of course Allen giving him nightmares.

He could barely eat or sleep, that is until he met Linda Eastman. She was what he needed, her and little Heather. She stuck by the bearded bassist through the thick and thin, cradling him if he ever had Allen invading his dreams. The city life was getting to busy for him, so it was decided they'd spend a while far from news reporters and fans in an old Scottish farmhouse.

Now he could finally relax, he would be either playing with little Heather, strumming his guitar or riding his horse, Honor. Linda enjoyed the simple life as well, being with all the animals and seeing her husband getting back on his feet. "Not to mention all the fresh food, crops right out of our yard and whenever we need eggs, we just go pick them from the coop." She smiled.

With nothing more to do but relax, she decided to take her time to create new recipes. "Maybe I might even publish my own cookbook, full of all the dishes I came up with. Oh! But I need to make sure they taste good, I'll need someone to try them out for me." She thought.

Looking out the window, she noticed Paul was still looking quite frail even after leaving his worries behind. "Maybe a feast will be the pick me up he needs before we have to get back."

Getting everything out of the cupboards, she got to work perfecting a vegetarian feast. "Sausages are just tubes of mashed up meat in a casing. I can just replace them with different veggies, use some breading to hold it all together and maybe use the artificial casings used for kosher sausages. And the Shepherd's Pie can have just veggies in it, and let's not forget the mashed potatoes on their own!"

It was hard work coming up with all new recipes, but it was worth seeing a job well done. The entire table was full of veggie treats and dishes. And that's not even getting into the dessert. Hey, how come there's no dessert?

"I was too exhausted to bake, besides the oven needs a break. Now let's hope the smell brings Paul right here to taste it all. I hope he likes it."

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"Alright oh! No peaking now Paul, I want this to be the best surprise you've ever had." Linda giggled, helping her blindfolded husband reach the table. "Can I look now?"

Kissing his bearded cheek, Linda removed the blindfold and chuckled at how shocked he looked. "I hope it's not too much, but don't worry, you only need to taste them."

"Oh my.. You made all this yourself? It all smells so delicious!"

"It's all Linda quality, I was hoping to try out some new treats. Meatless treats to be made into an entire cookbook, if they're good anyways."

Grabbing a fork, Paul scooped up some veggie sausage with mashed potatoes. "Mmm.. So delicious!" He moaned, up next was the fried spinach and arugula with plenty of garlic.

"Wow! This is like green heaven!"

"That's how I was able to get Heather to eat spinach, I don't get how anyone can think of it as the worst food ever when bacon exists." Linda smiled.

Afterwards was the Brussels sprouts casserole, then the squash and sweet potatoes roasted to perfection. And who could forget what will happen next?

That being Paul's belly surging outwards, even though all the food was veggies, they were covered in breadcrumbs or fried which made it quite fattening. He grew a big paunch, a rounder booty, thighs that could rival John's or Ringo's and a couple double chin under his beard.

"Ooooh.. Hope you don't mind I licked some of the plates clean, it was all just so irresistible!" Paul moaned, rubbing his sore belly, he hadn't noticed it until he finally finished.

"Aw, does someone need a belly rub?" Helping him to the couch, Linda laid him down and kneeded his doughy gut. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, I know I did."

"Aw.. I love you Linda. My cook of the house. Next time I wanna help out baking a big cake!"

"I love you too Paulie. My wonderful taste testing husband."