Beatles WG Oneshots

Oh Latkes Latkes Latkes

As the Beatles finally wrapped up their tour and returned home, John decided to pay a visit to their manager. "I know it's not even close to Christmas yet and we don't celebrate Thanksgiving in the UK, but considering how early everyone keeps putting up their decorations every year I guess Christmas is lasting all December long now." He chuckled to himself as he reached Brian's house.

As he approached the front door, he could smell the familiar scent of potatoes being deep fried. "Ooh, perfect timing! Smells like Eppy is making fish and chips in there. Hope he brought the tartar sauce and vinegar." However as he walked in, he saw Brian had a menorah placed on the dining table, two of the candles on it already lit. "Huh? That's a funny looking candle holder, but it looks like he forgot to light them all. Hey Brian? I just wanted to drop by and say hi."

The awkward older man jumped at the sound of John's voice, but it soon grew into a soft smile. "Oh how nice of you, you're just in time! I finished making a nice, hot batch of latkes. They're best right out of the oil." He replied, bringing over the platter full of potato pancakes.

"Latkes? I thought you were making chips in there."

"Oh, I guess it slipped my mind to tell you what today is. Three days ago was the start of Hanukkah, a popular holiday celebrated by Jewish people much like myself." Brian explained. "We also call it the Festival Of Lights, the menorah and its candles are meant to show the miracle of how a little bit of oil that was meant to last for one day ended up lasting eight days a week. There is a lot more to it obviously, but a whole explanation might make this fic over two thousand words long. It's also a time for us to feast together as a family."

"Is that where those potato things come from? Because they smell so good! You got anything I can dip them in? Not ketchup I hope, can't stand that sweet stuff with savoury chips."

Smiling, Brian got out a saucer of sour cream. "We also like to eat it with applesauce, but I know how you feel about apples without their crispiness." He chuckled, watching as John stuffed his face with the fried goodness. "Do you like? I was worried I added a tad too much black pepper, my mum used to joke a lot about British people being unable to handle much spice."

"Oh I love it! Got anything to go with it? Like a bread?"

"Oh I could have made some challah but I was all out of egg yolks. But I have some matzo ball soul on the stove, they're nice and juicy in the broth."

Three big matzo balls were soaked in hot chicken broth, all gone right down John's throat in a flash, burning his tongue and bloating his belly. Next he had a whole tray of beef brisket, after that was a basket of cheese filled knishes, finally for dessert was a generous helping of sufganiyots with some chocolate filled rugelaches. All the excessive oils complete with those sugary desserts was perfect for bloating up the already rather chubby Beatle into a larger blob of a man. His face was coated in grease and crumbs, all five of his chins along with his jelly filled doughnut sized cheeks.

His gut was stuffed to the brim, tinted red from how much it stretched to fit such a large amount of Hanukkah dishes, it would take a lot of digesting for it to soften up enough for Eppy to sleep on. Most of the blubber wound up at his thunder thighs and blubber butt, they were bloated enough to tear right through the thick leather jeans he was wearing.

Brian couldn't help but blush as he watched John's clothes slowly tear to pieces before his very eyes, it was a miracle that his boxer shorts managed to hold despite how enormous he was. "Well.. This is certainly a unique way to celebrate the third night, umm. You did leave a little something for me right?"

"Yep! Two of those jelly doughnuts, a bowl of soup and some more of the latkes. You gotta teach me how to make them! Oooh.. I sure ate a lot." John moaned, rubbing his sore belly. "Can you give me a massage?"

"Of course Johnny, just lie down and I'll help you digest." Brian cooed, kneeding down the bloated Beatle's softness. "There we go, you're starting to soften up now. How about you spend the night here? I'll call Cyn and tell her where you are."

"Mmm, thanks Eppy."