Beatles WG Oneshots

Farm Fresh

While it was rough no longer being part of a band, Paul had to admit it was nice to no longer have to worry about a set schedule. Now he could just relax for days at a time, especially now that he and Linda had a getaway out in the Scottish countryside, there were no reporters for miles and no John to comment on how he really needs a shave. The best part of spending time on the farm was that all the food was the freshest one could have, eggs from grain fed chickens, wheat ground right out of the mill and plenty of large potatoes to name a few.

Linda got to create a new cookbook out of everything they made out of their crops with Paul as her avid taste tester, noting how thin he had become since they met. The mashed potatoes were an instant favourite for the former Beatle, but he felt that there was just something missing in the recipe. "Very light and fluffy with just enough milk and butter to make it rich but not too filling, but it doesn't have much taste no matter how much pepper I put in it." He thought one morning. Linda was out tending to the horses while Paul decided to take it upon himself to try and recreate her mashed potato recipe. "I bet one day a ton of fans are gonna watch me do this and ask what the hell I'm doing here."

He had everything he needed, well more than enough with two entire bags of potatoes on the kitchen counter. "I love her mashed spuds but they could use a bit of spicing up. Not too much though, British people can't handle spice very well." Paul joked to himself. "Alright the potatoes should be soft enough now, I wonder what else I can add to them besides salt."

For some reason he didn't think to just make a single batch and separate it into different bowls for each addition, either he really loved mashed potatoes or they were running out of space for the tubers in their cellar. Whatever the reason he must have made seven batches at least, each doused in plenty of butter and cream (they happened to have run out of milk that day and he needed a substitute) just to add on the calories. First up was was some minced garlic Linda kept in a jar, unfortunately it didn't mix very well in the batch, resulting in very strong tasting bits in every spoonful. The red pepper flakes were next to much the same results, of course he couldn't just waste some perfectly good mashed potatoes even with the additions that didn't do much to improve the taste, thus he had to finish off every bowl he made.

"Besides, no one likes cold spuds. Ah! I wonder if this sour cream will do it, it'll definitely add some creaminess to it if anything." Paul figured, although his beard was starting to get bits of potato on it he figured he could wash it off later in the bath. However he didn't stop to think about how large his gut was becoming, all the heavy root veggies slathered in so much fatty dairy went right down to his waistline with haste. All the sour cream he added to his latest batch didn't help matters one bit, his shirt was now starting to strain at the seems with his belly pooching outwards.

The next batch full of garam masala only added onto the fat layers, his double chin was mostly covered up by his soft beard but his cheeks had become rounder and more defined. His already round bottom was tripling in size with every bite he took, coupled with his newfound thunder thighs his pants tore at the seems, letting his soft fat pour out of the rips. Even his arms were starting to fatten up with flabby folds tearing out of his new wool sweater, he would have been completely nude if it weren't for his surprisingly stretchy boxer shorts keeping a hold of his expanding frame. "Finally! Turns out she was just missing some onion in her spuds, it really brings out the taste without being too strong."

Wondering what all the commotion was about, Linda entered the kitchen to find her husband now five times his usual size and in nothing but his underwear. "Oh my, he really is a bear now." Linda giggled, reaching over to pinch his bubble butt. "Aren't you a cutie?"

"AH!! Oh hi Linda, I was making your mashed potatoes and... Well.. I guess I got a little carried away with it." Paul blushed, trying to hide his flabby belly by tucking it in as best as he could. "Err, you think you can put onions in your next batch of mashed potatoes?"

She simply smiled, giving him a kiss on his soft cheek and snuggling him from behind. "I can definitely do that, but we're gonna need a lot more potatoes for it. Oh! And your breath could use a mint too." She chuckled, watching as Paul blushed harder from the remark. "Just joking, I don't mind it one bit."