It's The Falling in Love

Chapter One-Hundred and Fifteen

May 20th 

Dear Journal,

The last month has been very interesting. I feel like all I am capable of doing is staying at home.

I've taken time off of modeling... Again. I'm focusing on family. I don't know how much time I have left. I hate thinking that but you're the only thing I can, I guess, say it to. Michael wouldn't want to hear that and I know damn well my kids shouldn't here that.

Mark was saddened, telling me I was his "best model" but I just can't. He understands though that I'm all for family.. He just doesn't know exactly why I am. 

So, I've been spending my days here at Neverland. I bring the girls outside while Adjo is at school and Michael is rehearsing. The girls and I have a blast! They keep me running, I'll tell ya that! We run all through the gardens, ride all the rides! It's fantastic. On days when Michael doesn't rehearse, we bring sick children to Neverland and let them ride and be free for a day. It's great because I can be a kid again with Michael and the children. I've been so focused on my illness lately that it makes me feel so old. I can't do much but I'm pushing myself to.

Adjo is finishing school soon then he'll be moving on the eighth grade, I think. Either way, he's growing up fast! Still our slim, tall boy but he has little muscles on his arms and a strong heart. He reminds me of Michael when him and his brothers were younger. They all were slim and tall with little muscles. 

Just like this one picture of Jermaine and Michael during the Jackson Five era. Michael has his arm up showing his muscles. It was very cute and I had that photo in my closet so Michael couldn't see it. I know, I know.. That's weird but other girls did it too!

Speaking of Adjo..

Today is another very special day in the Jackson's home.. You know why? It's Adjo's thirteenth birthday! Woo! I can't believe my baby is thirteen already. Sure, I don't know what he was like as a little one but boy has he brought so much joy into our family.

Three children.. That's a magic number right there.

There are so many birthdays in May in our family, I never knew!

Jackie celebrated his on the fourth, Rose celebrated her fourth birthday on the 5th, Janet celebrated her's on the sixteenth, and Rebbie and LaToya celebrated their birthday yesterday! I've been very tired lately but I have so much peace when I'm around so much of our family.

Of course, some of the Jackson's don't celebrate their birthdays still because of the Jehovah's Witness. Michael and I are making sure we celebrate our children's.

Michael is still working on his Dangerous World Tour but he took today off to celebrate Adjo's life. Here it is, our first teenager of the house! Adjo is a very kind and smart kid but eventually the attitude of a teenager will catch up to him. I know it will but I'm not sure if Michael knows it yet. 

I turn around, staring at my door.

I better go for now journal. I'll write back to you later.

Love,

Mia May Jackson xxx. 

I shut my journal, placing it back in the drawers. 

I sigh loudly, slowly standing up from the bed.

My knees begin to shake uncontrollably. I hold onto the dresser, trying my best to walk towards the door.

I stare down at my legs. I've never realized my legs were this bony.. Jeez.. 

I take a deep breath, slowly talking towards the door. I grab my walking stick as I open the door, exiting from my bedroom.