It's The Falling in Love

Chapter Ninety-Five

I stare outside, staring down at the clouds as the plane flies smoothly. 

I frown, sighing softly. I do want kids but Michael has a point. I really wanted our dream. I feel accomplished as a mother after coming from a failed childhood. I would've thought risking it all would be grand. 

I feel a warm touch on my cold hand.

I furrow my eyebrows, slowly turning my head to my right. 

Michael stares at me in the dime lighting of the airplane lights. "Mia, talk to me." He says.

I stare at him. 

"You've been quiet since the funeral. This isn't healthy, please." He softly begs.

I sigh. "I just don't understand how you could change your mind about children so fast." I softly say, turning my body towards him.

Michael sighs, "Mia.." He softly says.

"No, Michael.. I-I mean it. I thought our dream would be to live a normal life and have a huge family." I say. 

I sigh. "That's what I wanted, at least. We always used to talk about our future when we were kids, don't you remember? You got your dreams and I-" I stop myself. 

"You what?" Michael asks.

I sigh, "I... I didn't get mine." I softly say.

"I got partial and some of it didn't go as plan." I let out a nervous chuckle.

"I wanted a huge family and to be that overdoing, loving mother, you know? I wanted the life we never got, the family we never got, Michael! I wanted it to be you and me and a ton of kids." I smirk.

"A ton of beautiful, caring children that we'd love unconditionally." I say, staring into the distance.

Michael frowns.

"Just tell me why again, please.." I softly say, looking down at the floor.

Michael sighs, "Mia, having children isn't so easy in both of our situations. You need to understand again that you're ill. I hate treating you like you're ill and I honestly do try not to treat you like that but it's the truth, baby. Don't you remember what you used to say to me? What you used to worry about?" He furrows his eyebrows.

My eyes widen.

"You used to tell me all the time how you were scared to have children, scared to have more children because of your illness. You were scared because you wanted to live a full life and see your children. You wanted to not give your illness to your children. Don't you remember that, Mia?" Michael stresses.

"Now it's like our roles switched, you want more children and I don't." 

His words stung my heart. Am I that bad? Is that the reason why? Am I so ill that Michael can't bare to have anymore children? I don't understand.. 

He holds onto both of my hands. "I love children, Mia. Children have the face of God to me, you know that. So innocent and pure but.." He sighs.

"As much as it was our dream to have more children and no matter how much I do want more children, it's just not possible anymore.." Michael frowns.

"I-I want to risk it, Michael! I want more children, you deserve more children. I-" I slowly start to cry.

Michael gently rubs my arm. "I don't want you to feel pressured about all the things I've said in the past." Michael softly says.

"I'm not, Michael. I truly want more children. We have such a huge home. It's our dream." I weakly smile.

Michael frowns, "It was our dream." He gently says.