Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Recreation Chapter 18: Hang Time

Fade in to the alien firing a minigun in the temple

Sarge: Grif, listen, we may not both make it out of this.

Grif: What?

Sarge: If you die, I think I'm prepared to live with that. I've practiced it a lot. But there's also a chance you might survive and I won't.

Grif: There'd be a better chance if you'd help me shoot.

Sarge: In case I don't make it, I can't help but think about all the future mistakes you're gonna make, that I'm not gonna be there to scream at you about.

Grif: Oh stop, I'm getting all teary-eyed.

Sarge: I just wanna let you know that in my bunk back at the base there's a recorder deck. I've prerecorded about fifty-seven hours of rants that should be applicable, in a variety of situations. Whenever you're feeling good about yourself, I want you to play one. And always remember, somebody hates you.

The alien continues firing, but stops when Church shows up in front of him

Church: Oh hey, alien, what's up?

The alien drops his chaingun and kneels, grunting as only these aliens can do

Ghost: Everyone stop firing!

Tucker: Cease fire!

Church: Um, the alien's being weird in here.

Grif: What's it doing?

Tucker: No no, I've seen this before. Some of the aliens worship this ancient technology. This one probably thinks Church is some sorta God.

Church: Wow, seriously? That's pretty fucking cool.

Ghost: The elites have always worshiped the Technology of the Forerunners

Caboose: Who are the-

Ghost: Shut up.

Caboose: Hhh- Maybe that's why your name is Church!

Church: Oh what's up praying dude? How do you like me now-

Church levitates the box and rams it into the face of the alien

Church: Bip- aw!

Tucker: Doubleyou Tee Fuck, why did you do that? I think that's taking advantage of your diety status dude.

Church: Well what good is being a God if you can't smite some people? Let's have fun.

Ghost: I'm with church... What I like to kill people... I think i'm part psychopath.

This makes all the boys take a step back while the girls just stay by his side

Voice: The shots came from down here!

C.T.: Right, form up men!

Sarge: Whoa, incoming.

Church: Good luck guys!

Church backs out of the way as the evil dudes show up

C.T.: Freeze! Lower your weapons.

More guys show up, mostly aliens

C.T.: You... Do you have any idea how much trouble you've caused me? I should kill you right here.

Church: Somebody's getting killed? I wanna watch.

C.T.: You activated it?

Church: Activated what?

C.T.: Secure the relic! Don't let it get away.