Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Season 2 Episode 33: An Audience of Dumb

Tucker in Sheila is advancing on the red base, with Ghost & Lopez running along

Tucker: Ah, Sheila, we have to slow down or we're gonna run in to that jeep!

Sheila: Please, take evasive action. Please, take evasive action.

Tucker: You take evasive action. Hey Lopez, help me out, can't you talk to her?

Lopez: Perdóneme, pero no puedo hablar con mujeres bella.

Caption: I'm sorry. I'm not good at talking to beautiful women.

Lopez: Porque sudo.

Caption: I get sweaty.

Sheila: Only Ghost is allowed to call me beautiful you stupid robot.

Cut to Donut and Grif huddling behind the jeep for warmth (hiding from the tank)

Donut: Well old buddy, it looks like this is the end for us. Since we're gonna die anyway, there's only one thing left for us to do. Grif-

Grif: If you actually suggest what I think you're about to suggest, I'll just have to kill myself.

Donut: Let's make a break for it!

Grif: (sigh of relief) In that case let's go on three. That's worked well for me in the past.

Donut: Okay, you count.

Grif: Fine, but don't look at me while I count, because, I get nervous.

Grif turns away from Donut, who runs away

Grif: One... Two... (turns around and sees Donut has already fled) That son of a bitch. He beat me at my own game.

Tucker: Curses!

The tank hits the jeep, sending it and Grif flying, as well as Lopez

Lopez: (in flight) Ayayay... Frejoles.

Donut runs in to the red base, with Simmons and Sarge

Sarge: Good golly Miss Molly, what is going on out there?

Donut: Sir. The blues are attacking with their tank. Th they blew up the Warthog. Again.

Simmons: I wonder what jeeps ever did to those guys.

Donut: Grif and I just barely had enough time to make it outta there. Right Grif? Uh, uh... Grif?

Fade to Caboose's mind

Church: Why the hell did they pair me up with you?

Mental Church: I want to keep my eye on you! I don't trust gigantic turds to try and steal my best friend you rimjob!

Church: Well... This is going to be a great trip...

They walk to where the Reds are only to see mental Ghost standing there guarding the exit

Church: Ghost?

Metal Church: Has that blowjobbing cockbite come back yet!

Mental Ghost: No he hasn't... Also yell at me again and I'll rip your fucking throat out.

Metal church: Don't threaten me you cockbite! I well get the great Caboose to kill you along with the other red!

Metal Ghost: How about you shut your mouth before I get Valkyrie and Orphelia to hurt you again.

Metal church: Oh God help them!

Valkyrie: Yeah shut up or I'll rip out every organ in your body and then beat your dead corpse with your spine!