Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Season 5 Episode 85: Yellow Fever

Fade in to the Reds and Grif's Sister

Simmons: Oh my God what's wrong with you, why didn't you tell us you were a Blue?

Grif's Sister: Because-

Simmons: And don't say "because nobody asked"

Grif's Sister: But nobody did ask!

Simmons: God dammit.

Grif: So what if she is a Blue? We'll still keep her.

Simmons: We can't do that. She's on the other team, she'll kill us in our sleep if we keep her.

Grif's Sister: Do I get to do that? That would be awesome! Ghost taught me how to kill people even some of his moves and techniques on how to kill.

Grif: ... ... ... No she wouldn't. Besides she's colour-blind. We'll just tell her we're Blues.

Simmons: Uh, hello, we already told her we're Red? Idiot.

Grif: Yeah? Well she's fucking dumb, too. Hey, we're Blue now.

Grif's Sister: Woohoo, go Blue, let's win!

Grif: See?

Simmons: Oh please, she'll figure it out.

Grif: No she won't. In high school she got kicked off of the cheerleading squad three times for rooting for the wrong team.

Simmons: No, she can't stay. I know, we'll tell the Blues that we took her prisoner. Maybe we can get something outta this mess.

Grif: No way, we can't send her over there, they'll kill her!

Simmons: Why would they kill her Grif, she's Blue. It's not like the Blue team goes around killing its own members.

Grif: Oh, right, because she's a Blue. And if she's over there, then the only people that would be trying to kill her, would be us.

Simmons: Exactly.

Grif: And that means she'd be safe. Because we're like the shittiest team ever.

Simmons: Well, I don't know about that. As our new leader, I have some pretty bold plans to-

Grif: But you're not the leader. It was a misunderstanding. You're the guy who buried our leader.

Simmons: You helped! We're in this together.

Grif: No, I made digging noises with my mouth. Remember?

Simmons: Oh God, get me a shovel! (runs off toward the base)

Grif: Yeah, um... Okay, you're a Blue.

Grif's Sister: Touchdown! Woohoo, go Blue!

Grif: No, I mean we're Red, but you're Blue. That means you've gotta get outta here before Simmons digs up Sarge.

Grif's Sister: I love digging, I want to help.

Grif: No, you're leaving.

Grif's Sister: Where're we going?

Grif: The other base.

Grif's Sister: The Red base?

Grif: No, the Blue base.

Grif's Sister: We have two bases? Awesome!

Grif: Move!

Cut to Church and Caboose on top of a hill near Blue base as Tucker approaches