Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Season 4 Episode 67: Setting a High Bar

Fade in to some burnt looking plains

Andy:    Hey, he's been explaining to me everything we should encounter. The legend's pretty old, but the details are pretty clear.

Tucker: Listen dude, I don't care what you say, I'm not killing any monsters.

Andy:    Hey, don't interrupt! It's hard enough to translate without yo-

Tucker: Oh well if this little quest depends on me killing stuff, we might as well just stop here.

Andy:    Eh, don't be a chicken.

Tucker: I'm not chicken. I'm just... okay, I'm chicken.

Ghost: You are absolutely pathetic.

Tucker: Why do you hate me so much.

Ghost: It's because you're so fucking annoying, being a chicken doesn't help with your own situation.

Trut'aik: Blarh? B-blar blarg.

Caption: <what is this chicken they speak of bomb>

Andy:    Blargy blarg, blarg, blarg honk.

Caption: <It's an ugly white bird that they eat. They also eat the disgusting white thing that they crap out>

Trut'aik: Wharg hnnk!

Caption: <that is disgusting>

Tucker: What's he saying?

Andy:    He wanted to know what a chicken is. I told him it's this nasty little bird that humans eat. And you also eat the white things that shoot out of its butt.

Tucker: You know you could have cleaned that up a little bit.

Andy:    I did! They don't come out of its butt you know.

Trut'aik: Hargh!

Caption: <humans are disgusting>

Andy:    Heh yeah, they're pretty disgusting.

Tucker: Chickens aren't that bad.

Andy:    He was talkin' about you guys. He's not a big fan. I'm not either.

Trut'aik: Hrnk.

Caption: <Earth sucks>

Andy:    Earth sucks.

Tucker: Hsh, Earth does not suck, Earth rules. We invented the telephone.

Trut'aik: Arg l largh.

Caption: <As did we. But invented it a thousand years before your race did.>

Andy:    She says they invented the telephone too. And they did it a thousand years before you did.

Tucker: Oh, well what'd they have to say on it, "blarg blarg honk honk?" Who the fuck wants to hear that?

Ghost: All right I can't believe I'm gonna say this but: I really wish I was with my team!

Andy:    Okay. These are the Great Burning Plains we talked about.

Caboose: They don't look burning... they look burnt. Hey, I recognize this place.

Ghost: Yeah this is a place where the bomb exploded and sent us in the "future"... I still don't know how that's possible.

Andy:    Get ready. Trut'aik and Ghost are gonna distract the monster, and you use your heroic powers to swoop in-

Tucker: Heroic powers?

Andy:    Yeah. You're the big hero from that prophecy, ain't cha?

Tucker: Oh right. Boy are you guys gonna be disappointed. (draws the sword)