Sold Out (GxG) (Editing)

Chapter 40

I could blast. My emotions are in a turmoil. I don't know what the fuck is going on.

I cuddled with Alex every single day but now it feels strange. Like, for real, I don't fucking know her?

Why am I here? What the fuck was my purpose? I'm KNEES weak when I'm with her, but when she's away I feel fucking lost.

My knees buckled as I reminisced on the memories I'd made with her.

Like, my feelings towards her are not even true? Ha? And after all of that, I decided to look up Samuel West on social media.

That sucker is from London too, ALEX IS FROM LONDON TOO. Jane couldn't be totally wrong if Alex actually is an undercover who came to Amsterdam to chase Sam.

Now he's not here, anymore and Alex subtly dropped this that she 'won't be around too long'. Like, my life is being played? By fucking strangers?

My heart clenched within. Nevertheless writing my thoughts out did give me insight.

I texted my mates. I wasn't sure if I wanted to invite them over again but I really needed to talk things out.

And these are things you don't take to therapy. I'm so fucked.

-

Elijah: Was everything okay, yesterday? My coworker told me she came looking for us..

Rose: Not exactly, she was scared shitless until she found me..

Jane: Did she hurt you?

Rose: No.. I don't know what to feel for her, anymore.. I'm scared.

Elijah: You can stay over with either of us, if you feel unsafe.

Rose: The fact that I feel so incredibly safe with her is the scary part. I don't know what to do..

Jane: Talk to her? Don't trust everything she says, please..

-

Alex lay on the bed, casually rocking insane pen tricks around her fingers. I sat on her chair, admiring.

"Stylus..", she said and stopped playing with it, "I thought you liked to doodle a lot? You can use this.."

My heart warmed. Her cheek flushed into the sheets, while her glasses struggled to stay on her nose.

"Thank you", I smiled. I reminded myself to not go too close to her and lose myself like everytime.

"Do you wanna dine out, tonight? It's been a while we hung out.."

I felt bad. I'd been neglecting us since I made friends. She at least deserved my time. After all, she was the first person who treated me right after all that..

"Okay.."

"You wanted make up?"

My cheeks blushed. She was asking me out on a date?

"I- sure.."

"Sure?"

"I mean- yes.."

Her smile turned into a smirk, slowly, "you're answering a question that's in your head.."

My heart skipped a beat.

"You can't read my mind, Alex..", I reflected her smile.

"I wish I could..", she sat up.

"Why, exactly?", I smirked.

"What are you thinking about me?", she whispered slowly and I started losing myself in her eyes.