Sold Out (GxG) (Editing)

Chapter 24

Dreaming is fluid. It's hazy.. blurry.. and fluid. A slippery.. drowning.. fluid. Is it blue? Or is it white? It wavers between mild darkness and bright light.

"FUCK!", I jolted upright.

"Rose!", she rushed to the bed.

"No.. no, no, no, no- please let it be, please let it be..", I shut my eyes in frustration.

"O-okay.. what happened?"

"Nothing. Fuck. Please leave me alone, goddamnit", my head was blasting inside.

"Okay.."

"What do you mean, 'okay'? Stop!"

"Stop what? D'you want me to leave? Do you need anything?-"

"Fuck! Goddamnit, Alex.. just- stop being so fucking nice all the time. I can't..", I buried my face in my hands.

"I'll leave, okay? You can sort your head out.."

She turned before leaving, "if you need anyth-"

"I know! I know! Goddamnit..", I held my head in my hands. The door clicked and she left.

Fluid is red. Fuck.

I shot up from the bed and took off my pants at once. The stains were still fresh, I could wash them off.

Alex couldn't know. Alex couldn't fucking know.

I cleaned up, took a shower and thankfully, found pads in the washroom. I felt ashamed and I didn't understand why.

The sheets were already changed. I got even more infuriated. I wondered if I ever had felt this angry ever in my life.

I flopped onto the bed. None of this was mine. Clothes, bed, sheets..

I sat on the bed, piled underneath the sheets, while my emotional organs clenched within myself.

I stared at nothing.

The door gently opened, Alex stepped in with a tray. Nice Alex.. the last thing I want, right now.

"Pancakes.. aaand.. I know you hate me being nice but please..", she set the tray in front of me, "hot chocolate.."

I looked up at her and she had the most genuine of smiles on her face and I just hated my gut for being such an asshole.

"I love pancakes..", I said slowly.

Literally breakfast in bed.. why?

My heart clenched again, my features softened and tears slipped down my face.. I got even more angry.

"Hey..", Alex whispered, "I'm sorry.."

Some real.. hot.. tears..

Salty.. salty fluid..

Alex came closer and hugged me from the side. I couldn't push her away. I didn't know if I wanted to.

I rested my face in the crook of her neck and cried.

"Hey, we got this, okay?", she soothed, "you don't have to do anything.. just let me handle it, okay?", she pulled away to look at me, "you trust me?"

I couldn't say anything to that. I looked into her eyes and she wiped my tears.

What harm did she ever do to me? Why can't I trust her?

Yet again.. why do you have to wait for someone to hurt you to know if you can trust them or not?

-

"It's Friday.. do you still want to go to therapy?", she looked at me, intently.

"Yes.."

I mostly felt numb, or angry.. the whole ride to the centre was silent.. achingly quiet. Alex wasn't even trying.

"Say something..", I looked outside the window.

"You look pretty today.."

As if she had nudged my physical heart, I turned to give her a look.. but I melted at her smile again.

"And you're frustratingly cute.. thank you..", I stared back outside. No, I didn't sound as mad. I felt prettier.

Alex chuckled, "well, that's an interesting compliment!"

I smiled. She's cute.

-

"And what about you, Rose? You seem a bit off today.."

"I'm very off.. I'm mad. I'm very mad.."

"Something happen? How's everything with Alexis?", Elijah asked.

"Alex.. and..", I sighed, "I didn't tell you guys a lot about Alex the first time because it was a bit personal to me and I couldn't trust anyone easily.."

I looked up, Veronica nodded, reassuringly. I took a deep breath and began.. with the whole story of how we met..

"A girl?", "Yes, a girl! Sorry if it's a disappointment?"

Of how we began to know each other..

"You like Taylor?"

The iPad Pro..

"You're worth more than what I got you for. You're not an item to be sold.."

The funny moments..

"Oh, no.. don't tell me there was a limit.."

The romance..

"I could kiss you..", "Would you, though?", "Almost.."

The nightmares..

"It's okay.. everything's fine.."

The teasing..

"How about you try this one?", The Romantic Psychopath..

The tension..

"It's mine now..", "Is it?"

Her very British-self..

"Wonky.. I like that.."

The author, herself..

"And what did God put you through for all this maturity?", "I'm literally a poet.."

The fights..

"There's only two things I fucking care about - you and some fucking respect!"

And the call..

"The plan is going a bit too well. She trusts me too much.. I'm not sure, anymore.."

And how that one sentence, flushed out half of my feelings at once.

I poured my heart out, tears streamed down my face, I smiled, I giggled at the memory of us, and if I wasn't in love before, I sure as hell was now.

"And I don't know how to feel anymore.."

"Wow..", I heard Emily speak. Silence lingered the air briefly.

"I am.. not sure what to say", Jane folded her arms. Everybody was surprised, that was the least to say.

"I mean.. she sounds like a nice woman..", Katherine spoke in her soft, aged voice.

"Whatever that you think is right, whatever that you do, just know that we support you, okay?", Elijah put her arm around my shoulder to comfort me, "we've always got your back!"

I looked at her and into her eyes. I needed that human affection. Her radiant smile spread across her chocolate brown face.

"You have beautiful skin", as though the world had dissolved and I had found a friend.

"That's the best compliment I've ever recieved.."