Until you {uncompleted}

Chapter 39

I was sitting cross legged on the bed trying to calm myself. The room around me was utter chaos. The tie was flung on the table out on the balcony with the knife I used to slash it. I thought about taking the knife inside with me in case he came back tonight but decided against it. I never used the same trick twice especially if it failed.

The room was recked. Everything was upturned. And the heavy armchairs I couldn't move I slashed at with a shard of glass from the broken table lamp on the floor. Half the French glass doors were shattered and the other half was threatening to fall any second. His entire wall of bookshelves were empty. The books lay on the floor like defeated soldiers.

The only thing I regretted breaking was his bottle of perfume. I grabbed everything on the mantle and threw it at the wall. When I reached the bottle I flung it at the mirror standing over two feet tall in the corner of the room. His sweet and woodsy smell enveloped the room like a cloud of desire. Fuck him and his intoxicating scent. I knew it was a mistake trusting him. I must have been mad thinking for a second this could ever end with me not screwed over.

"God damn it" I yelled and banged my head back on the headboard. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Then regretted it immediately when all it did was drag his scent back into my lungs. I heared the door open then close. I didn't think he'd come back tonight.

He was silent, taking in the room. Then he sighed and leaned against the door. " You know since trashing the room didn't seem to help seeing that you're still seething. You might want to try throwing one of those glass bedtables out the balcony. The big bang will probably help."

I opened my eyes to look at him. "They were too heavy to move." I told him evenly. "The mirror made 'a big bang' it didn't help. I guess I won't feel better until..." I forgot what I was saying when I saw him sauntering over. His tall frame, broad shoulders and rippling muscles made everying in me freeze. He didn't have to rush at me to intimidate. His barely controlled anger and the fire leaping from his usually freezing Grey eyes made me shiver. I glanced away. I would not show fear. I held my breath when he sat down across from me on the bed. His knees were touching mine. Whatever he says. I won't listen. I will hold back. I will never be able to walk away with my sister if I killed him. What I did earlier was idiotic. 

"Nila." he said. A few minutes passed but I refused to look at him. I fisted the sheets under me. Praying I could stop myself from lunging at his neck with my freshly manicured nails. He untangled my fingers from the sheets and captured my hand in his. "Look at me." he ordered. I refused to even blink. He tugged me towards him and I pushed him away with my other hand. He held the back of my neck and forced me to face him. "Nila. Look. At. Me." he gritted out.

"Why?" I yelled at him. "So you could tell me more lies." My eyes caught his. They were wild and beautiful and I hated how I could still see the beauty of it. Shouldn't the outside match the inside. His eyes should be as dead as his heart. Not glowing with anger and something I couldn't identify.

He flung me away from him and stood up with a bitter laugh. " That's all it took. One conversation. One fucking conversation and I was the enemy. You never even thought to question it. Or maybe do something normal and confront me on the spot. No. That's not your style. You just lunged at my neck with a God damn knife. That somehow sounded more reasonable to you. "

He took one of heavy armchairs I couldn't move and flung it on the balcony shattering what's left of glass doors. He was breathing heavily. "Of course. Finally you start trusting someone and it freaks you out. You were fucking waiting for me to do or say something so you could bolt. And the chance came right at your feet."

"Why would I do that? I came to you. I asked you to be by my side. Why would I want you to screw me over?" I stood up and faced him again. Standing toe to toe with him. I tilted my face up because otherwise I'd be talking to his chest. "Why?" I yelled at him.

"Because you're scared." he challenged.

"I am not scared of you you arrogant bastard." I pushed at his chest.

He laughed. "Oh. Of course not. A champion like you would never be afraid of me." he took my hand and pointed it back at my own chest. "You're scared of yourself." he said. "You're so God damn scared of trusting me that you're shaking. You've been alone most of you're life. Being both mother and father to yourself and your sister even when you're father was still alive that you forgot how it felt to let go and let someone else take care of you. You don't want to depend on me. Or trust me. Because you're scared to love me and watch me walk away. "

I swallowed hard and squared my shoulders." I would never love you. " I told him.

He gentled his hold on my hand. " I know. Because the minute you feel yourself drawing an inch closer to me you put a mile between us. " he took a deep breath and released me. The glass crunched under his boots as he walked towards the balcony. I followed after him.

The cold night air whipped my hair and made it stick to my damp skin. I laid my burning hand on the cold banister.

He sighed. "Xavier tried to kidnap your sister last night. I didn't want to worry you. I took care of everything and she barely knew.  She was a sleep before I finished explaining how it was one of my guards that was with her and he had no intention of harming her. Not an assain sent to kill her if he wasn't able to get her out of there. She's going tomorrow to a new school far away so she'll be safe. That's all she knows. It's a heavly guarded boarding school in England. Even specializes in high profile children, royalty, mafia heirs. That kind of thing. So you can rest assured she'll be safe. " he glanced at me watching him in stunned silence. " Now excuse me. I need to go find somewhere else to sleep. It's been a long day and I have no intention of being murdered in my sleep by my wife. You can say goodbye to your sister in the morning. "

He closed the door quietly after him. The soft click echoing in my head. Louder than if he had slammed it shut.