Golden Shady || Eminem Fanfiction

19. I'm not your girl

As I was drying my body with some cloth we found around the house and putting back on my clothes guilt started to replace the feeling of pleasure. This can ruin so many things if he decides to go and tell what happened. I try to not overthink this, what happened I can't turn back in time but there is still something bothering me.

"Are you cold?" - I hear his voice echo from another room. "I found a hoodie."

"No thank you. You can use it." - I answer with my back turned to the door.

"Are you kidding? It's so hot in LA I can barely tolerate these cloths" - he is getting closer to where I am, I can tell by his voice. I don't want to turn around and face him as my heart sinks in the pool of guilt in my stomach.

"Are you okay?" - he asks right behind me and as I quickly try to gather myself he turns me around.

"I... I'm fine." - I shake my head and put a smile on my face. He narrows his eyes on me.

"You're overthinking this, ain't ya?" - he brings his hand up and brushes my cheekbone with his fingers. I look at his eyes for a moment trying to find out if he will flip on me, if he was sincere about the "just you and me". But his eyes still have that bluntness on them and I couldn't tell. I lower my eyes and catch my breath to keep my stomach from sinking.

"You are!" - he whispers when I don't deny it. "Heather look at me."

He waits for me to look up and when I don't his fingers get under my chin and lifts my face up. His face expression is soft.

"Please don't regret this!"- I search his eyes again while he strokes my chin. My hand flies up at his wrist as I press my lips.

"I'm here, " - I take his hand and press on his palm "and you can crush me if you decide to use this against me."

"Oh, baby..." - he gasps when he understands what I'm concerned about and brings his hand to the back of my head. "I would never intentionally hurt you."

"But you have." -I mumble as his fingers pass through my hair.

"My intention was never to hurt you, you know what I mean?"

"Well you might get carried away by your so-called war with my camp and forget I'm in between."

"I might be the villain of this mess " - he leans his forehead in mine and I close my eyes - "but I'll never be that low of a person."

"Please Marshall don't tell anyone." - I beg him

"I won't do it baby."

I kiss him. Hard. I take both of my hands on his cheeks and taste his mouth trying to know if he is telling the truth. His lips are not as desperate as mine are, he is gentle with them and his hands softly go from my curls to my waist. As I seek to intensify the kiss he presses my body against his and keeps his lips soft on mine until I relax and gently kiss him back. My heart skips a beat and my eyes feel watery.

I didn't get back to my father's house in the morning. I decided it would be better if I went back to my apartment and be alone. The taxi driver looked at me from the rear mirror more than twice. I decided to make some small talk with him so he doesn't think I'm a rude celebrity. He tells me his daughters and nieces love my music so I asked him for a pen to sign something for them. I don't know if taxi drivers are all required to talk about personal things with their clients but almost every one of them starts talking about personal things.

He started talking about how upset I must have felt when the white rapper, the misogynist, the culture vulture talked bullshit about me. He called him a criminal, how he was using our culture to get rich and attacking our people, and as he went on and on about it I started thinking how my people would hate me if they knew I liked Marshall. It wasn't just about my father and Death Row it was about all american-african people.