Those Who Are Dead | KTH 🔞

13| White Lies

Suddenly he turns around and our eyes meet. I feel my lips part in silent shock, but can't look away, blinded by the gold specks of his tawny irises.

"Do you know who I would follow anywhere?" mumbles Crystal in my back, "Jimin. For Jimin, I would stay in Dirkwood forever. Seriously, have you even seen that guy?"

"It's like they keep getting better," says Paris, who I know is ogling them from beside me, "Fuck, I love when Yoongi has his hair pushed back."

I shift my gaze to the others; Jungkook keeping his head up and his shoulders tense, almost aggressive in the way his eyes wash over the crowd, Yoongi who is yawning, completely bored by the normalcy of the scene before him, and Jimin who is laughing as he sits down at the table behind us.

"I heard Taehyung is dating Hazel, do you know if it's true?" asks Crystal and my gaze finally snaps away from them to go to my friend.

"Really?" I blurt out.

"Yeah, really," confirms Crystal with a sigh, "Why do you look so shocked? Have you seen the guy? It's not like he's going to stay single all his life."

"Who's your source?" Paris asks with furrowed brows.

"Huh... A girl in gym class who is a friend of Hazel..."

"Yeah, that doesn't sound very accurate."

I turn back my gaze to their table, and Taehyung is smirking now, devilish eyes darted to Jungkook while he whispers something to his friends, head down like he's scheming something bad, and he probably is. Then he suddenly stands up, leaving his food tray behind to walk out the door.

"I – I'll be back," I tell my friends, feeling a rush of excitement as I stand up to walk over to the exit by which Taehyung just left.

I carefully make my way after him, making sure not to hurry. I turn a corner, then look down the corridor to see his figure disappear in the basement stairs leading to the locker room. Without even thinking about it, I follow him, going down a level and finding myself surrounded by rows of perfectly aligned grey metal lockers.

I turn right, looking until I spot his back, fingers grazing the padlocks as he makes his way to the other side.

"Hey," I call him, and he slowly turns around, blankly staring at me like he was expecting my presence.

"You're following me now?" he asks, grinning as I walk over to him.

I narrow my eyes.

"Because you can creep outside my window at midnight, but I can't come and talk to you at school?"

Maybe I speak too loudly because my voice resonates against the metal lockers and the low ceiling, sounding a bit harsher than I expected.

Luckily, no one is around, everyone being in the cafeteria for lunch. Taehyung loses his grin and looks down at me, liquid gold dancing in his orbs. He opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but then stops himself, smirking instead.

"I was just... passing by," he tells me, "to go to Hazel's."

That one hurt more than I anticipate, and I swallow a nauseating wave of spite.

"Taehyung... you looked really upset..."

Upset is an understatement. He was shaking, eyes red like he was on the verge of crying, pain so obvious in his expression that I felt my heart break. I can see it on his face right now that something isn't right. He has deep dark circles and he looks paler than usual, tired and distressed. Seeing him like that is physically painful.

"I'm fine," he says in a small voice, and maybe someone else would have bought it, but certainly not me.

He had the same expression after falling from the swing when he was a kid, pretending he was all strong and manly when he was just a nine-years-old with bleeding knees that wanted to be hugged.

"You know you can always come to me, right?" I tell him and he looks surprised.

"What?" he chuckles, "Yeah, sure, I bet your dad would like that, the guy that ruined his daughter's childhood innocence coming to his house in the middle of the night every time he has problems at home..."

He stops himself, biting his lower lip and looking down at the tip of his shoes like he said too much.

"It's your dad again, right?"

He snaps his head back up, his eyes two polished hard stones.

"You don't know that, I never said that. I don't need your help!" he exclaims angrily, "And, why are you even talking about this now? I was in front of your window a week ago."

The truth is that I was waiting for him to come to me. I thought we had somewhat reconnected after he brought me to the quarry and showed me the abandoned factory, that we could maybe be friends again. I know now that I misinterpreted the signs, because clearly, he had no intention of speaking to me ever again after that.

"I – I just want to help you," I tell him, feeling myself blush at how pathetic I sound.

"I'm fine. I don't need your help. Stay away from me."

With that said, he turns around and walks away, fingers grazing the padlocks of the lockers and making them click as he disappears down the alley.