Golden Shady || Eminem Fanfiction

14.Small Talks

"That sounds more interesting than my life right now."

"bored in the studio?"

"Fuck yeah. Believe it or not I'd rather listen to ur fathers hoe, bitch about whatever she wants than be here right now. " - I roll my eyes when I read his response.

"You must be having fun there"

"Anyway, tell the bitch 2 stop bitching, ur father loves taking care of everything, even when it's none of his business." - I wince as I read his text. He didn't take long to go that way as I knew he would once I sent the text to him. But I thought about that when the text was already sent and I couldn't take it back.

I don't answer right away. I don't know what to tell him after that. I stare at the letters and type the buttons without forming an actual word.

"Whatever!" - I didn't have anything better to say to him.

"I'm serious, not trynna b rude or sth. I really think he controls the fuck out of you."

"That's not true." - I never felt controlled by my father before. Until today.

He didn't have to tell me how to do things. I would automatically do them how my father likes things done just to not disappoint him. So yeah maybe Marshall is right.

It's his time to text whatever now. But I don't think the reasons behind it are the same as mine. He probably didn't want to go in detail why he thinks my dad controls me. I sigh a little and rest my phone at the side of my body.

My dad's girlfriend is looking at me with pressed lips. She thinks Justin was texting me and I keep her in that lane. I'm not supposed to be talking or texting to Marshall Mathers so let her think it's Justin.

As I watch my father and my uncle talk with their drinks in one hand and their cigars in the other I feel sick to my stomach. How am I doubting my own father now? He is the best father someone can get. He cares about things. He has been proud of me always because I would never slip and do things he didn't like.

But lately, I did things he didn't like and I feel so weak and lost. In a minute I wanna do everything wrong, and the other one I just want to behave. I take my phone again and type some lyrics while I ask my father's girlfriend who's name I'm still not interested in knowing to find me a pen and paper.

"Since when I was born

I did what people told me

Did what my father said,

And tried to not disappoint him

Now everyone thinks they can

Control me

Never gonna stop - controlling

To get what they want - controlling

They like to have a lot of - controlling

Even now that I'm all grown up- controlling"

I copy the first part of the song on paper when the maid brings it to me. And while I scribble some random words to rhyme I think of another approach of control.

"I'm back in my room a 15 years old me

Working so hard on that piano, see

Daddy you wanna hear it again? what shall I do?

I wish I knew, I was just letting my fears to

Control me and get what I want

Control me it will never stop