~I should have known~

181 12 1
                                    

It was after school, I was walking home when I felt someone grab my hoodie, yanking me back so my breath was cut off. I gasped in a breath, trying to pull my hoodie away from my throat.

Before I could, I was thrown to the ground. My hand slipped as I tried to stop myself, meaning my head hit the concrete, hard. I let out a groan as I slowly turned to face whoever pushed me, Zeke. But not just Zeke, Ashton, Kyle, Dylan and Xavier.

They all surrounded me, victorious smirks on their faces as Zeke grabbed a handful of my hair and lifting me up. My scalp burned, he held me so my feet just drifted the ground, meaning I was hanging by my hair.

"Hey Cooper!! How fancy seeing you here! I wouldn't thought you'd do us a favour and not come back this year... guess you're just a stubborn ass! Aren't you? Let's see how long you can hold up after this..." Zeke trailed off, I was about to say something before I was punched in the stomach.

Zeke threw me back to the concrete, my hands scraping the ground. I didn't have a second to steady myself before I felt all of them start to kick me. They aimed for my stomach, obviously not wanting anyone to see the marks I would have.

All I could feel was pain, my whole body drowning in it. Slaughter flew above, crying out as they continued beat me. I could feel tears welling in my eyes but I wouldn't let them see.

What I didn't expect was for my bag to be taken, Kyle and Dylan pulled out scissors, starting to cut up my bag. I didn't say anything, I just laid there silently as they continued to hurt me...

I was used to it...

They eventually stopped, throwing my bag at my head and laughing as I let out a groan. Xavier walked over to me, grabbing ahold of my chin and forcing me to look at him. "Just kill yourself Cooper, I won't miss you. Nobody would. You're just pathetic and a waste of space, no wonder nobody likes you." He said before pushing me back, sending me stumbling to the ground.

They laughed as they walked off, leaving me on the ground. Once I knew they were gone, I let the tears fall. I didn't sob because it hurt my stomach too much, Hell, it hurt to just breath. But I still got up, picking up my now ruined bag as I started to walk home.

I used my key to unlock the door, heading straight upstairs to my room. I locked the door before throwing my ruined bag across the room, not caring if it hit anything. Tears fell down my cheeks as I stormed into my bathroom, ripping open the drawer and pulling out my switchblade.

~Sensitive Content Below~

I didn't think twice before pulling my hoodie and shirt off, opening the blade and placing it against my skin, letting it glide easily, splitting open the skin.

One, two, three, four, five.

I finally felt my mind come back to me, forcing me to drop the blade after five cuts. I looked down at my bare arm, five clean cuts, blood rushing from them. It felt cold as my blood created a river along my forearm, falling like a waterfall into the sink.

I must have cut a bit too deep...

~Sensitive Content Over~

I went through my routine, washing off the blade, putting it away before going to my arm. I quickly washed away the blood before disinfecting and wrapping the cuts. Sure, I hurt myself but I sure as hell don't want to lose a limb from some infection.

I threw my shirt and hoodie into my washing basket before going back into my bedroom. I stood in front of the body mirror, looking at my red, aching skin. Bruises hadn't shown up yet but I know they will eventually.

I let out a sigh before making my way over to my drawers, pulling out a loose black long sleeve shirt. I slid it on, lucky for me, the sleeves go past my hands, no one will notice my arms or my stomach.

I crawled onto my bed, sitting at the head of it as I pulled my knees to my chest, burying my head between my arms. I could feel my body shake as I tried to hold back my sobs, but they eventually came.

The silence was filled with my sobs, my sniffles and my whimpers. My body shook as I cried, pain erupting through my stomach but it couldn't match the pain I was feeling emotionally.

I probably sound dramatic or something but it's true... I felt completely broken.

I've just found out that the person I thought I could trust, that I did trust was lying to me the entire time, everything between us was a lie. The one person I loved turned her back on me, going straight to the person who literally makes my life hell.

I should have known, I should have known not to let someone in so easily, to let them in so carelessly. Yet I did just that, I trusted someone because I was foolish enough to believe what she said. I let my stupidity get the best of me, my loneliness too, and look what happens...

I get hurt.

I always get hurt.

Even though she lied, betrayed me and left me alone, I still found myself wishing I could call her, ask her to come over and just comfort me. Because as much as I don't want to admit it, I need her, I always have needed her. But that's changed now, she was lying the entire time, she pulled me into a trap and left me there. Now I'm back where I started...

Broken...

So I sat, sobbing as I could practically feel myself slipping into madness. I hugged my knees close to my chest, wishing someone else was holding me, comforting me.

I felt Bullet sit on my shoulder, nuzzling her body into my neck in a comforting way. Suicide sat beside me, pulling me into a hug as I continued to sob. The thing was, I didn't even bother telling him to leave, because even though he wasn't real, this was the most comfort I would ever get.

Even if it was from a demon.

So I sat there, letting Suicide comfort me. I still wish it was Felicity though, because she was the only one who truly put me at ease.

That was probably fake too...

What about her father? Was that a lie? Did Zeke come up with that? I must say, quite believable, well done on his behalf. And the cuts on her arm... make-up? If she faked that time at the house too then bloody well done on making it seem real... or she could have actually done it just to make fun of me... drag me further into the trap.

"I-I-I was s-so stupid! I l-l-let her i-in and I g-g-got hurt! I w-w-was so d-desperate for someone to-to actually h-have as a f-f-friend that I w-was to b-blind t-to see th-the truth!!" I sobbed, Suicide just pulled me closer to him.

He didn't have to, he could just sit there and yet I'd feel slightly okay. Out of all nine of them, Suicide was the most welcoming.

Maybe Suicide isn't that bad...

𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒, 𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒Where stories live. Discover now