JinBot

Tech Support

I suppose it could either be customer service or tech support. I decided to start with Technical support.  I pressed 4. 

"Thank you for calling LoveStyle.  This is Raj, how may I be of assistance?"

His accent was thick, but at least he was speaking English. 

"Yes, hi.  So I'm uh...helping a friend try to figure out what's wrong with her LoveDoll."

"I would be happy to assist your friend.  May I speak with her?"

"Um...she's...deaf, so I'm helping her by calling since that's easier than trying to call an 800 number with TTY."  Pretty quick thinking, If I do say so myself. 

"Ok ma'am.  I would be happy to assist you and your friend.  Could you tell me what the problem is?"

"Yes.  She logged into the app, clicked a few buttons, and then powered the LoveDoll on.  However he is speaking in an unfamiliar language.  I tried to look through the user manual and the app to help her, but this time when she opened it everything has some weird writing neither of us understand.  It's definitely not English." 

"I'm sorry to hear that ma'am.  Let me investigate this problem for you.  May I get the serial number please?"

"Yes, just a second."

I put the phone back on speaker and sat it on the ground.  I walked over to the LoveDoll and pulled the blanket from his head. 

"Gomabseubnida!"

I glared at it.  I wanted to do this as quickly as possible so that I could cover it back up.  I then remembered where the serial number was.  Well this was going to be awkward. 

I started to reach for the button on his pants when I made the mistake of looking up at him.  Again we locked eyes, but there was something different about them this time.  There was something different about his whole face.  Instead of the huge smile his mouth was bare parted.  His nostrils looked slightly flared.  His eyes were smoldering. 

Nope.  This is too much.  Yes, I'm reaching for your crotchal region, but I'm not trying to do THAT right now.  There must be some sort of sensor.  The Swedes seem to have thought of everything. 

I threw the blanket back over his head and partially over his body.  I slide behind the LoveDoll and reached around toward the button. 

"Ma'am?"

"Yes, just a minute.  I'm having some difficulties getting the serial number."

"It's on the left buttock cheek."

"Yes, thank you."  Even though there was no one there to physically witness this seemingly predatory display, I was embarrassed.  What would my grandmother say if she saw me reaching around and unbuttoning a poor helpless man's pants while I have him semi-restrained? 

Really?  Why the hell did THAT image pop into my head?  Besides, he's not a person.  He's a robot or a machine or whatever you call it.  Stay on task.  Stay on task.

"Ok the serial number is 510KORWWH337." 

"Thank you, ma'am.  I'm going to place you on a brief hold while I investigate, ok?"

What choice did I have?

"Uh, sure."

I pulled his pants back up, buttoned, and zipped them in 5 seconds flat.  I fixed the blanket so it was completely covering the LoveDoll.  I looked at my watch, trying to estimate how long JK has been gone and how long until he'd arrive with sustenance.  I had a feeling it was going to be a long night.