"So let's test your theory."
"What theory?"
Paul smirked at me as he backed me up against the door. I watched his eyes as he lifted his arms and trapped me. "The theory that you don't want me...that we're just friends...and I'm just some kid you c...
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Paul sighed. He looked down at me with the most loving look on his face. Then he opened his mouth. "Wow...look at you, Rachel. You look just like a fucking angel."
I could feel myself blushing. It was such a Paul thing to say. I loved how he never tried to be anything other than what he was. I loved that he was foul-mouthed and brash and didn't care if he offended people because he was so blunt.
And somehow, some way, he was also the sweetest and most considerate person I had ever known. I'd never been around anyone who made me feel so cherished and loved. I liked to think that being with me had changed him. I dared to believe that me loving him back had made him into the amazing man that was now gazing down at me. And in that moment, I didn't want him to ever look at someone the way he looked at me. As much as I was 'his girl,' he was my man. And thinking that someone could take that from me, made me feel possessive and crazy.
Just then I realized that he had changed me too. I used to hold a grudge like no other. The old me would have kept pushing Paul away and I would have made him suffer for weeks for his lack of attention. But the moment he left me this morning, I fell apart without him.
But then Embry showed up...and now I had to deal with that. I couldn't sit here having him call me an angel and sing my praises when I know deep down I didn't deserve it.
When we got back to his house a little while ago, we were furiously making out as we stumbled through the front door. We never stopped kissing as he walked me through the house and backed me up to the end of his bed.
But as he stood over me just now, I could feel how much he wanted me. I could see it in his eyes. I wanted him so badly, but there was something holding me back. I couldn't be with him while keeping this secret. Guilt would surely ruin it. He had to know what I had done before this went any further.
When he slid his fingers behind my neck and angled his mouth over mine, I pulled away. "Paul...we need to talk." Ugh. The most dreaded conversation starter ever.
But it got his attention. He rolled his eyes and knelt in front of me. "I know, I know. We didn't really talk about this morning and nothing between us is really settled...but shit, Rachel...I've missed you so much."
I didn't even have a chance to respond before he curled his hands around my waist, leaned in close to my neck, and started sucking the skin under my ear. It was all I could do to push him away.
"Paul, please..."
"Baby..." he argued. Dammit, I love when he calls me that.
When I didn't respond to his neck sucking, he groaned and released me. He wasn't mad. He smiled at me with the warmest smile, settling back on the floor with legs crossed. "Talk to me, baby." He noticed the serious look on my face and added, "What's wrong?"
