Philosophical Starvation (D.O.D.)

Start from the beginning
                                    

Air: HE'S NOT GONNA DIE.

Clay: I WILL WITHOUT FOOD!!

Nightflyer: Clay, statistically, scavengers can survive 30-40 days without food if they stay hydrated, so you can most likely go longer than that as a dragon. Once in Belfast, people didn't die of hunger until they had been starving for 45-61 days!

Clay: *screaming in horror*

Glory: This. This will be entertaining.

Riptide: So we all just....sit here and watch him starve? That's kinda boring.

Joy: Yeah, we thought so, so instead you're all going to try and think of the next great philosophical breakthrough.

Fatespeaker: The next what?

Rainkeeper: Just try to think of something really deep and insightful that could change somebody's life if you said it.

Sunny: Oh, okay. 

DOD: *begins pondering*

Clay: *whimpers* How long until I can have food?

Air: Good question- how long did we say we'd make him wait?

Joy: We didn't.

Air:......But-

Nightflyer: I say we starve him at least until the next Supernatural episode so you two will be crying together.

Air:...I'm fine with that.

Rainkeeper: Anything coming to you guys yet?

Glory: Uh........No.

Peril: Wait.........I got something.

Riptide: Go on....

Peril: Why don't you sniff your dog's butt?

All:..........

Clay: CAN I EAT SOMETHING IF IT'S NOT FOOD?

Joy: Like what?

Clay: Like, UM, UH.... THIS! *holds up a stick of deodorant*

Kelp: Ha! I doubt you'd like the taste of-

Clay: *eats deodorant*

Kelp:.......

All:.......

Kelp:.......You do you, Remus.

Nightflyer: REMUS????

Starflight: If all the original wizarding families in Harry Potter are related to each other, albeit very distantly, then doesn't that mean James Potter was technically related to Sirius Black?

Nightflyer: *brain and heart shatters* What?

Starflight: And then, through his marriage to Tonks and extension, Remus Lupin would ALSO be related to Sirius AND James, so therefore the only member of the Marauders who isn't related to each other is Peter, the one who betrays them. Did Rowling intentionally do that, or was it accidental that the traitor of a friend group was the only one not apart of their family tree?

Nightflyer: *clutches head* STOP.

Sunny: If Leafspeak is a thing and Sundew can speak to the forest, then doesn't that mean she can hear trees when they fall in a forest. CAN SHE HEAR GRASS SCREAMING AS SOMEONE WALKS ON IT? CAN SHE TALK TO ROCKS TOO?

Rainkeeper: It was a horrible mistake to let them do this.

Kelp: I disagree.

Tsunami: Why......Why don't the people of Tumblr just run the world? I think they could do a decent job.

Glory: Read and Read. Lead and Lead. Dove and Dove. Content and Content. Minute and Minute. Polish and Polish. Record and Record. Alternate and Alternate. Bass and Bass. Bow and Bow. ALL WORDS WITH SAME SPELLING, BUT DIFFERENT MEANING AND PRONUNCIATION, ENGLISH GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

Deathbringer: People say it's impossible to cut off both of your arms, but can;t you just turn on a table saw, cut off one arm, and then cut off the other arm with the saw? Then your only issue would be turning off the table saw. 

Fatespeaker: Butter is a milkshake.

Clay: WHY WOULD YOU MENTION FOOD!?!?!

Nightflyer: Clay, it's been 30 minutes.

Clay: *cries* AND I'M REALLY HUNGRY.

Hosts:.......

Joy: You would die in the apocalypse.

Riptide: How many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

Clay: *whines* 

Kelp: Just eat more deodorant or something.

Joy: No! No food!

Kelp: IT'S NOT FOOD.

Joy: That depends on who you're talking to.

Kelp:WHO DO YOU KNOW THAT EATS DEODORANT?

Joy: REMUS! DUH!

Nightflyer: REMUS LUPIN DOESN'T EAT DEODORANT!

Joy: Not that- *sighs*

Sunny:........Is a duck a predator?

Clay: DUCK! *screeches in hunger*

Deathbringer: Can we switch to interesting facts now?

Air: Yes you may.

Glory: If you give a marine a hickey, it counts as Destruction of Government Property, and I think I should adopt that policy in the rainforest in case anybody be messing with my man.

Starflight: ELMO IS THE ONLY NON-HUMAN TO TESTIFY BEFORE CONGRESS.

Clay: So....Hungry.....

*six days later*

Clay: *dying*

Riptide: The opposite of easy peasy lemon squeezy is stressed depressed lemon zest.

Clay: That sounds like a great dessert.

Tsunami: Which one are you now?

Riptide: Lemon zest. Definitely lemon zest.

Starflight: An old English word for library was böchord which literally means book hoard and we should start using that word more in JMA. 

Air: Misha's song took his first steps at Jensen Ackles's house and promptly fell into their pool and Jensen and Misha jumped in at the same time to save him and that is why the Supernatural cast destroys my heart with their perfection.

Deathbringer: Handwriting is the written equivalent of the sound of someone;s voice.

Sunny: The guy who invented the saxophone had no less than 7 near death experiences leading up to the year he invented the saxophone.

Starflight: If gas prices keep going up, it'll be cheaper to snort cocaine and run everywhere.

Fatespeaker: Starflight, remember what we said about the cocaine....

Clay: DOES COCAINE COUNT AS FOOD, IF SO CAN I GET SOME??

Joy: NO.

Clay: *stomach rumbles and it shakes the whole mountain*

Hosts:........

Air: Does it sound lime somebody is saying 'No, wait, stop' to you?

Nightflyer: I think the universe is sending us a sign.

Clay: If I don't get food in the next ten seconds I will eat.

Rainkeeper: Eat what?

Clay: Myself or the nearest dragon I can get my talons on.

Hosts/Players:.......

Kelp: *starts screaming, throws a cow at Clay and runs out*

Hosts: *run out screaming*

Clay: FOOD!!!!!!!

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