Constantly ♡ (Paul Lahote)

14 - Apologizing

I caught a whiff of her shampoo when her hair swept past me and I inhaled deeply. Why did she always smell so good? I hung her coat in the closet as Selena made quick work of introducing her to my mom and stepdad.

My mom announced that brunch was ready so we all found a place to sit around the dining room table. I ended up next to Rachel. She looked so nervous. I felt her anxiety when I saw her nibble on her lip and felt her knee bouncing next to mine.

I reached over and squeezed her knee gently. She lowered her gaze and swallowed thickly. Oh man. She probably thought she was annoying me. When I moved my hand to her lower back and began rubbing small circles there, I felt her relax and lean against me a little.

My mom stopped giving her the third degree, so we were finally able to talk. "Sorry they're so nosy, but at least they're leaving me alone," I teased.

"Thanks," she replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "I think they're nice," she said thoughtfully as she glanced back at my family. "I'm glad you didn't have to be alone at Christmas."

I nodded slowly and went back to eating my food. I felt that pull again. Not just the physical one that I felt last night, the one that made me gawk at her body. I felt the pull that made me want to forget that I'm mad at her for the way she acted last night. That pull made me want to overlook the fact that I had avoided her phone calls for a month straight, even though it killed me.

I didn't want to feel that pull again, because once I got sucked in, she would eventually push me away again. One part of my brain wanted to believe that this was her plan, that she actually got off on it. But the bigger part of me knew that wasn't true. That part of me was the was trying to convince myself that what we had was real and she wanted me too.

And that part of me knew I had to get the fuck out of here.

When Rachel got up to help Selena clear the table, I disappeared into the guest room and started packing my things. I knew this was only a temporary distraction. She would find me and we'd have to talk. Well, she could talk....it didn't mean I had to.

It didn't take her long to find me. She didn't knock, she didn't say anything, she didn't even ask if she could come in. And I knew she was there, without hearing her or seeing her, I knew because I could feel her. How fucked up was that?

She hoisted herself up onto the short dresser and sat cross-legged in front of me. That made it nearly impossible for me not to look at her. She furrowed her brow, like she was debating what she should say. Finally she spoke.

"There's nothing I can say to make up for the way I behaved last night. It was ridiculous. I was rude and jealous and I had no right to be. I asked Selena for forgiveness for the way I acted and now I'm gonna ask you too...even though I know I don't have the right, but I am sorry."

I angrily shoved my socks into my duffel bag and shook my head. I bit the inside of my cheek and willed myself not to respond to her. I heard her sigh as she moved to get down from the dresser. I stepped in front of her, leaning over her in order to reach my hair gel and cologne.

She slipped her hands behind her back and produced the hair gel in one hand. I dropped the bottle into the bag at my feet, never taking my eyes off of her. When she brought the cologne forward, she stopped to inspect it. I watched her uncap it, bring it to her nose, and inhale deeply. She smiled ever so slightly and shrugged.

"Not bad, I guess. But I prefer your natural scent." I held my breath when she brushed her nose against the side of my neck. She hummed, "Mmm, yummy."

When she uncrossed her legs and let them hang on either side of my hips, I nearly lost my mind. I slid my hands under her knees and jerked her to me. She gasped when I let her legs dangle over the crooks of my elbows and pressed my palms flat on the dresser. I leaned against her, pressing myself into the heat coming from between her thighs. I smiled when her eyes started to roll back in her head and her eyelashes fluttered.

"What is about you, Rachel?" I sighed as I slid my hands under her ass and pulled her impossibly closer. I watched as her breathing sped up and I shuddered when her nails raked up my forearms. "You asked me for forgiveness? When I look at you...I can't remember why I'm mad at you. Hell, I can barely even remember my own name."

When she smiled at me seductively and threaded her fingers behind my neck, I lifted her, swiftly carrying her to the bed. "You were mad at me after I said I wasn't coming home for Thanksgiving," she reminded me, licking her lips.

"Yeah, but you weren't right in front of me then. I couldn't see you...or smell you...or taste you," I breathed, lowering my face to hers.

We both jumped when Selena knocked on the door. "Everything okay in there?" she called the through the closed door.

I gripped the comforter with both fists as I growled playfully. Rachel laughed as I helped her stand and I tried to adjust my jeans in a vain effort to hide my raging hard on. Rachel opened the door and Selena peeked in. I returned to packing as I retrieved the rest of my clothes from the closet.

"So we're all good here?" Selena asked hopefully. "You guys weren't fighting, were you?"

"We were...trying to make up," I replied with a smirk.

"Oh," she answered absently. After a beat, she added, "Oh! Oh, Paul, I'm sorry!"

"You're fine, Sel. I have to get going soon anyway."

I watched Rachel tense up and Selena gave her a knowing look. "I wish you could stay another day," Selena pouted. "It's been really great having you here."

I smiled widely at her and wrapped her in a hug. "I've had fun too, Selena. It's been a blast getting to know you."

When she pulled away, she smiled up at me. "I have an idea, Paul."

"Oh yeah?" I asked, gathering up my bags.

"Yeah...I think you should take Rachel home with you."

"What?" we said in unison.

"For a visit!" she added quickly. "Rachel told me that she has a few days off and you're going home anyway, so..."

"Selena!" Rachel scolded, looking a little embarrassed.

"Well...you weren't gonna say anything," Selena smirked. "This will be perfect and you'll have more time to talk...and make up," she added, winking.

I looked at Rachel expectantly. "Did you want to go home?"

She nodded happily. "I didn't want to ask Dad to come get me when it's only for a few days and the roads have been bad with all the snow we've had. I'll understand if you don't want to."

"Of course he wants to!" Selena exclaimed, pulling us together and ushering us out to the living room.

~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

"I'm sorry that you got roped into this, Paul. Selena can be pretty persistent when she wants to," Rachel blurted quickly as we traveled to her apartment. "You know you don't have to do this."

"Rachel..." I slid my fingers behind her head, running them through her silky hair as I did. "Relax. Nobody makes me do anything I don't wanna do. Trust me."

She leaned into my touch and smiled a little. "Thank you. Thanks for doing this."

When she scooted closer to me and rested her head on my shoulder, that pull I felt for her, the one that truly scared the shit out of me, it was kicking into overdrive. And I was powerless to stop it.

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