WAITING FOR THE BEGINNING

45. The Time Capsule called Fate

The events of the last 24 hours seems a life time, all crushed into one time capsule.

One named fate.

Tao Zen rushes up to her and pulls her along to sprint for the gurney which halts briefly in front of the operating room while the room is being cleared of the previous patient.

She forces her way next to the gravely injured Wei Xin, whose face brandishing multiple contusions, his chest bleeding through a pair of gloved hands compressing on the new tattoo over his heart - "Ping." Her name.

Though the words would not form into coherent full thoughts, the unspoken subtext suddenly focuses into one singular desire - stay. With him.

If it weren't for Uncle Tao moving her physically to the waiting area, she would have remained frozen in front of the operating room.  Waiting.  Waiting.  For something.  And nothing.  

She reaches into her pocket where she keeps the single gold band he gave her.  De Yi had taken it off the night they breached the barrier of estranged friends and crossed over to nebulous lovers.  

She thought it wrong to discard it.  She reasons that one day, when she would see Wei Xin in some distant future, she would return the ring.  Until then, she would keep it as a memento from a dreamlike part of her life.

As she pulls it out of her pocket, her fingers shake as she holds it, telling herself over and over again that he cannot die until she returns the ring.

The sun disappears behind the vermilion sky streaked with wispy clouds.  The waiting room descends into a stillness, an eerie silence sharply broken by the sudden ring of her phone.  Since only De Yi has this number, she needs not to see the ID.

It jolts her out of her daze. 

"Ping Ping."  De Yi's voice cannot hide a bit of anxiousness and joy.  "Where are you?"

His hand holds the ring box and he imagines her face, with her signature hesitant smile and agreeing with a single slight nod.  He notices the long delay in her response.

"Hello?"  He speaks again.  "Are you there?"

"Um."  Her voice trembles.  "I'm at the hospital."

"Why are you at the hospital."  De Yi's hands grips onto the box before he calms himself to respond. This is how his grandfather and father trained him to handle potential bad news.  "Are you hurt?"

"Wei Xin's..."  Ping Ping answers, fighting the tears.  "...been shot."

"Which hospital."  De Yi puts down the ring box and picks up his keys.  "I'll come get you."

"No."  Ping Ping  bids out slowly.  "The hospital is on lock down.  And I'm not allowed to say."

"What do you mean."  De Yi has reached his car.  "When are you coming home."

"I don't know."  Ping Ping closes her eyes, knowing that this answer is not just about the lock down.  "I don't know when he will wake up."

"What if he doesn't wake up?"

Ping Ping whispers.  "He has to."

"Ping."  De Yi's tells himself that she's distraught and not making sense.  To not panic.  He uses the only tactic he knows from business - stall.  "I'll wait for you.  When the lock down is lifted, come home.  And we'll talk."

"M."  She nods and breathes out slowly.  Neither one wants to say good bye.  Or be the first to disconnect.  Yet neither one knows what to say next.

Tao Zen walks into the scene of Ping Ping staring at her phone.  The somber look on his tired face causes Ping Ping to hold her breath.

He reaches for her phone and disconnects for her.

"Sorry."  The old man hands her a cup of tea and sits down, rubbing the back of his neck.  "All the signals should have been jammed.  Safety precaution."

He turns off her phone after glancing briefly at the caller ID.  He sighs.  Not sure what is the right thing to do.  What's right for Xiang Ling / Ping Ping.  What's right for Wei Xin.  What's right for that young man De Yi.

"Is he out of surgery?"  Ping Ping asks.  "Can I see him?"

"He's in ICU. Restricted access."

"Is he going to live?"

"Hard to say.  He's lost a lot of blood.  And the bullets shredded his back."  Tao Zen modulates his tone to be neutral of any feelings.

"What do you mean."

"It was not a standard gun."  A flash of anger crosses Tao Zen's demeanor.  "The gun shot shrapnel instead of bullets."

"I don't understand."

"It shot pieces of broken metals instead of one single bullet.  The pieces tore  thru his spines and nerves."

Ping Ping looks up, horrified at the image.  

"One piece nicked his heart.  They stitched him up.  But it will take time."

"For him to heal?"

"To see if they stopped the bleeding in time."  Tao Zen puts his hand over Ping Ping's shaking ones.  "And if he wakes up, he may never walk again."

"Why are you telling me this."  Ping Ping 

"Xiang Ling. No.  I mean Lee Ping Ping."  Tao Zen studies her small and determined face.  "He may not remember you.  or want to see you."

"Why would you think that?"

"No man wants a woman to see him at his worst.  His weakest." Tao Zen has determined to see it through to the end.  "Except maybe his wife or a lover."

It breaks his heart to see her eyes welling up with tears.

"And I'm neither."

"No you're not."  He smiles wryly at the factual deception.  

Ping Ping struggles with that statement.  Yes, it's true.  She's neither.  But that doesn't seem to diminish her desire to stay.   Neither one spoke, as if waiting to see what the other might say to turn around the situation.

It is Tao Zen.  

"I can get someone to take you home."

"No."  Ping Ping shakes her head, sadly but firmly.  "I am staying."

"What for?"  The answer surprises Tao Zen.

"Until he wakes up."  She raises up the ring.  "This is something that one should return in person.  With a real farewell."