WAITING FOR THE BEGINNING

40. Without Pain, Is it Still Love?

"Come in."  Wu Zhao leans against his large marble desk, a large slab with ornate black cast iron legs shaped like 4 guardian dragons, with heads protruding from the corners of the table.

Hong Ge's heels click on the marble floor, her outfit more classic than the last time he's seen her.

Wu Zhao snorts.  "That does not suit you."

"I'm not dressing for you, am I?"  Hong Ge smiles seductively.  "At least, not until this is over."

"Besides getting into his pants," Wu Zhao pulls her towards him.  "Did you get into his head?"

"His pants.  His head.  His heart."  Hong Ge leans into him, "Just as you thought, he has a thing for damsel in distress."

"I see."  Wu Zhao pulls her hair and exposes her neck, where he bites down for a kiss.

"Don't mark me."  Hong Ge moans out in pain and much to her dismay, pleasure.

"Let me put you in a little more distress."  Wu Zhao doesn't stop but rather increases his force.  "It will give him something to be angry about."

"Ahhhh."  Hong cries out in pain. 

"Now, tell me."  Wu Zhao gropes her roughly.  "Have you found his weakness."

She snaps open her emerald bracelet and pulls out a hidden USB.  "This is the manifest to date.  Electronics.  Antiques.  Knock offs and some genuine Italian designer bags.  But I think what you really would love to get your hands on is the shipment of jewelry someone is smuggling in as ugliest back splashes for kitchens."

"What a good spy you are." He throws her body onto the marble desktop. "Let me reward you properly."

"Wu Zhao." She protests. "I..."

"Hands."

She hesitates and he chokes her. "Don't forget who's your real master."

She bites back a whimper and stretches her two arms to the two corners. Even while she plays out her part that pleases him, in her mind, she hangs onto the reason for putting herself through this - Detective Li.

She disassociates her mind from the present torment and replaces Wu Zhao with Detective Li, the only man who has truly loved her. Not this abusive, perverted husband.

Even as she cries out in pain and asks for more, she replays the last time she and Detective Li saw each other. That morning, he held her and in his gruff manner, he told her that after everything was over, he would take her far away - to a different country. They would start a new life together - just like any regular couple. Until death did them apart. That made her feel clean. That she could be clean again.

The pain pulls her back into the present.

"Master!" She cries out. "Please, it's too much..."

"Too much?" Wu Zhao sneers. "You've gotten soft. I have to retrain you again."

Later, when Wu Zhao releases her, a satisfied look appears in his eyes.

"You would be pleased to know." Wu Zhao presses on the new bruises appearing on her body. "I do feel something to see proof of your love for me."

"Thank you, Master." Hong Ge bows her head, as she hides quickly the hateful look in her eyes.

When she returns to the condo, she stands in the shower for nearly a full hour, hoping the water would wash away the shame, the hate, the sleaze and the pain. The hot water scalds her, then the cold water prickles her.

When she steps out, she finishes nearly half a bottle of brandy before Han Jin / Wei Xin wrenches it out of her hand.

"Enough." He swigs from the bottle. "What happened?"

He sees the bruises on her wrists and lifts it up for a closer look.

"Does it hurt?"

"Why? Are you going to kiss it and make it all better?" She slurs sarcastically at him.

Han Jin drops it not too gently and walks away. She laughs as tears brim over.

He returns with a tube of medicine for bruises. "Here."

She ignores him. "I'm fine."

He opens the tube and rubs the ointment onto her wrist.

"Just endure it a bit longer." He says as he shifts to the other wrist. "We'll take down that son of a... and you won't have to go thru this again."

That sounds almost like Detective Li. Righteous. Indignant. Angry. But not tender.

"Angry?" She leans in and asks, hopefully. "Are you pitying me? Or having feelings for me?"

"Neither. This is just not the way to treat a person." He sees the welts on her ankles and raises one onto his lap.

The answer pains her. She muses wearily. Maybe she's fallen for him, just a little more.

"What's love without a little pain." She whispers.

"What?" Han Jin checks her other leg for more signs of abuse.

"This is Wu Zhao's version of love." She grabs the bottle off the coffee table and continues drinking. "I guess pain is a good measurement for love."

"That's a sick thought."

"Oh really?" Hong Ge continues. "If you really cared for me, loved me in any way...to see me like this would cause you pain. Detective Li was murderous when he saw me like this. He cried. and I knew that to be love."

"Not everyone is like Detective Li." Han Jin waves her off. "Nor your sick perverted husband."

"I knew I love Detective Li when I heard Wu Zhao had killed him. My heart felt like...it was chopped up. Like his body.

You knew you loved your wife because when she died, you were in such pain that you became a hoodlum.

And though you will deny it, I saw your pain when you nursed a dozen whisky the week after that flower girl quit her job.

And Wu Zhao told me today that he knows I still loved him because I was willing to endure the pain he caused me.

And I know I still love Detective Li, because I am willing to endure the pain so I can avenge his death.

So I ask you, can love be real without some pain?"

Han Jin / Wei Xin grabs the bottle back and finishes it off. He hates to admit it, but there is some logic to her ranting.

Then maybe he can conclude that he loves Ling Ling. Ping Ping. Because knowing that she's gone afflicts his heart. Which is why he avoids thinking about her. Talking about her.

Who is that man from the tea house anyways - but a boyfriend, a foolish puppy love. He, Wei Xin, was her husband. Yes, his heart bolsters with hope. A hope for a new beginning, a peaceful new life with her ... back in his home, his village.

In that moment, he realizes that he and Hong Ge have something in common. That perhaps fate has brought them together because they share that yearning for a new beginning.

Hong Ge is looking for a new beginning and her hope is in Han Jin / Wei Xin. He is looking for a new beginning. His hope is in Ling Ling / Ping Ping.

At this very moment, Ling Ling / Ping Ping is looking for a new beginning. Her hope is in De Yi. Who is entertaining the same thought, as he holds Ping Ping in his arms while she weeps for the end of the chapter with Wei Xin.